Answered Full Member Status

I think my application process was fairly quick (though it was a while back) and I am not sure what's the process to review applications but I do believe they read most if not all your posts (except the ones in fun & games I believe?) as well as wall messages etc... as I remember I got the full-membership status but there was a mention of something I had posted on a wall that I wasn't really supposed to.

That being said, since I have been a full-member I can't really say I have changed my way of using the forum nor used any of the functions really so you really aren't missing out on much.

 

I mean, really the only perk of Full Member is private messaging. If you have no intention of private messaging, just keep waiting, it'll happen. Of course, if you do have an intention of doing that then I understand.

 

I gave up trying to figure out the stages during mine. It was stuck at 1 for like a month, then skipped to 4 in one day, then went backwards to 3 somehow, and then back to 4 for like 2 more months before approval.

Like Chierro said, the only purpose for it is private messaging really (which seems broken in one way or another half the time anyways) so try not to stress too much about it.

 

It works at the moment, but there are seemingly persistent issues with PM's disappearing for random amounts of time (not deleted by staff, they just don't show up for like a week after being sent), notifications not showing up so you aren't aware that you got a PM, and sometimes you can see that you received a PM and can read the first sentence in the preview, but then you open it and there's nothing there - it's been delivered but isn't viewable to the recipient, only the sender.

 

I agree. Private message capability’s is what I want as well, and in fact probably the only thing I desire as a full member. I have a few more posts before I can even apply but reading all of the other posts about the cumbersome process sounds like being in a tunnel with no light in sight at the end. Lol. I also know I am currently a nobody on here but do think that their vetting process should be more transparent. And if you get a reprimand you should at least be able to discuss it with whomever made the decision rather than seeing “closed for discussion” or whatever it is. Sometimes things can be misinterpreted incorrectly by the observers/monitors or whatever they are called and having a chance to explain why one said what one did may clarify things and THEN a reprimand could given or not given. But just bam “you were a bad person, shame on you” and reprimand issues is not a good model to go on. Merely my two cents on the subject for all its worth which probably is nothing.

 

They will never automatically grant it .

EC is a bit archaic in the sense that it is trying to dissuade you to try and stay in touch with people outside of the platform.
As you can see, we aren't allowed to name dating sites or anything that could link us to the "real us", they are very concerned about keeping people safe and part of it is making it difficult for people to be able to bond deeper connection with people of the platform through messages unless you have been here a while and they "know" you are unlikely to be a threat.

I can understand it because obviously being gay isn't fully accepted worldwide and therefore the minors on EC are often more desperate to meet people like them and more at risk of grooming. But I also find it a little annoying and frustrating as I think people should be gauged to be able to use the internet safely & adequately and it would be simpler to just trust people and remove individuals that seem to abuse their privilege than making it such a hard process for everyone.

I don't think EC "business model" will remain sustainable for much longer unfortunately as FB groups now tend to provide similar resources with the bonus of being able to reach out to other people very easily.

 

You take it correctly. I had said something in a post that a moderator deemed inappropriate and I was reprimanded with no input or opportunity to explain what I said and that it was probably interpreted incorrectly. People are all different and therefore have different ways of expressing things in conversation and sometimes what is meant is not how it comes across to others not accustomed to your normal way of conversing. Seems like asking for clarification would be more reasonable than an instantaneous slap on the wrist with no communication at all before the slap. It’s very Orwellian and 1984ish. For the younger set, Lois Lowry and The Giver esque. That is just MY take on it though. I think this is an awesome site but it needs some refinement to enable it to not only continue to protect the younger members and those that don’t want to disclose personal information while enabling older members to communicate freely in private. Seems like simply enabling private profiles or blocking private messages based on age group might be a more reasonable compromise. Or allowing even full members to block private messages if they so desires. I know it’s a website and run by it’s ownwers as they see fit and deem appropriate but IF the whole principle behind it is to support lgbt people and enable them to find answers, why then would you prevent them from contacting someone they met on here offline or via another format when that may ultimately help the person more than random postings here. Again connectability on age may be more of a realistic option. For me personally, finding local friends would be awesome but the way things are on here you can’t find out anything about anyone. Again that is a plus to some and a detriment to others. This is only my opinion. I do appreciate the site though.

 

I’m not gonna comment too much in the process. I understand the frustrations guys, as I too am waiting. I have been waiting and today is the last day of my 9th week. I have shared my concerns before and have also shared them with the staff in the ask the staff section (definitely where I feel more comfortable discussing the details), which is why I am not really going to rehash it here. But a couple comments really stood out recently...

I totally get that feeling for sure... like wait what did I do? But I can honestly tell you I have never had an issue (like the kind you mentioned or just in general conversation in a thread) that I’ve reached out to the staff about and didn’t feel better after the conversation. They always have listened to my concerns and taken them into consideration. So for sure ask the staff about any issue and ask for clarifications on specifics. I’m all about boundaries and if I feel that they aren’t clearly outlined I’d say that...

The fact this is an anonymous online form is the reason I came honestly. I was still in the closet and the strict guidelines and the enforcement of them made me feel very safe. There have been hiccups (a couple things that were outside of EC control and my own but the staff was quick to help me get a handle on it) but keeping it this way continues to provide that safe space. Now I do understand wanting to develop deeper relationships with people we connect with here, but to keep everyone safe (since this is a site open to people as young 13) it is important to keep a close eye on what’s happening. Giving people access to private information does put you at some risk honestly no matter the age... So while I do get frustrated not being able to share some things with a few people on here, I think maintaining a safe environment for everyone to be able to come like I did when I had no where is more imprtant than having someone see my “headnovel” page hahahaha I’ve actually been dying to say that I’m always saying social media and it’s so boring so I’ve been trying to come up with other names and so far that’s my fav

 

I understand that but surely you only share what you want to share? You could easily remain anonymous by using the anonymous thread or simply using the platform like you already are? I agree with blocking private messages for minors (or under 16) but even though there is no direct hint as to who I am in real life, anyone who reads my post and knows me would be able to tell who I am, because I chose to give details in my posts that I know could out me, I don't really care if someone recognize me. I wouldn't start handing my adress over to people if the forum was less over the top safe.

But I can't see why private messaging is such a "premium feature" , sometimes you find people who are relatable to you who you would want to talk to and ask advice to or give advice to privately without having to post publically for the world to see, probably compromising your anonimity more than by just chatting privately. I think more people would get advice if private messaging was allowed as not everyone wants to share personal stories publically to answer a thread and have it linked to their account.

 

I totally understand what you’re saying. But the site is set up to be available for those under age. So they do have to monitor things closely as the subject matter can get mature at times and make sure that everyone who has access to the more private areas aren’t going to misuse it. Since this is a support site, that should be the primary focus (again just my opinion) and the anonymity is one of the reasons people feel safe opening up and reaching out for support. Even with it being that way people still post anonymously with certain topics so it is important to a lot of people.

I don’t disagree. There have been people who’s been here and no longer here I wish I could still have contact with, because we were close. But I wouldn’t want to risk the safety net for that... that’s just my opinion!

And I did only share what I wanted but unfortunately it was enough that someone was able to figure out it was me (in my real life) and some information I didn’t want out regarding abuse was emailed to people. The staff was great and removed it, but the damage was done. They helped me secure everything better. So I guess that’s why I kinda appreciate this part of the rules. I mean I’ve posted stuff since (including pictures) but I’ve been more mindful of what I’ve posted in regards to details and such... just my thoughts.

 

How do I know what the status of my application is?