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Anyone able to give advice about coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DevPerson, Jan 29, 2019.

  1. DevPerson

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    Hello,

    This is my first time on this forum and I was hoping to try and find some advice about coming out. So I am currently 15 and have believed that I might have been gay since June 2018. I have now finished questioning my sexuality a few weeks ago and believe that I am what I think I am.

    For a few days now I have been wondering if I should come out or not, I feel ready however when I finally get ready to tell someone, I just feel really nervous and decide to try and do it again tomorrow. Which then goes on a loop.

    I have a friend who is bisexual who I feel like I should maybe tell them first, as I believe that they would have an easier time understanding this. I also come from a family who I believe wouldn't mind if I was gay. Has anyone got any ideas on what I should do to overcome my nerves, and if it would be good for me to come out to my friend before my family?

    Thank you, any advice is highly appreciated.
     
  2. dano218

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    I think coming out to this friend at first might be a great idea as long you feel you can trust them and perhaps start coming out to more people after that. Even telling that one person can be a relief to get it off your shoulders as it was for me.
     
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  3. DevPerson

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    Thank you, I appreciate the advice.
     
  4. silverhalo

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    Hey. Welcome to EC. Coming out is such a personal thing that there really isn't one way to do it. If you speak to lots of people everyone will have a slightly different view on the best way to do it. That's not a bad thing, I'm not saying don't talk to people, just that you should talk to others and then decide what is best for you. The right way to come out for you is the way that feels best to you. Some people like to start with family and others friends, it sounds as though your bisexual friend would be a good place to start and it's good to have a feeling that your family will be ok with it. It doesn't mean it will be easy but it should make it smoother.
    It's perfectly natural to decide to do it and then back out when you get to the moment, try not to be too hard on yourself about it, you will get there. You just have to find your 5 seconds of inner bravery, it's in all of us.
     
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  5. DevPerson

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    Thank you for the kind welcome and your advice, I am finding that this is a very welcoming community. Thank you for your help and I am sure that soon I will be able to start coming out to my friends and family, I will probably just take it slow instead of trying to make everyone know straight away.

    Again thank you for the reply.
     
  6. Chaosbi

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    Like people said before, it's a personal issue and what feels right for me wont feel right for you. I've seen/read stories where people come out to only friends and wait to tell their families. I've seen some people that just post it on Facebook and leave it at that. I've also seen that some people make a youtube announcement. Really it's just how you feel and how you feel others will react.

    Personally, I had been dating both men and women and none of my friends or family had met them before because I wasn't ready to introduce them to whoever because I didn't know if it was serious or not. My friends met a few more of my exs because I was more willing to hang with my friends and my exs at the same time. My family, I didn't let them meet anyone until it was a little more serious (I think they met two of my ex-boyfriends at most!). They didn't know that I dated other women until I got serious with my current wife and I finally introduced them. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, my parents are really strict Catholics, and they were cool right off the bat. You'll be surprised at different people's reactions and since you said your parents are probably cool with it should, in my mind at least, make it easier.

    I wish you luck in however you go about it.
     
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  7. DevPerson

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    Thank you!
     
  8. DevPerson

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    Well, thank you to everyone who gave me advice, I came out to my friend today.
     
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  9. Mlpguy88

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    Congratulations. I hope it went well for you.
     
  10. DevPerson

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    Thank you, so far it has all gone well.