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Embracing your homosexuality

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by eron, Jan 11, 2023.

  1. Kevins1197

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    I
    I've known since my teens that I was attracted to other boys but 17/18 was the first time I allowed myself to enjoy that attraction and I was so powerful and erotic, I felt something I never did before.

    I think subconsciously I was more comfortable with the idea of being intimate with other males, it’s like getting to explore the male body but through some one else.

    I think if I truly knew what gay was growing up I’d probably say 11 was when boys gave me that tingling feeling.

    Funny thing is most of the girls I did like usually were gay or bi themselves.
     
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  2. Kevins1197

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    I was almost the same way except I was sneaking into gay chat rooms, but I’d always want to touch and tickle other boys feet that should have been the first clue I’m not straight
     
  3. Enzo46

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    I think that they are different. Accepting it in my view means no longer fighting it and accepting in a positive way that that is you and that you are not going to change whereas embracing it means actually acting upon it and expressing and experiencing your sexuality in the world. Of course other people may have different views.
     
  4. dch

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    Oops! I guess I didn't stop to consider this. I suppose I'm more or less at the accepting stage and not fully embracing it yet. I apologize if my posts here were inappropriate given the topic of the thread.
     
  5. eron

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    @dch your posts are great. no need to apologize. To add a twist to the thread, I'm curious how those who are not out at all embrace their homosexuality? Or for those who are out, how did you embrace it before you came out?
     
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  6. dch

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    Well, I guess so far my version of embracing my homosexuality is going on a gay dating app every month or so for two or three days just hoping for someone to talk to and then feeling guilty and deleting it. Also, I guess I feel a little less uncomfortable when I go searching for images of men online.
     
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  7. Jakebusman

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    I have accept myself as Bisexual and my attraction to guys but guess you could say I haven't embraced it because I havent any experence with a guy.
     
  8. eron

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    One of the ways for me is chatting here on EC. I'm slowly working on coming out - at least to a few people, but in the meantime I look for other "discreet" ways to embrace it. I have experience with guys, and that helps too - of course. In my original post, I also recounted how I was in a foreign city and went to a gay cafe. I thought of myself as an openly gay man while I was there, and it was a really good feeling.
     
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  9. Incoming

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    Hilarious isn't it. I wonder if it was a way of experiencing "sexuality" years before puberty actually set in. I mean, think about it - contact with another person's feet, and their foot odor, is a strong physical sensation. It's probably the most intimacy you can have with another person without crossing the line. Plus the sense of smell is probably already mature at an early age...
     
    #69 Incoming, Jan 29, 2023
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2023
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  10. Searching2022

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    Acknowledging that I was gay, even when I wasn't ready to make any public steps, allowed me to informed decisions and not have to waste time pursuing things to 'fix' my 'gay fantasy' 'problem', or false hopes that some woman will come along that I am so attracted to that I will be 'saved' from being gay.

    I don't know your personal situation and I am not saying it's easy but I have seen similar apprehension from EC posters who went to be fully out and dating or in relationships.

    Psych myself up for - well put I realized that I had to do that too, and it always felt like a chore.

    Acceptance: Acknowledging you are gay. No longer wasting time on excuses, 'fixes' , or living your life pretending you are not gay. You may not like it about yourself, but you accept its reality.
    Embracing: I see embracing as acceptance+. Some people have felt powerful surges of positive emotion by going to the mirror and saying "I am gay". There's a point after acceptance, sometimes called the 'pink cloud' where you feel like that all the time. its that feeling that being gay is a beautiful part of myself and I feel happy to be in touch with it, and wouldn't change it if I could.

    From ..."I guess I am gay" to... "Wow, I can finally pursue my sexual and romantic dreams!"
     
    #70 Searching2022, Jan 29, 2023
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2023
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  11. Gayhusband

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    I know exactly what I would do. I play the same game with myself all the time. Be myself!
     
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  12. Searching2022

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    Ideally, I think embracing should come before acting upon it- I had two gay experiences years ago, I gave a blow job and received anal intercourse. Though I enjoyed it at the time- the blow job felt so natural - but after I was racked with guilt, fear, and anxiety.
     
  13. Kevins1197

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    Honestly that’s where my first experiences came from although I didn’t yet know what gay was but love the feeling i gave me, I thought maybe it was some kink I’d grow out of. It was from that I started noticing more than their legs and feet.

    Usually the first thing I notice is how cute his toes are. I guess it was discovering my foot fetish helped me embrace my homosexuality, it just feels natural being attracted to guys.
     
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  14. Jakebusman

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    I have never been with a guy but still have thoughts and fantseys about guys does that mean anything ?
     
  15. Gayhusband

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    I definitely knew something was up in 7th grade when I became infatuated with one of the boys in my gym class’s feet. I still think about them decades later. I loved how his feet looked in socks but especially bare. His strong arches and sexy toes were so enticing to me.I was so ashamed of my infatuation. The suppression of my desires started immediately unfortunately. Being turned on by my male gym mates feet was just too much to comprehend so young.
     
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  16. Gayhusband

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  17. Gayhusband

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    I need to take that leap. It’s my only way out
     
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  18. Gayhusband

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    I let the ugliness and the name calling get to me. I should have shown more strength when seeing others suffer from the insults and teasing. I took the easy road out for far too long
     
  19. Enzo46

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    The real question is whether these thoughts and fantasies are so invasive and strong that you feel that you have no real option but to experience intimacy with a guy. Of course the path to doing this may be very difficult but trying to repress these feelings if they are so strong never works and they will just grow stronger.
     
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  20. Contented

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    My experience has been that gay doesn’t disappear if you ignore it. Over time the desire to be with another man intensifies to the point it becomes overwhelming and you must act. Indeed the path is a difficult one for those of us later in lifers trapped in compulsory heterosexuality. Sometimes the swiftest surgery is the best and least psychologically painful in the long run.
     
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