Hello, I will be 37 in a couple of months time and all i can feel is sadness and bitterness due to the fact my life has not worked out how i had planned and am just fed up with my boring existence. I am incredibly lonely and have no single male friends but what i really want is a monogamous committed relationship. I have never had a long term relationship and have given up now because i can't deal with the constant rejection and endless disappointments. I am not cut out for dating to be honest. I am lucky in the fact i have never experienced discrimination from straight society but i have found the LGBT 'community' the most unwelcoming and toxic environment for me personally. Ideally i would like to meet someone through everyday life as i am not i have no interest in gay specific places. Please don't suggest online dating because that is a waste of time and doesn't work. I am normally optimistic but i can't shake off this feeling that i will be single forever. Anyone else ever felt like this and just gave up because that was the best thing for their mental well-being?
I have. I came out to everyone at the age of 47. it's tough but not having a partner isn't the end of the world. I am not really looking for a partner myself. do you have a job and a place to live? food on the table? those are the bare essentials I guess. finding happiness in yourself is the key. do you have girl friends or a family that cares about you? Do you have male friends that are married? Have you ever thought of seeing a therapist to discuss any of these issues? The online dating scene is not my favorite either. if you want a monogamous relationship you've maybe got to get out of your comfort zone. I know that's tough though. You never know what's on the other side of fear until you try something different. so just hang in there and try out some new things that may get you out of your current rut. The only constant in life is change. challenge yourself and see what happens. Don't sit around and watch the world pass you by I guess. Try some new things, not just to try and find a relationship but in other aspects of your life. Get a Gym membership try out a new hobby. You never know if you may meet someone accidentally? If nothing comes of it you can at least know that you've tried. Just try and love yourself and find happiness. I wish you the best of luck buddy!
I can relate bar that I also feel like I cant go many places being in recovery and most of adult life feeling like it revolves around bars and clubs. It feels really tricky to meet new friends and people outside of partying, to me anyway since thats what ive always known. I’m not sure where you are based but actually theres meetup which I found really cool for meeting new people, theres lgbt specific ones and groups aimed around activity’s so maybe worth giving it a go. Nothing to loose, maybe some connections to gain.
If your schedule permits, perhaps you might want to volunteer with groups which match your interests. Loneliness can breed depression, which is what appears to have happened with you. Interacting with others at some charity event or with a social group might not only be enjoyable but may also lead to meeting new friends. I am sorry to hear that the LGBT community has not been supportive. Still, don't despair. You are still young and can have many happy years ahead if you. You have to make a positive change in your life. Doing nothing will not bring you any joy or contentment. If you need to talk, feel free to contact me or others here. Try to stay positive my friend! *smile*
Im based in Essex. Some of the LGBT groups have been closed down as not many people went. I don't find many of the LGBT meet up groups appealing because i am not into drinking or bars which a high proportion seem to be. London seems to offer more in terms of outdoor lifestyle meet up events.
Hi Have put myself down for some counselling so making a start and looking into some self help activities to help improve self esteem.
