I'm a 35 year old women who's married to a man for 16 years. Lately I've been questioning my sexuality again and I've come up with some interesting points. I'm attracted to women sexually and emotionally and can picture my life with one. I'm still attracted to men sexually and emotionally and can picture my life with the right guy. I personally feel like a I lean more to women now but I don't see myself giving up guys completely. If I get into a relationship with another woman I'd have to be honest about those feelings. My feelings for women at this point are way stronger. I dont like the label bisexual because to me it implies that I can be happy with either sex. Which isn't really true. What would you call yourself?
Personally I hate labels. I'm still coming to grips with myself, but I really dislike being characterized as this or that. I haven't had any experience yet with the male persuasion, but I can't actually see myself settling down with either sex. I'm not really sure why but I can't see myself in a LTR with really anyone. I've only had relationships with women, but always find myself more interested in males and I think some of it is because I just haven't had experience with any. So, perhaps it's more because of the mystery, the unknown. This may not help at all, but I get you.
My preferences shift back and forth over time, sometimes called a bi-cycle. I am happy to be called bi-sexual because I can cross gender boundaries and I am not fixed in my preferences. You don't have to be 50/50 to be bi. Some people report 80/20 or 30/70 and others also shift around like me.
It sounds like the classic definition of bisexual to me. But, labels are useful only as a starting point when you are describing your sexuality. For me I have the "potential" to desire both men and women sexually and I have the "potential" to desire both men and women romantically. I also have the "potential" to have only romantic and only sexual relationships with either or both or both at the same time. You may find that the grass is not greener in the other pasture and you may find you are blown away at how much greener it is. So, this is the crux for those of us bisexuals who only experience opposite sex relationships. We desire what we haven't experienced because the unknown can be so compelling. I am comfortable with the idea, after now experiencing same sex intimacy, that my marriage would have been very little different than it has been...it has been, for the most part, satisfying romantically, emotionally and physically. I wouldn't trade my life for any other path. But, this I wasn't really sure about for awhile. Butterfly. You sound a lot like I was about a year ago. I guess I was tired of my marriage and wanted to try the other track. Now, I've learned that what I have is really best for me. But, there was no way someone could have explained this to me in a way I would have understood without experiencing it. I wish it was possible for others to have a spouse who was confident enough to let them experience what they missed like my wife did. But, in retrospect, my marriage would have been jeopardized whether I did this or always wished I had. So, there really was not a choice. It may be the same for you.
