It’s been a little over 2 weeks since I’ve seen her, I have tried my ass off to keep busy but she is all I think about from the time I go to sleep till I wake up, I even dream about her. I have wanted people in the past, men particularly and I feel like it’s different with the same sex. There are so many what if’s with not so good outcomes compared to the what ifs of the opposite sex. I feel physically hurt thinking of her. I can’t think or look at anyone else, my body nor mind has no desire for any one else but her.
I’m sorry you’re missing her so much and its stressing you like this. I can empathize as I’ve had these feelings as well.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've felt similar to this before, although everyone's experiences of heartbreak and longing are unique. I would start going on about myself but I don't think that's appropriate. It will get easier though. I know it doesn't feel like it in the moment. But as time passes old feelings fade and new ones replace them. It means you're a caring person and somebody will be lucky to have you care this much about them one day, whether it's this current person you're struggling with or somebody else. Please try to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself while you're feeling like this, it's not always easy but it helps.
i can relate to so many of your posts!! i am not married and i have always known im gay but i think we are similar in age and i am too missing someone very much! similar situation to your kids teacher scenario i have a big crush on someone that because of work is now moving on and its devastating. Seing her was the highlight of my life and i did think i was going crazy. I told her i was gay but never spoke much more about it. the wanting more, and seing signs she might be interested but being terrified was overwhelming. Im going to tell you the same things i tell myself over and over and hope some might help: - see this as a blessing to give you breathing space. It might have been the highlight of your day seing her but the levels of stress are not sustainable long time - you have time to focus on yourself and the things that might be important to you outside of her (whether that is your husband, kids or something as simple as doing some exercise) - Everytime my mind wanders to her i like to picture my mind wandering literally like a bubble and i try to gently burst it with a needle to “bring me back to reality” (as painful as it might feel in my body). I remind myself “ive already had this daydream and its taken me nowhere”. - When you say your body physically hurts, that might be the reason why you daydream or have her always in your mind. Your body is trying to protect you from the pain by escaping to your mind- Have you tried mindfulness? Gentleness is key here, you are not crazy, we have all been here the only difference is that you can only hear the things you think, not what anyone else thinks (you might be surprised how similar we all are) I wish you the best of luck and i know this is all a bit rant from me but i want to ensure you know you are not alone and that we all go through these things
Hi Laine7008. Love hurts, doesn't it? Pain is the price we pay for it. You haven't mentioned this, but I'm curious...is this an ex? Or an unrequited love? - ie is there a chance it may be reciprocated at some point? Hugs, Beth x
I'm sorry you're going through this, truly. I've been enamoured with another woman like this as well, and I know how all-consuming it can be. And you're right; something about it does feel different, which I think in cases like yours (and mine) is largely owed to the lack of same-sex experience. I can't promise you'll get over her quickly or easily. You might find periods of time where it doesn't feel as pressing, times where you might even be too busy or overwhelmed with other things to think of her. But I can say that time, hobbies, and focusing on anything that gives you a sense of purpose will help. It might take a concerted effort to pull your thoughts away from her long enough to undertake these tasks, but it will happen so long as you try. Give yourself as much time as you need to work through these feelings; that's important. But--and I know this is hard, believe you me--try not to dwell on them. Feel your feelings, express them however you need to (journal, cry, listen to music, poetry, art, anything) and gradually, things will get better.
Thank you so much for your reply!! I love when someone get in depth with a response, everything you said is very similar to my situation but I have not told her my feeling, I want to I am just scared if it was to go the wrong way how it would not only affect me but my kids as well. We are Facebook friends so there’s that at least. sigh. Lol
its really confusing lol. but she is a teacher at my childrens school, that’s how we met, we have had some interactions but nothing crazy. although, one in particular moment that I actually wrote about on here and I talked to my mom about and is always straight up and honest with me, she wouldn’t bullshit me even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear, we had a moment in the car pick up line right before school let out, I would always look at her every chance I got because, duh she’s beautiful but on this occasion we made a very long and intense eye contact. My whole body filled with some sort of feeling I can’t put into words. And how I described this to my mom and she agreed with me, being a woman, we can read other womens body language and facial expressions because we are well, women ourselves lol She didn’t look at me like “why the fuck is the girl staring at me” “this is weird” “she is weird” she actually looked almost, happy/cute, I don’t know the right word to use but when we broke eye contact she fumbled her foot on the ground and blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear smiling. Now, if I seen a woman do that to a man, I would say, she likes him or she thinks he’s cute. Right?
Hi Laine7008, It's had to say, we did not see the whole scene and you saw it through your own attracted eyes. I would say the best way to find out would be to try to have more contact with her. But I get you don't want to overstep or be inappropriate on her workplace. I don't mean to ask her out, I mean to try to talk to her more often so that you could maybe get a bit more hints about how you make her feel.
