How do you feel about random people (i.e., people that you don't know at all) contacting you via MSN (or AIM or Yahoo) who say that they got your info off of one of those websites like Friendster, MySpace, Facebook, etc? Would you be weirded out? Reason I'm asking: There are a few cute guys at my school that I've found via Facebook (an online college student directory) and I was thinking about IMing them since their info's listed on there... but would that be too weird and stalker-like? I was just thinking, if somebody did that to me, I'd probably talk to them, especially if they went to my school, but that's just me. What do you people think?
Well, for what reason would you be contacting them? Friendship? to suss them out (see if they're gay) etc? I would be lying if I said I'd never found out a cute guy's email and instant messaged him to suss him out. The reaction from people varies quite a lot. Seems as their info is on the website I wouldn't think they would see you as stalker-like or anything. But if they don't want to talk to you, dont hassle them - that's when it turns stalker-like Dave
Actually, I already know they're gay :eusa_danc ... says so on the site! Oh yeah (forgot to answer the second part to that question)... yeah, friendship mostly. I mean, they're at my school so I might as well try to get to know them, right? I dunno if that's how you want to make friends tho. LOL The way it's supposed to work is you get a mutual friend to introduce you or you just happen to meet at a party *achem* or you meet on a totally-awesome message board -CK
Lol. Well I think walking up to them in real life, just out of the blue could be a bit imposing. Contacting them over the net is probably a better option, but i think if you can get introduced to them, that's the best way. You may not have any mutual friends, so you could 'accidently' bump into them or something. lol. Of course, you could always try the direct approach - Walk up and introduce yourself. "Hi, I think you're totally cute and couldn't help noticing you from the otherside of the room. Wanna spend the night at my place? " I think I'll leave the how up to you. Dave
well, my thoughts are, why post something on the interner if you didn't want people to contact you? i say if his im stuff is on there, it's totally fair game!! do the damn thing! if he thinks it's stalkerish, just tell him that you just wanted to be friends because you share the same campus and stuff... nothing more. if he doesn't understand, it's his fault for putting his contact information online.
As long as you approach it casually, I can't see how they can object (without seeming like freakazoids, that is) since they're the ones who put their info up in the first place. Often how people react in those kinds of situations says far more about them than you. What I would definitely advise against (one of my biggest pet peeves) is approaching them as if you knew them really well. Even if you've read every last post on their LifeJournal or blog, if you haven't met someone, chances are you really have no clue about who they are. I absolutely HATE IT when people who have seen my website email me and start talking like we're long-lost friends. If you haven't met someone, then they're a stranger, and you should treat them appropriately, which mainly consists of having no expectations that they'll initially reply or that they'll devote a good chunk of their life to you. I really have no trouble with people contacting me out of the blue--it's when they act like they know me that really pisses me off.
I'd say its fine because they themselves are gay. But if they were straight I wouldn't do it, it would wierd them out.
well if they put their contact nfo on the site. you could assume that they would want to talk to new people.
Although there is a difference between Internet contact and walking up on someone: Hey, I just saw your ad on <whatever site you choose>. Personally If I ever posted an ad (not my thing, though) I'd be freaked out by someone who'd do that, and most likely punch them in the face... XD
LOL, punching them in the face sounds a little...drastic. But I agree that opening a conversation with 'hey i just saw your ad' could be a little wierd. Try talking to them without mentioning the ad, but if you can't think of a way to start a conversation with them, saying "hey, I just saw your ad" could prove to be quite alright. Dave
I am a drastic person... Still, that was an overstatement... but I'd probably be freaked out and be agressive in other ways. Some more hurtful ways than actually punching somebody in the face....
Is there any paricular reason, goratrix? Theoretically, if you put up an internet ad for the sole purpose of meeting people, it would mean you want to meet new people.
Yeah... but personally I like to keep internet out of my life... and my life out of internet. I barely chat with my friends... well, I can safely say that I probably wouldn't post an ad... If I want to meet someone... then I'll just meet them. I know i'll be lonely for most of my life... but I like to think balance will come, and eventually I will find someone if balance will... and I don't think that posting ADs would work for me... I am way too emotional...
Hey guys. Let's see... I think I'm gonna contact this guy b/c even though his profile isn't on one of those dating/match sites (he's on this college website that allows you to find out who's in your classes) I checked his away message one day (oh man, I really AM a stalker... :eusa_doh: ) but it says that he's thinking (jokingly) about flying out to California to pick up some guys since he says the ones around here suck... HAHAHA Yeah, so I think I will IM him (if he ever gets his ass back online) because he's obviously looking, and so am I... so why not? There's just one minor problem: I think he's one of those guys who has been out for a while (and to everybody) and who has known that he was gay since he was 3 and told people that at 7... I'm not sure that out guys really want to "deal" with guys that are still (partially) in the closet... -CK
Seriously, in terms of how willing he'll be to deal with you still coming out, it'll come down to how much he likes you/thinks there's a future between the two of you. Or at least that's what it came down to with me. And of course it also depends how much he believes in everyone being out (i.e. how militant he is about it).
I think it's okay to answer them if you want. You just have to be real careful about stalkers. If you get a red flag feeling, cut it off. If you're an adult and a young teen answers your ad then you're taking a BIG risk. NBC is still out there catching predators.
Nope. I don't think this is cool. As an adult, I've made adult "friends" through social media because they were a friend of a friend, and it feels weird.