I feel like I'm drowning

Oh, they were there. Even in the liberal north east around the year 2000 was incredibly hostile to lgbt folk, so no one spoke up. Last year, I actually got a message from a guy I went to HS with who confessed that he had a big gay crush on me the whole time, and that he was convinced that I HAD to be bi (“at least bi” was his phrasing). He’s not someone to come out to before the general public, but I hope I can come out some day so I can tell this guy that he wasn’t imagining things, he just got the gender wrong

 

I'm so sorry you and your friend went through all that. I know how draining it can be, having people bully you day in and day out to that extent--I can only imagine how much worse it would have been if they'd known for a fact neither of you were straight. I'm glad he ultimately went on to live a happy life, though. Do you get the impression your sister will be the more accepting, given her hints? If so, telling her first sounds like a good idea. I'm sure she can also give you some insight into how to broach it with your parents, as well.

 

I just wanted to say, welcome to EC. I think you have probably already achieved more than you realise. Sometimes admitting and accepting the truth yourself can be the hardest part, especially after years of denying it.

I think there is a sense of peace in self acceptance and hopefully coming out to your family when the time is right will go better then you anticipate. Definitely keep reading and posting

 

This is so true!

 

I am afraid that I have to disagree with this. Persons of color are all over also and racists still exist. Women make up over half the entire human race and yet misogynists still exist.

 

When you’re right, you’re right. Good point.

 

Well, of course. No-one said that racism, misogyny and homophobia are going to disappear overnight. Call me a naive glass-half-full Pollyanna if you like but I think that as a general rule the more visible LGTBQ+ people there are out there, the more it normalises it, particularly in the minds of the young. I can see the progress that is being made in my own stepson's generation. No-one in my own year at school in the mid 80s would have dared come out. Nowadays it's completely normal for a year cohort of 15/16 year olds in the UK to contain a scattering of out LGTBQ kids.

Now that doesn't mean that bigotry and prejudice is defeated. If the human race survives until the 22nd Century there are still going to be close-minded f***wits among us! But (in the West, at least) in the minds of the vast Mr and Mrs Average cis het majority out there, a steadily increasing visible presence of people like us shows them that there is nothing to be scared of. And remember that's what homophobia and transphobia is at the end of the day - an irrational fear.