1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Any older single people here?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Wan2Luv, Jan 19, 2019.

  1. Wan2Luv

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2019
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    New York, NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I’m in my late 40’s and unlike many in this forum, I’m not married so I don’t have the challenge of navigating through this transition w a family. Seems that unmarried people on EC are younger so they’re at different stages if their lives, plus there’s a maturity gap. And a generational gap as homosexuality was viewed differently when I was younger, which might be a reason for holding me back. I’d love to connect w someone in a similar situation.
     
  2. out2019

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Messages:
    883
    Likes Received:
    737
    Location:
    us
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yes I am 49. Single and just accepting that I am gay...

    I may seem obvious now :slight_smile: but I was so unmotivated to even try to find a (female) partner when I was in denial, now with acceptance I am motivated before I was like 'dating, eh' now the thought of dating a guy... WOW!
     
    Brandy Bee likes this.
  3. Lgbtqpride

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2018
    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    65
    Location:
    Earth
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Do you have any lgbtq friend?
     
  4. eron

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2018
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    221
    Location:
    Utah
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    yes :slight_smile: single, bi but leaning more gay.
     
  5. hemcot4

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2018
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Centerville, GA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Not only move pass being lonely along with being truly single,
    Would love to even mingle.
    52 here as I would like a ton of friends and a lover,
    To smile/ chat/ adore/ laugh/ love/ enjoy/ confide/lean on and vice versa including to spend with every molding hour to gently hug as my arms will cover.
     
  6. out2019

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Messages:
    883
    Likes Received:
    737
    Location:
    us
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have one. She's the first person I am coming out to.
     
  7. redplanet1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2019
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Philippines
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    just about to hit my late 30s and i am slowly realizing and accepting my resigned fate to be single forever.

    however, i would love to meet new friends.
     
  8. Dionysios

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2018
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    576
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Don't give up on love. I personally think there is someone for everyone. But it takes time, effort and a bit of luck to find that special person. Making new friends (and keeping the old ones) will provide you a welcome social life. Nothing is worse than loneliness. I hope you make lots of friends. Perhaps, as you get to know people as friends, a spark will be kindled and romance will follow. Try to stay positive! There is someone out there for you! *smile*
     
    Tightrope and redplanet1 like this.
  9. redplanet1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2019
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Philippines
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people

    thank you :slight_smile:
    i haven't totally closed my doors. i left it ajar, with the slightest hope that someone may still come in. although, i'm not really expecting anything. i'll be fine either way, or at least i think i'll be fine.
     
    #9 redplanet1, Jan 20, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2019
    Chignecto and Dionysios like this.
  10. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well my body is middle age but my spirit is still a teen.
     
    #10 brainwashed, Jan 23, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2019
  11. PaulKM

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2019
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    York, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yes, just turned 46 and wondering if I will ever meet someone to love and who will love me. It is not easy at this stage at life, but then is it ever easy?? Loneliness is very crippling but I know I also have to make the most of those friends in my life who do care and support me, and leave behind those who judge me. Have hope!!
     
  12. whistle1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2018
    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I am 60 and have never been married. I've always dated woman, but have only become curious in recent years.
     
    eron and Tightrope like this.
  13. Tightrope

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    5,415
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Making new friends does get harder. Keeping the old ones presents challenges as people change. I still have a good number of long-term friends but some rapid changes for the worse in some of them caused the friendships to end. Those were some sad passages for me.

    This is a great attitude. Cherish the good friends and acquaintances who have your back. Negative friends aren't worth the trouble.

    I'm single. I much prefer to hang out and do things on my own than with people who bring me down. If the positive parts of a person don't override and surmount their negative parts, I don't keep them around. Of course, there may be no chemistry to begin with, even though everything looks good on paper, that there never was or will be any kind of friendship to work with. We have to accept that as well. In both directions.
     
    PaulKM likes this.
  14. bearheart

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2014
    Messages:
    211
    Likes Received:
    141
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm 53, going through a straight divorce (2 yrs in this so far) and still single. Had a lover/bf for few months but things didn't work as desired. Still friends and i'm trying to increase my friend circle.
     
  15. BMC77

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Messages:
    3,267
    Likes Received:
    107
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm in my late 40s, too. I'm unmarried (and, in fact, have never even had a single date--not even a casual date in high school with a girl to go to a dance or something). I've never had sex, either. Call me pessimistic, but it seems likely I'll stay single and a virgin for good.

    I had more optimism when I first joined EC in 2013...but that optimism has faded. I have practical problems in my life (like lousy cash flow) which makes attracting a decent boyfriend hard if not totally impossible. I could probably find a way of having sex, but I'm not comfortable with hookups.
     
  16. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    im 52 and Pansexual. I came out a couple years ago sexuality wise and april past as trans. im single but not, sounds strange but im in a Polyam relationship my boyfriend has another girlfriend, who is also trans. if you want to chat hit my wall up and i'll respond when I get back here.
     
  17. Ardee

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2017
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    34 years old here, forever single and having to accept that its most likely going to be this way forever. I just wish I could flip an off switch and not feel anything for anyone. (romantically) The older I get, the more intense the longing when there is someone interesting. Nothing ever eventuates though but bloody hell- its such a good feeling liking someone and having that hope of a reciprocal relationship.
     
  18. Sundara

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2017
    Messages:
    302
    Likes Received:
    90
    Location:
    Indonesia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Middle of 40's, married with woman, 2 kids, in Islamic country, but sure I want to be gay and I am gay. Even if I were single and find my right guy I wanna marry him.
    You are not alone and you are free to find someone the best for you. Good luck!
     
  19. Lgbtqpride

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2018
    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    65
    Location:
    Earth
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yes, we are not alone.
     
  20. Nickw

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2,335
    Likes Received:
    1,397
    Location:
    Out West
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Guys

    One thing I have learned since coming out to my wife and engaging in the gay community around me is that there are a LOT of single gay middle age men out there.

    I know this is not politically correct to suggest this. But, I have met a lot of great guys on the apps. No, I don't meet guys all the time for sex. Very rarely as a matter of fact.

    I chat, I meet for coffee or a beer, I go for a bike ride or a party. Most of these guys aren't looking, really, for a casual hookup. They are looking for the same things you are...something real.

    All I can say is "get out there". You have to risk the rejection and try if not being alone is what you desire. Keep looking and don't give up!
     
    Dionysios, Tightrope and smurf like this.