How to know if someone is gay? Is the so-called gaydar a myth? Oh well, funny story, I'm in a writing mood, so if you want to read... Last Wednesday, I was coming back home in the subway. I had just bought another book by David Leavitt -Arkansas- (I'm reading a lot since Goratrix is not on-line at night like he used to ), and I was eagerly looking for a place to sit in order to browse through the book a little. My eye got caught by a guy who was sitting and reading a book, a Stephen King's novel, in English! I had this kind of preconception about guys who master a second language, that the chances of them being gay are higher (yeah, call me a freak, but I do think that), and I thought that maybe it was time to try to test this idea. So I moved closer just in case a place next to him got free; the subway was getting packed so it wasn't obvious at all that I was moving in a particular direction. I could take out my book and try to start a small talk about his (yeah, in my head I'm far more easygoing than I actually am). It was funny just to think of that (my brain seems to be looking for distractions...). Then a chick stood next to me (that is, exactly in front of him), and he checked her out with his sight from head to toe two times, making a stop at some particular places... then he went on reading... and I almost laughed aloud! :icon_lol: So still no gaydar working here! :eusa_thin
My friends constantly ask me if gaydar exists. Only thing is, I'm only in High School, and I think its pretty much impossible to tell if a kid is gay in high school. I wouldnt rule a guy out if he looks over a girl. Think about it. Just about all guys check out girls, its a culture thing. So, naturaly, when a good looking girl walks by, all the guys check her out, and it just becomes habit to look anyways. When i came out to my friends they claimed that i was the last person they expected to be gay, and i think i owe that to conforming to the stuff that they did. Why cant the guys that you want be gay. Funny how that works.
Well if gaydar does exist mine is broken. Proof was when I left my previous job a few weeks ago and was going round saying goodbye to everyone. Someone who had worked there for ages had just put up a small "I can't even think straight" poster with a rainbow flag, plus a couple of other similar posters in his work area. I had never even considered that he might be gay. People at work I had thought might be gay have invariably turned out to be straight (or at least married with children). I guess people who spend more time on the gay scene and missing with a wide range of gay people could be better able to spot gay people in other places. But not me. All I seem to spot is cute straight guys....
It's true! And oh how unfair it is! My friend claims to have a Gaydar, and has been right about nearly every guy he's ever 'detected'. Mind you he's pretty cute, so he probably just notices when other guys check him out .
Well, I have to say, I 100% believe in Gaydar. Before I came out, I couldn't spot a gay person unless they spoke like Jack from Will & Grace, and wore rainbows, but now that I've been out for a little while, and have been going out to gay venues, I've been getting much better at telling who is gay and who isn't. If you think about it though, gaydar makes perfect sense. It's not like we have some esp for spotting sexual preference, but we've probably gone through similiar things in life (isolation, confusion etc.) and so we relate to them, and can see things in them that we notice in ourselves. It's like being Jewish. I can spot another jew from a mile away, not because of a big nose or curly dark hair, but because we've got a similiar cultural background. Well... that's my experience with it.
Sometimes I think my gaydar is broken, but then things happen... Earlier tonight I was walking from the pool to this meeting of glbt people on campus. Pretty much as soon as I stepped out of the building, I saw this guy who was slightly setting off my gaydar. I think it was mostly the clothes he was wearing plus an earring and his hair, but it can be difficult to tell fashionable straight guys from fashionable gay guys these days. As I continued on my way, he kept going in the same direction (he was in front of me). Well, it turns out we were actually going to the same place (which means he's gay), but I had never seen him there before. Then again maybe I'm confusing gaydar with wishful thinking
Someone should right a Gaydar: For Dummies book or soemthing....cuz no one here really seems to agree...there are a few people here who seem to have found their owners manual lol....but the rest of us are clueless...and as for Paul_Uk's comment about 'I can't even think straight'....give me a break lol...even i could've picked that up (no offense)...still luv ya anyway...and popboy...did ya ever think he might just be checking her out and thinking 'that skirt is soooo last season':eusa_hand ....lol
Ok, since I started dating my boyfriend (yay, feels so nice to write that), I actually started to develop my gaydar... and It is working quite well... not perfectly yet, but I'm getting better. I've come to think that it's a matter of knowing mane gay people, that way you are able to find common traits and establish parallels, not 100% sure, but in my experience, about 85% of the guys I think are gay, actually are... There are many others that I think are straight and my boyfriend disagrees, however... we will never know... XD
I admit I have a vibe (as we all probably have) though the fact is that from all the gay guys I've met I knew previously that they were gay, or they were in a context were they were supposed to be gay (i.e. my childhood best friend's birthdays), so actually I have never tested my gaydar "in the wild". I wouldn't be able to tell if the guy I'm dating (let's call him SIN... yes, those are his initials LOL) is gay without talking with him for while, and in the case of L, my gorgeous crush, I'd bet no one would ever find out... and he told me that he's totally gay (for a moment I thought he might be bi).
I have split off the stuff about the guy I work with to here http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=435
