i am curious how anybody would deal with someone who presents a lack of empathy for others and what they are dealing with or going through. I am dealing personally with this situation and was looking for other peoples perspective. What is the point of talking about things to people who themselves talk all about their live and struggles but when others talk about what is going on with them they simply dismiss it.
Someone who lacks the ability to care about experiences that exist outside of themselves is not someone to rely on for support. Sometimes what appears to be lack of empathy is a breakdown in communication. Only you can judge if this is the case. If you have tried talking about this directly with them only to meet failure, then that's probably an indicator that something isn't right. For people with a weakness for a certain form of communication such as text, using a form that they are strong in might help. If you rely on this person as part of your support network, it's probably a good idea to shift away from doing so in the future. A carefully chosen therapist is a great idea if you are isolated and don't have other friends. That's not a permanent solution but it will help to break any reliance on this person for something they can't give you. If they are truly narcissistic and toxic, then ending the relationship entirely might be the only way.
This is a relative of a someone I am in a relationship with and and i live with both of them. He is not a part of my support system nor do I need him to be. I just care and love the person i am now in a relationship with and I am not gonna turn my back on him because of a relative of his. He is harmless though emotionally distressed. Your basically walking on egg shells with him at times there is nothing that he won't be critical of. My boyfriend knows this and acknowledges his flaws and there is not much he can do about his behavior. He is the only one that can take care of him and fears the backlash if he throws him out which he is tempted to do at times. I respect his commitment and just trying to work solutions do deal with this problem.
That is a really difficult situation. What has worked best for me is having clear boundaries with consequences rather than trying to change the other person's mind. For example, I don't accept being spoken to in certain ways and if the other person starts trying to criticize me or bring me down I will leave and not engage with them. Eventually for me they have learned and for the most part stopped speaking to me that way if they want me around. Good luck.
I think not engaging with them is the best answer. If they are decent and respectful than fine I will engage. This is the kind of person who has tendency to turn everything into argument and a shouting match. Its a situation i choose to get involved so by making that choice i have to find ways to deal with it.
At some point I had to cut ties with one like that (my second wife). I kept coming back to her and she kept doing things that were not good to me. Now years later I see how good it was for me to get away from her. I lost everything I owned. But I gained so much more. If I had not I would not be with my wife and have my friends who I have now. I also have friends from high school and college that are still in my life. That in itself shows me that some whom I loved did not have the ability to love me back like I needed.
I've learned over the years I can't change people with a lack of empathy. When it's just me they lack empathy for, I see no point in changing their opinion on me, I don't owe them anything. If it's everyone in general that a person in question lacks empathy for, I assume it's part of some form of sociopathy or something else, and I especially have no power to change it. I'm not qualified to diagnose someone with a personality disorder, but for all practical purposes, sometimes I just have to consider the possibility that someone is a psychopath or a narcissist, and modify my behavior around them depending on the situation. First thing I do is withhold any information on what makes me tick or hurts my feelings. That's loaded ammo. It sounds like common sense, but it can be hard to put into practice. Of course some people are experts in how to upset people, and just naturally know the right things to say to upset someone. Cutting toxic people off tends to be the only solution. When I'm stuck with a person like that, I just try to ignore them, and maybe play along when I think it helps.
