1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Am I wrong to refuse to show my face on social media?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Joe2001, Jan 31, 2019.

  1. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    An FB friend has kept pressuring me in conversations to show my face. I don't use my face as my profile picture and earlier tonight, he was browbeating me into sending him a picture of my face.

    I don't like to use my face on any forum or social media for privacy reasons. It just makes me uncomfortable.

    Am I wrong to refuse this? This guy has been difficult before and I no longer feel at ease.
     
  2. Chiroptera

    Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,504
    Likes Received:
    1,383
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If you don't feel comfortable, then you don't need to do it. Just politely say that to the person, like "Hey, I understand what you are saying, but I just don't feel comfortable showing my face.".

    If the person doesn't respect that, then I don't think it is worth maintaining a conversation with that person. It's your face, your privacy, and that needs to be respected.
     
    Joe2001 and Bobsleigh1 like this.
  3. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I've done that. On previous occasions, he eventually let it go but really browbeated me into it tonight.

    I think that may be the last I'll see of him then.

    Thanks for your help.
     
    #3 Joe2001, Jan 31, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2019
  4. Chiroptera

    Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,504
    Likes Received:
    1,383
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    No problem! :slight_smile:

    If he keeps insisting on it, then he isn't respecting you, and it is worth considering if this conversation is worth it.
     
  5. Biguyjosh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2018
    Messages:
    523
    Likes Received:
    115
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    You're not wrong. Lots of people don't show their face for various reasons. Its no big deal.
     
  6. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First congratulate yourself on sticking to your values and boundaries. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting privacy and not wanting your face out there on social media. You are in the minority, as Facebook has tried its best to convince everyone that there's no need whatsoever for any privacy. (Mark Zuckerberg doesn't, however, believe this, as he bought all the houses around his house to have more privacy.) But privacy can be really important, and controlling, to the extent you can, how your images are used, and where they go, is a good plan.

    So... if someone simply can't respect your boundaries, that isn't someone you want as a friend.
     
    MilansMele and zuice like this.
  7. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First congratulate yourself on sticking to your values and boundaries. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting privacy and not wanting your face out there on social media. You are in the minority, as Facebook has tried its best to convince everyone that there's no need whatsoever for any privacy. (Mark Zuckerberg doesn't, however, believe this, as he bought all the houses around his house to have more privacy.) But privacy can be really important, and controlling, to the extent you can, how your images are used, and where they go, is a good plan.

    So... if someone simply can't respect your boundaries, that isn't someone you want as a friend.
     
    Totesgaybrah likes this.
  8. Totesgaybrah

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2016
    Messages:
    992
    Likes Received:
    151
    Location:
    CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I only have one social media account and I don’t show my face on there.
    I post pictures of nature mostly.

    There’s no reason for anyone to pressure you into showing your face and without more info this person sounds creepy.
    Good for you sticking up for yourself.
     
  9. Chierro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,059
    Likes Received:
    186
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Personally, I show my face on social media because I feel comfortable doing so. If you don't feel comfortable, don't do it.

    I will say, though, that the way I normally operate with seeing a guy's face is if I have any intention to meet him in real life (assuming I met him online), I will want to see his face before meeting. This normally applies to apps for me, of course, but it also can be applicable to social media.

    Obviously I don't know your friendship with this guy, but if you are interested in meeting this guy someday, I would recommend considering the idea, but ultimately if you're not comfortable doing so...don't. Make it perfectly clear to him how you feel about this and if he can't respect it, cut him loose. Friends respect boundaries not push them.
     
  10. Lee65

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    .
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    No
    I don't think so. No one has the right to pressure you into doing anything.
     
  11. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks to all for your advice.

    I am uncomfortable and from what people are saying, he isn't respecting what I want. Probably time to cut ties with him, but I feel as I have no other choice but to keep talking to him just because I don't really have friends in real life.
     
  12. cmplctd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    If your whole friendship was based on profile pictures (or lack thereof), it probably wasn't a very strong friendship. A good friend would respect your decision and privacy. I generally don't upload a photo of myself anywhere, and the photos that do exist are pretty old. And I've never had anyone ask me to add a real picture of myself.
     
  13. Lee65

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    .
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You're welcome, Joe.