Have You ever said something homophobic/transphobic to better hide in the closet?

No never! I always spoke up for gay rights even though im still in the closet. I just feel whether we identify as straight or queer its not for us to judge one another.

 

I don't remeber my thought process at the time, so I'm not sure if it was even to hide better, but...

When I was 12, I was part of an online community that was *VERY* toxic.
I saw some people joking about how they identified as attack helicopters.
So I decided to join in, saying that I identified as whatever random word came into my head.

And I'm really ashamed of it.
I really messed up.

 

Unfortunately yes. Back then I was still getting used to the fact that I am transgender. I was in a group of very judgemental people and they started to make fun of LGBT in general. Especially transgender people. I was terrified and desperately wanted to hide any sign that I might be trans myself. Totally ridiculous since they had no way of knowing that. But yes I ended up saying some very transphobic things and I'm still very ashamed of it.

 

I'm not sure it could be called "the closet" since I wasn't even out to myself at the time. I just knew there were certain people you didn't want to be seen associating with, certain behaviors that would make you a target, and that one of the ways to take attention from yourself was to do as everyone else

 

I've said a a few homophobic things back when I was first discovering my sexual orientation during the 6th grade. However, I was very consistently outwardly pro-LGBT for all the time 7th grade and onward.

 

*Cringes at the thought of my past self*

Unfortunately, yes. I remember there was a rumour going around about me liking a particular girl and when I was asked about it, I used the opportunity to insult this girl by suggesting that she was a creepy lesbian and that of course I didn't like her, but that she probably liked me. This was just an attempt at throwing off suspicion but I do regret my behaviour.

As for transphobic, unfortunately I used to have friends who would make attack helicopter jokes. I was openly gay but I had some internalised homophobia- I was quite concerned with "not being like other gays", so I laughed along with these jokes to prove that I was cool and not over-sensitive. There was a sense of pressure of representing the community in a good light. I took part in these jokes and made some of my own. At first, I didn't fully see the harm, I thought that the joke was to make fun of individuals who identified as something unrelated to gender (such as stars), but then I realised it was also being used against transgender individuals.

I think for the most part, a lot of my homophobic and transphobic nature was through inaction. Laughing at homophobic comments, nodding along with transphobic remarks and so on.

 

Yes I will admit that I have and what I said in the past was wrong. I did so to primarily fit in because I was scared of being gay or bisexual. I believe deep down I knew I was same-sex attracted but didn't want to admit it to myself. I've gone through periods of self-acceptance to denial of it and primarily focused on dating boys in order to fit in with a lot of my friends. Now, I can admit to myself that I do like women, more so than I thought, and men not as much, if at all.

 

Nope. People assume I'm gay so it would look stupid if I said anything.

 

I stated YES because after so many decades of hiding I am sure I have said things like that even though I tried not to be that way.

 

I feel horrible about it, but i do this regularly to avoid issues at home, the only people who i think might suspect is one of my lesbian couple friends and one of my gay friends that ive worked with

 

The neighborhood where I live everyone is abusive in language to everyone. I can’t go out side with out people cat calling or calling me slurs (And I’m not even out of the closet). Where I live is crazy and being called gay is actually ranked as one of the worst. It is so sad. And I’ll admit I call people gay a lot, because if you don’t hold up for your own you are nothing. So I use a lot of slurs in my language, though as I have become more aware I try to filter my language.

 

If we step out of the box, and look at everybody, Heteros have said mean things at each other for ever.
I met one guy, he was masculine, I am not, he said all the right things, made me so hot, I found my self saying all the things that turned him on,,we almost had a thing but COVID got in the way.
I could so quickly fall into a feminine life style, and if the OLD MAN called me a derogatory name while with his masculine counterparts,,I could deal with it.
Can we coexist with opposites? Masculine and Feminine gay or straight.

 

I was a staunch advocate of gay/trans rights long before I knew it would ever affect me.

 

Yes in my past. Now no I hate It. I don’t know but now when I hear that talk now it hurts inside. I guess because those comments may be directed at me

 

Before I came out, I had a lot of misconceptions about trans people. It was only after I started going to groups in college. I remember the first time I was asked my pronouns, I was so confused. I was even more confused when people used masculine pronouns. So, I said some off the wall comments because I was trying to convince myself I was not trans. I'm thankful that I have learned since then and accepted myself.

 

I used to have a friend who said a lot of homophobic things around me. I never joined in, but I didn't stop him. As it turns out, though, we are both part of the LGBT community now. How fun.

 

I am guilty,,, no more

 

I say a lot of things just to keep from dealing with speaking out about lots of things or don't say anything at all. Been around people long enough to know when it just isn't worth the effort to try and change their minds.

 

Good words Shorthaul.