1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

42, married, and tortured by confusion...

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by MarkinThai, Oct 5, 2020.

?

Reading my post, what's your first intuitive thought?

Poll closed Oct 8, 2020.

  1. "This guy is likely gay, psychologically closeted, and should come on out!"

    1 vote(s)
    12.5%

  2. "This guy is confused, it's not clear he's gay, might just need to do more reflection.”

    1 vote(s)
    12.5%

  3. "It's impossible to say from that intro, but anyway welcome to EC!"

    5 vote(s)
    62.5%

  4. Something else entirely, and I'll say something in a reply to your post...

    1 vote(s)
    12.5%
Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 2 of 3
  1. Ram90

    Ram90
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    394
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Sexual Pressure? Not so much in the time I spent in the closet, initially. But once I came out to supportive friends at 27, and started online dating, meeting guys, I was probably more excited and cautious at the same time ha ha. But in the year that followed, when I actively tried meeting guys, I observed my mind going towards a lot of "sexual thoughts" more than usual. :grin:. Stay safe and have a nice time! :slight_smile:
     
    #21 Ram90, Oct 9, 2020
  2. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    What I mean, to be clear, is “pressure” from inside - basically just lust, spewing out but of course with no outlet. No building up inside. But leaking ... in sort of new ways, like I found myself masturbating in car during a solo drive recently. Just no way to ignore the build up. And watching TONS of porn.

    heh. I’m probably just a typical sex-starved man arent I.
     
    #22 MarkinThai, Oct 10, 2020
  3. Mus1cGuy69

    Mus1cGuy69
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2020
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Welcome to the site!
     
    #23 Mus1cGuy69, Oct 10, 2020
  4. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thanks
     
    #24 MarkinThai, Oct 10, 2020
  5. Lucy Marie

    Lucy Marie
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2020
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    MHK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Anytime you need that hug, I’m here. ((momhugs)) can make it all better. My son is same. :slight_smile:
    We have to lift each other up. You can do it.
    And a special super hug...(((momhugs)))
     
    #25 Lucy Marie, Oct 16, 2020
  6. old tacoma

    old tacoma
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2020
    Messages:
    267
    Likes Received:
    190
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey, MarkinThai — I signed up here just a few days ago, and I’m glad I did. I have been binge forum reading! Mainly focused on the Later in Life, but the other forums are excellent resources as well. Welcome!
     
    #26 old tacoma, Nov 4, 2020
  7. SeattlebiM

    SeattlebiM
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2020
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I've never felt as macho as I'm supposed to be. I've always been bi but 50 and there's no way I can come out. To make it even more difficult, it's never going to be love, it's just going to be sex. I like to find another closeted bi man for FWB. Am I a coward? Am I a freak that I'm sexually bi but I'm only actually going to fall in love with a woman?
     
    #27 SeattlebiM, Nov 4, 2020
  8. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi Old Tacoma! Thanks for saying hi.

    I lived in Tacoma for 1.5 years just a few years back before moving to Seattle and then back here to SE Asia!

    Small world. Looking forward to chatting.

     
    #28 MarkinThai, Nov 4, 2020
  9. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So far anyway, in my journey, I basically feel the same as you. It makes for a lot of self-doubt and honestly self-hatred; this constant feeling like it's something oh so deep but ALSO, on some level, maybe oh so shallow...
     
    #29 MarkinThai, Nov 4, 2020
  10. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hold on - did I just get consecutive posters here on my welcome thread from Tacoma and Seattle, respectively? :grin:

    Ha! I wish I were still back there in the PNW, maybe just down the street from you guys!! ... oh well. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #30 MarkinThai, Nov 4, 2020
  11. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Ohhh.. just noticed you're in Hawaii..now I'm thinking 'old tacoma' is your pickup truck ;>

     
    #31 MarkinThai, Nov 4, 2020
  12. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    THANKS :slight_smile:

     
    #32 MarkinThai, Nov 5, 2020
  13. SeattlebiM

    SeattlebiM
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2020
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Well I am pretty close to where you used to be. Too bad you/re not around.
     
    #33 SeattlebiM, Nov 5, 2020
  14. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I
    It really is. We lived right in Cap Hill for 2017. I’d love to get back there someday.
     
    #34 MarkinThai, Nov 5, 2020
  15. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    But!!!

    the possibility of actually being ABLE TO fall in love with a man, I think, likely depends on being able to fully love and accept that part of you in yourself...which would mean coming out.

    so my lack of imagination around that I think has a clear antecedent

    I just really need to meet more guys!!

    and if I’m honest I’m just not “into” asian dudes, at least not right now...which means living here in Thailand isn’t ideal. Seattle on the other hand

    I wish I’d done it differently and taken advantage of my surrounds more then!!
     
    #35 MarkinThai, Nov 5, 2020
  16. Lucy Marie

    Lucy Marie
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2020
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    MHK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I can play this game! No, not flippant...
    I lived Tacoma/Olympia area 2005 to 2010...
    Miss lushness of surroundings. So green!
    As you were,
    ((momhugs))
     
    #36 Lucy Marie, Nov 5, 2020
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2020
  17. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm happy to report that I've come out (via FB Messenger) to the first person ever, an old friend and co-worker. She's now giving me an understanding ear and advice via that chat...feels SO good...it's not enough, but it's something. Something amazing.
     
    #37 MarkinThai, Nov 5, 2020
  18. old tacoma

    old tacoma
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2020
    Messages:
    267
    Likes Received:
    190
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Congratulations, and best wishes! It is truly a good feeling to know that you’re no longer alone with this part of you, isn’t it?
     
    #38 old tacoma, Nov 6, 2020
  19. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi and welcome to EC.

    Congratulations! I’m pleased that it went well. :slight_smile:
     
    #39 LostInDaydreams, Nov 7, 2020
  20. QueerYogi

    QueerYogi
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2020
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi, I am in the same situation but I'm a woman feeling confused about my marriage to a man. I love him but don't feel in love. Idk if I am actually a lesbian who fell victim to compulsory heterosexuality or what. Maybe review that term if you haven't before.
     
    #40 QueerYogi, Nov 16, 2020
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 2 of 3