Hi, nice to meet you all. TommyC00 here, I'm a student in the UK, recently came out as gay, and I love to stay active, whether it be gym, swim or other sports. Can't wait to talk more, hope you all have a lovely day
TommyC00.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! There are a number of sub-forums here on EC...why don't you check them out and then feel free to join in the conversations! This is a community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. You can ask questions in any of the Sub-forums by creating a new thread or by joining in a conversation-thread that is already going. You can also post a message on anyone's Profile Page after you have made at least ten posts yourself. If you have a question that is somewhat private you can always send a Private Message to any Staff Member. Normally Private Messages can only be exchanged between two Full Members, but a PM to a Staff Member is an exception. We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! .....David
Thanks everyone! So tell me a bit about yourselves... where are you from? when/how did you come out? I'll start! So I'm from the North East of England (whey ayeee) and I came out 2 weeks ago to my family and friends. It received an... interesting response, which I'll probably share in another forum post
Thanks for your kind words! So it went much better than I expected, as I thought I'd be kicked out that same day. Unfortunately they haven't accepted my sexuality, and have sent me to the church leaders in the hope I can be changed back. Needless to say that hasn't worked, and I'm still 100% gay!
I’m glad it went better than expected, but I’m sorry that they’re not accepting. Do you live with them? It sounds like a really hard situation.
Yep, studying at a nearby uni so living at home. It sucks cos I know churches can be accepting, but ours DEFINITELY ISN'T. I need to decide what I want to do, whether to stay and hide away, or leave and be the fun, happy gay guy that's inside of me.
Is leaving an option? If you can leave, it sounds like that would be the better option for your mental health. Do you have supportive friends at university? Perhaps somebody that you could live with whilst you finish your studies.
TOmmyC00.....Just a thought, is there an accepting church in your area? Perhaps they would be able to accept you still attending church even if it was a different church than theirs? .....David
Thanks for your support, it means so much to have people in my corner. Yes I do have friends who would be willing to take me in, I just haven't gotten the courage to tell my family I want to leave. I have told my church leader that I want to move to a different one, but they seem to be clinging onto me, like they can't afford to lose me. Honestly I don't even know if I want anything to do with religion anymore..
Hello! Welcome to EC. I hope you get to move. You don't have to be part of church to be religious. I'm not part of any church, but I do believe in God and he sees it all. As long as you are true to yourself and a kind person, then it's all good. Telling your family is the hardest part. I'm still trying to gather courage myself. Best of luck to you. I hope it works out very well for you.
Hi Tommy! I'm from Canada, but I've always dreamt of visiting England! You lot have the best musicians in history/presently in my opinion! As far as coming out, I came out as trans a few years ago in a classic sit down and dramatically tell the fam kind of way (which went as well as it could have), but haven't come out as gay yet! Sort of hoping I'll just bring home a boy one day and be like- surprise!
Do you think that your family will put resistance to you moving out? If you’re at university, then you’re old enough to move out.
Tommy.....What is most important right now is what is best for you. You're old enough to leave home...but are you financially able to do so? Do you have a job or could you get one so that you don't have to rely on your parents? You said you have friends that you could live with...perhaps you should talk to them about that possibility. As far as the church goes...if the church is not helping you, if it is not a positive part of your life, then you have every reason to leave it. You don't even need to tell them why, although you can if you wish. If you don't want to deal with any more face-to-face meetings, just drop them a letter letting them know that you no longer wish to be part of their congregation. The England of today is not the England of the fifteenth century...they can't chop off your head!! If you don't want to have anything to do with religion for now...there's nothing wrong with that. Perhaps later you'll find an accepting church that you will be comfortable attending. That is up to you. Your parents have their life, now it's time that you have your own life to live as you desire. Taking advice from parents is not a bad thing...my three sons often ask me what I think about things...but they make their own decisions and I stay out of those choices. They raise their children as they see fit. I love my grandchildren...but I do not contradict how they are raised...it's not my place to do so. It's time for you to make your own decisions about your life. If your parents give you advice that you think is good and you follow it...fine, no problem. But if you disagree, it's your life so it's your choice to do as you see fit. Please think about these things seriously. I think you have come to the point where stepping away from "home" and being under your parents "control" has come. Give it serious thought. Please keep us updated on how all of this works out for you. Remember, you are a part of our LGBTQIA+ Family and we do care! .....David