This certainly poses a conundrum... Do you truly desire that something, or do you merely like the idea of desiring it (say, for normative reasons)?
When I am out, I think I truly do, I just don't get aroused or seem to be able to fantasize, it's like there is a block. I just don't find women pretty on the street- I desire to touch them in sexual ways if I am attracted, but its almost like I feel like I don't deserve it. But at home I can get 'excited' about thinking about a woman but not aroused.
That is very interesting, and very puzzling. It would seem that you’re a transitional phase between who you thought you were and who you are. If you’re “excited” but not aroused, that is odd. Is this excitement in the form of happy feelings, or tension or anxiety?
You are right about desire, fantasy, attractions, arousal along with behavior off course. Taking action versus exercising constraint. It’s complicated and some of us are inhibited to to act on or take a step fearing external factors which are different Than those internal factors within us (that might have to do with someone’s genetic makeup or DNA or it might not) The external factors i mentioned earlier above are Family, Religion or religious beliefs, the culture ( mainly the heteronormative one) our living environment all of these can contribute or can affect a person during the development of his sexual orientation and identity. If only more people were inclined to accept sexual diversity than dismissing or judging it. People would be more at ease in acting and expressing their self freely. Also I think one should look at the big picture. The general patterns and not fall prey to over analyzing every situation and make things more complicated. Otherwise who knows one might end up with OCD.