i dont wanna be a gay anymore

Welcome to Empty Closets. Being gay is not something you can control. You're gay and it may be hard to accept but that's who you are. (*hug*) (*hug*) If you try to suppress it or just control it, your feelings will only become more painful. It's not like deciding "oh I guess I'm never going to eat chocolate chip cookies anymore and now I'll just like molasses cookies." I guess you could make that kind of decision.

Good luck.

 

What should you do? I might start by figuring out why exactly you don't want to be gay. Is there any reason (parents, friends, society, ect.) that you think you should be straight?

Is there anything you can do to change your sexuality. This might be kind of disheartening, but no. While there are some people that believe that homosexuality can be 'healed' through consoling and other, more mentally-damaging processes.

My big message for this post is, although homosexuality may be 'different,' it is certainly not bad. Not only am I gay, but I'm also left-handed. *gasp* Is that something that I should be trying to 'correct?' No. It's just who I am. It isn't something that I can change at this point, nor would I have any reason to want to.

Please do respond to that first question, though.

 

THIS IS LONG, BUT READ IT PLEASE. I THINK/HOPE IT COULD REALLY HELP.

I've always compared, and firmly believe that being gay is a trait from birth that cannot be changed. If you were born with blonde hair or brown eyes. Then that's who you are....you can dye your hair you can wear colored contacts but you will never be able to change the fact that that is how you were born and who you are, it might be a very small part of who you are (and so is your sexuality) but is still a part of you.

This isn't something someone gave you or a disease that can be removed. I'm not trying to tell you "you're gay, deal with it and i don't care" because on the contrary i care very much about anyone in need.

Now for the empathetic part. Yes this is who you are, but its not to say that this won't fluxuate naturally or in simpler terms, this isn't written in stone. Your preferences may change over the years, not to say you're going to go from a prodominance of homosexuality to a prodominance of heterosexuality. But who knows, you're only 17, and although it seems like you should have it all figured out by now, 17 is only a number.

Alot of people depending on how they grew up and how open their families are to this kind of thing, then it will affect how long or short it takes for us to either be able to say "yes i am bi/hetero/homosexual and im ok with that" or "maybe i need to look into this a little longer". There never was any certain age anyone said ok you have to know your sexuality by this or this age.

You could be 20 or 45 before you figured this out. Who knows, but i hope for your sake, you won't be as creul to yourself to let refusal get the better of you til you are as old as 40.

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Here's what i want you to do no matter how much it pains you to confront it.

Ask yourself and don't stop asking until you come up with a backed-up answer to: Why is it such a bad thing that when i am masturbating, that i think of males/homosexual pornography instead of females/heterosexual pornography.

And here's what i wouldn't consider a backed-up answer:
1) Because being gay is a disease
2) Because i am supposed to like girls
3) Because society/religion/morals/ethics/family/friends say being gay is wrong

And here's why....

You shouldn't give a shit what religion or society or morals and ethics, friends or family say. I know those last two might be hard to block out but listen up. You are your own person, make your own damn morals and ethics, find a religion that makes you feel good about you and not tell you to change because they say so. Don't give a fuck about what society tells you how to live or who to be.

And although its hard, friends and family love you, and if they can't at the very least respect you or hopefully love you for who you are and who you were born to be, then they ARE NOT your family i don't care about DNA or blood, it takes more than a few cells to make them your parents and more than just smiling and laughter to make them your friends. Friends and family have to love you unconditionally. And that it, period...no exceptions.

*Notice* Sorry for the language used, but i hoped it helped get my point across through this computer screen.

 

felix, I hear you loud and clear. I still struggle w/ feelings of guilt (particularly after having an orgasm) and constantly wonder if I'm on the path I really want to be on.

For the moment, I've come to the conclusion that there is no way for me to know for sure because I can rationalize both embracing and rejecting homosexuality. All I can do is make a choice, hope that it is the right one, and have faith that whatever divine power controls all things will understand that I did my best to choose what I thought was right for me.

 

Get the help you need,
You do not have to be GAY!!!!

 

Actually being gay is not a choice. You did not choose to be straight, you just are. Your son did not choose to be gay either, he just is.

Any "help" that tries to convince gay people that they are not gay is basically brainwashing. This is often offered by certain more extreme religious groups. It will not work and will ultimately lead to years of misery until he accepts the truth.

Please let your some be who he is, and accept him as that. Be pleased that he confided in you,and don't try to force him to be something he isn't.

 

A lot of people are like you (myself included) trying to escape homosexuality but it's just like ANY sin. It takes hard work and discipline to overcome. It starts in your mine According to James ch. 1 and of course initially with God because it is man's NATURE to sin.

 

Ummm so this thread is is from 2006 and while I care as deeply for Felix89, I hope he has accepted on his own that its okay to be gay. I don't think there's much we can do for him at this point =P

Edit: Upon reading Khayri's post though, I feel I should point out being gay is not at all a sin. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, and any (Christian) who thinks it is simply hasn't done their research on how to properly interpret what it says in the bible.