I just got done seeing the movie the truth about jane and it actually made me cry because it reminds me of what I'm going through with my mom. Although the mom in the movie has definitely tried more to accept her daughter, like going to the meetings and everything. My mom just confuses me she says she accepts me then does something to show how she really doesn't. It doesn't even seem like she wants to try anymore. I know she cares about me but at the same time she doesn't really show it. She says its because I'm lonely that I like girls and that if I found the "right guy" that I wouldn't be lonely anymore thus I wouldn't like girls and that its just an emotional thing because i'm supposedly lonely. she says that she won't go to the PFLAG meetings because my dad wouldn't like her spending that much time away from home on his day off. she won't sign the marriage petition because she says that she supports me not everybody else well lets see if she won't sign then shes not supporting my getting married to a girl in the future. I'm so confused because for so long she seemed like she completely accepted me and then it was like all the sudden she changed overnight and started acting like she didn't accept me. I just wish she would try harder to accept me and stop acting like I'm just going to turn straight one day.
She's in denial right now. It may take a long time before she moves from acceptance to signing a petition for gay marriage. Try to give her some time to adjust to this. Try to focus on what she has done in the way of moving toward acceptance and be grateful for that. Take one day at a time without pushing her too much but keep the lines of communication open and show her your happiness that comes from living an authentic life. She'll get there! You can go to the PFLAG website and also get some good information for your parents. I think they have a recomended reading list too that might be helpful.
I don't really expect my parents to attend PFLAG meetings; as long as I know they they accept and love me, I'm fine! But as for you, I don't think your mother has really accepted you, despite the fact that she says she has. As becky said, time can possibly fix things. Let her know that being married to another girl is what will bring you true hapiness, and if she doesn't support the marriage petition, then she doesn't support your future. And you should somehow convince her that you won't be turning straight, like, ever. You were born liking girls and it's going to stay that way! Rwar!
I think giving her some readings, websites, and more information would be really good. For us, some of this stuff is a no brainer. However, I've learned that for parents this is all so foreign. It's hard to fullly understand because they've never personally been in this situation and most likely haven't dealt with it before. Information is power and plus, she'll see that you're serious and committed to this. I think it would help her accept and support you!
That is so true dfgnan21! I'm a cancer survivor. When I went through this period in my life that was so scary, I learned that the more I knew about it, the less frightened I became. The same can be true of homosexuality. Unless your parents have known somebody gay in their lives, (besides you) they are probably really clueless as to what its all about.
well thanks for everything but it seems like she doesn't want to see any information I've tried before and she doesn't seem to want anything to do with it. she has always had gay friends too and always treated them really well and cared about them but she seems to close that off with me see thats another thing that reminded me of my mom and I with that movie was that the mom in the movie had a gay friend that she was close to and went to lunch with and yet when it came to her daughter she was different but you know what I'm going to do tonight? I'm going to try to get her to sit down with me and watch the movie because I think she will be able to relate to the mom and our situation maybe that will make her see more clearly it seemed like she was taking so many good steps forward and then all the sudden took several steps back lately. she has known for almost a year now and just resently has she begun to act like this. Sam
Hey Sam, I'm sorry to hear that your mom isn't fully accepting you yet. I hope she watches the movie with you and that it helps her. If she won't watch it, maybe you can reiterate how much you want to be close to her and how you feel when she refuses to try to understand you. That's ridiculous that she has gay friends, but won't accept you! Can you get in touch with them, tell them how you are feeling, and maybe they can work on your mom? Stay strong! You deserve happiness!
ok so it turns out that she had seen the movie a long time ago and said is that the movie where and she described the movie to me but she decided to watch the movie again with me. I had sent her an email to her telling her how she was making me feel a few days earlier and after reading the email she signed the petition and told me that she had signed the petition while we were watching the movie she says that the PFLAG meetings are too far for her to drive and she has nobody to watch my brother who is 8 and knows nothing about my orientation and my mom wants to wait until he is a little older before I tell him which is fine with me but anyway thats why she couldn't bring him with her. overall I can really see that after reading my email I sent her and all the conversations we have had recently I guess she is trying to understand and I guess I just have to be patient. Oh and she said that she likes the movie
