Penis Size and Men and Idealized bodies!?

I think there is a culture of the "perfect" body being a symbol of attraction for both men and women. So, if you got it you flaunt it. Most of us don't have that level of perfection and it just doesn't matter. Both my wife and my boyfriend (this sounds so odd to say) are so attractive to me that sometimes it just seems almost improbable. Sure, they are both what would be considered "good looking" I suppose. But, not close to perfect specimens. They are just real people yet there is something about them both that tugs at me big time.

I think what makes them attractive is that they are comfortable in their looks. They just don't worry about it.

I have a lot of gay friends and family now. Many are coupled and they are not models. Just normal men and women. Yet, they found partners that find them attractive.

You will find someone. Those guys that are always looking in the mirror may be single for a reason. They may be so wrapped up in themselves that they cannot give to someone else and that makes them pretty unattractive when it comes down to it.

As far as size. I always find this so funny. We had a campfire chat about this one night with a group of my friends and we all agreed that size is so over-rated and laughed at the guys who post their dimensions on the apps. So. You may be getting a skewed view of the gay world from the apps.

 

My boyfriend jokes that he found me appealing because I didn’t announce or inquire about “stats” right away in the first moments of conversation. We found out when we found out, after our third date. All is a-ok lol. Hopefully there is more to my appeal to him than that!

 

You know what I find attractive? People who are comfortable in their own skin. It's the people who aren't worried about impressing anyone, and their presence and the way they treat others well shows that they are enjoying life. I see that, and I think, "I want some of that!".

 

Amen to that...I no longer can look at online pictures the bodies are impossibly ripped and yes size seems to be everything...what is the first question " how big is your penis "....who measures theirs!

 

Th

 

I think it's a social status thing honestly. A lot of women compete for who can find the boyfriend/husband with the most prestigious job or most money, and gay guys seem to compete for who can find the hookup/boyfriend/husband with the best body and biggest muscles/penis.

It seems like most of the ones who have all that and are still single are either single by choice because they have so many hookup options they don't want to settle down, or they're just such self-obsessed people anyone that does date them gets annoyed and leaves pretty fast.

 

Okay, so I'm still a virgin, as a gay man. And, I'm really thinking WHAT??? The smaller the better, as far as I'm concerned. If he can please himself without hurting me, YAY!!! I hope my first boyfriend has a tiny penis.

 

Me !

 

As with so many things in life, we need to take a balanced (and healthy) perspective. The overwhelming majority of guys fall in the average range when it comes to size, and that is somewhere between 5.5 - 6.5 inches... perfectly fine and good for a sexual relationship. Chasing after guys with bigger dicks will only lead to disappointment and disaffection and what does it really say about a person if they fetishize other guys in this way?

We should all know by now that social media pictures are edited and filtered to fuck and often tell lies. A simple shift in camera angle can sometimes be enough to change perspective concerning size and shape. I'd encourage people to get off social media if they want to feel more confident and spend the time focusing on meeting quality people irl.

 

I can understand your frustration. There is usually culture shock for men who come from a heteronormative background. Unfortunately, many gay men are overly focused on the physical. Accept it for what it is, and do your best to navigate around it. For example, maybe it's time to find a different social media site that's more supportive or take a break from social media. Now might be a good time to (re-)read The Velvet Rage for an explanation of the forces behind the focus on the physical.

While you feel frustrated today, you don't need to be discouraged about gay dating. The gay community is a confederation of many subcultures (for example, twinks, bears, newly out married men, etc.), and there are gay men out there who want a relationship with a genuine person with a dad bod. Now might be a good time to take a step back and re-evaluate your dating strategy. I've found that the key to gay dating is to figure out what you want and then figure out where guys like that hang out. For example, consider joining a support group for men from straight marriages or join a meetup focusing on an activity that you enjoy. I've also met BFs through hookup apps, so try and cast a wide net beyond traditional dating sites/apps. Be patient - it will take time to find a great match.


HTH

 

I was just having a penis size conversation with a hetro women. She say's penis size helps a lot. (but then there's method which is beyond the scope of my reply.)

For me personally a major thing I look for is, whats in the brain bucket.

 

They don't get in shape so they can attract a boyfriend, they get in shape so that they can srew around. They don't have a partner, because they don't want to commit to one man, they want many partners. Even if they do meet a guy they get along nicely with, they won't pursue a relationship with him because they will always be curious about what else is out there.

 

This is a complete over generalization! Clearly you have had some bad experiences to make such a blanket statement or your buying into media stereotypes.

That’s not to say what your suggestion is incorrect for a sub segment of the population; but I know many, myself included, who maintain a fit and healthy lifestyle because it’s important to stay healthy and take care of ourselves.

Of course there is some vanity, but that’s just one of numerous elements to why guys stay in shape.

 

I can't speak for everybody, but I am getting into shape because I want to find another life partner. I'm thinking it will be a man this time around (although I still have feelings for some women). I'm not really looking for hookups or anything (although I am anxious to have some gay experiences), but, much more so for me at this age, I would like to have romance in my life!!! I've lived without it for so long that its okay with me if the romantic relationships are not lasting, while I try to find Mr. Right.

 

It seems like life could be more difficult for the larger sized guys who are gay. I'm not even close to some of the guys in those videos, but I'm seven long and seven around (as I stated in another post, I'm still a virgin when comes to being gay) and I just don't think I could "accomodate" someone like myself. I fear possible rejection because of this.

 

None of us can do anything about our size, but I doubt you will be rejected for being on the larger side. If anything you should be more concerned about is being fetishized by size queens who are constantly on the lookout for big, bigger, biggest and wouldn't stop even if they met a guy with a tree trunk between his legs.

Larger than average guys can be "accommodated" with preparation and plenty of lube.

 

I'm not talking about every single man in the whole world who likes to keep in shape, I'm talking about these particular guys that the OP is asking about in his first post. He's under the impression that they are still single because they aren't "big" enough to attract a boyfriend, and I'm telling him they're not after a relationship, they want to shag a lot of different guys without having a relationship. I didn't even mention vanity.

 

Humble brag! If you’re a 7x7 top, bottom guys will be talking about you among their friends and in anonymous forums, and all in good way.

 

Everyone is different but as for me, I’m in the best shape of my life since meeting my partner. I was only so-so before. Would this help if I were single again and on the prowl at a shirtless gay bar, resort or cruise? Probably. But my motivation is more for the bonding & quality time he and I spend together at the gym (and in the kitchen which is an even bigger factor) than to look a certain way in general. Wellness is a huge priority fo us and a big side benefit is being attractive to each other.