First Experience

Well my first lesbian-type kiss was when I was 17 with the Belgian foreign-exchange student at my high school, oooofff she was so gorgeous! Then my first sexual experience with a girl was my friend right after high school with also her sort-of bf and my then bf. I had a crush on this friend and we had made-out before and after this incident too but then I moved away. Now she's married to a guy and has 3 kids.

 

12- slept naked with my cousin who was a year older. We were camping behind my house in the summer. It just happened.
I loved it- never did it again- but still care for my cousin

 

I answered a personal ad in my early 20s. Less than five minutes after I got there, he started pawing me—before I had a chance to decide if I liked him or not. So I went along with it. He clearly thought I was more experienced. We exchanged oral (if it’s Ok to say that). I enjoyed doing it, but didn’t like having sex with someone I didn’t connect with. Didn’t develop feelings for him or reach out to him again.

 

I didn't have my first real experience until later in life, but when I was 12 -13, I remember wrestling with a friend wrapped only in sheets during a sleepover, and we were both very aroused trying to get each other naked. Around the same time, I had a friend who I masturbated with a few times, I was always suggesting doing oral, but he refused. I chalked it up to teen curiosity and started to turn to girls, but looking back....hmmm.

 

I had my first experience when I was 21. I had recently gotten out of a straight relationship and was questioning my sexuality in a chat room online. I met another guy there and invited him to come over. We explored each other’s bodies, and I enjoyed it intensely, until I finished. Then I was overwhelmed with feelings of shame and guilt. I wouldn’t hold his hand and I grew quickly cold and distant. He wrote his phone number down for me in case I wanted to get together again, but I was wrought with my internalized homophobia that after he left I tore it up.

I wish I hadn’t been so cold to him and I regret not calling him again!

 

Sounds like a amazing experience

 

It really was pretty amazing, and it has fueled my fantasies for years.

 

I remember going through that. The excitement and intense feelings and goosebumps and total enjoyment….not wanting it to end…the erection like I never had before…and then like you…I was disgusted with myself when it was over. I’m glad I have overcome the internalized homophobia

 

Had my first gay experience in HS with a friend I was studying with. Really enjoyed it and continued meeting up for sex for the next year or so. It was really all about the sex. I had a tremendous case of internalized homophobia.

 

But you eventually got over it

 

Yes I have thank goodness.

 

Have you had any experences since then

 

No I have not. It’s been wayyy too long

 

Sucks

 

I was probably about 8 years old or so. My best friend and I went to my attic and got naked. We ‘had sex’ but it was really us just rubbing our penises together while hugging. I remember a week or so later he was at my house and I suggested we do it again but he didn’t want to. Perhaps that was the start of my interest in men but I don’t know.

 

I wish I had gotten over it (internalized homophobia) when I was young. But I just never had the courage I guess. Instead, I forced myself to be attracted to women (of course I never was) for fear of being found out and I eventually married. I’m still in the closet years later, but I have at least accepted that I’m gay and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve stopped even trying anymore. It’s weird, but I even feel relief that I can’t perform in bed with a woman anymore.

 

I was 12 and it was a boy I was in the scouts with. For about a year and a half I would go over to his house and we would role play, he'd dress up in his mom's close and we'd do stuff like pretend we were on an airplane and he was the stewardess or go into a big walk in closet (very on the nose) and pretend it was an new york city office building elevator that got stuck during a power outage. We pretend to flirt in the role play and it would become kissing, hand jobs, oral, and mutual masturbation. I look back and realize I absolutely had feelings for him. But I ended it out of growing shaming (there's that internalized homophobia) and a sudden terror that I'd gotten AIDs. I put myself back deep into the proverbial closet.

 

It’s amazing how so many of us gay men were able due to societal pressure fake heterosexuality. We hide our true selves in many cases years and years. We sacrificed our happiness and fulfillment in fear of what other people would think. While I certainly can’t change the past however I am so sorry I was not able to come out as gay at a young age. I would happily forego my wasted years living the lie of heterosexuality to have been a openly gay teenager and young adult even with all issues and problems that would caused.