Now, dont get me wrong, i absolutely love the thought of going on hormones, and now that my mom has said we are going to the doctor soonish to "start the journey" it excites me but also frightens me a bit. Some aspects of it i love, one of the biggest problems for me is my voice. Even though i have known i was transgender for half of my life, i am still having second thoughts like "what if you change your mind?" "this is a decision you are making for the rest of your life" "you cant go back" "what if you wont like your future self?" i have no idea where these are coming from, and im sort of worried about it. i know hormones would relieve a lot my dysphoria i have to deal with each and every single day, and even though i struggle, i am still having second thoughts and a bit of anxiety. did anyone else feel this way? and in turn, did going on hormones really make things better? any advice you can give is appreciated.
What if you try them and see how they make you feel? This is coming from a person with no experience in that area, but if you don't like them, then stop, but if you do, continue! (・ω・)b
Most people have doubts and anxiety and think about ''but what if I change my mind?''. If you have dysphoria, if the changes testosterone does will make you happy and if you know you are trans, just go for it. Every single trans person has experienced doubts about starting, but we wouldn't have gotten anywhere if we just stayed like we were because ''what if?'' ''What if?'' rarely ever happens when you have a high level of dysphoria and when the thought of hormones makes you smile inside. Just do what will make you happy and remember that, even in the small chances you're unhappy with it, you can just stop taking it.
good wording. it is true i wont really know if i will like it or not like it if i dont try. its just the doubts and worries that come with any life changing decision, i think. i guess i need to get over that cause i am pretty sure in the end it is going to be something that will make me happy. glad to know other people have doubts and i wasnt/am not some outlier
I don't want to take hormones, but I can tell you that what you are going through is completely normal. It's a life changing decision and anyone would have worries about it, no matter what they decide in the end.
Lots of people have doubts, particularly right before starting. Just like any other big life decision. It's very normal. At this point you've probably been thinking about it for quite a while and decided overall you'd like to go on them. It sounds to me like you overall want to go on them, but are worried how you will feel about it in the future. My attitude toward it was... I had wanted to start testosterone for so many years, and had spent a lot of time thinking about the things I really wanted, things I might not like as much, what it couldn't change, what would be permanent or not if I stopped. Overall I knew that it was right for me at the time. I knew being on testosterone would make me a lot happier, and I had done everything else I could reasonably do to help myself. So, even though I did have some similar doubting thoughts..... I just went for it. Knowing me, if I listened to them seriously I would be stuck in should-I-shouldn't-I limbo forever. I decided if those doubts did for some reason come true, I could always stop taking the hormones and deal with it as it came up. And... no regret or second thoughts at all so far. My first instinct was right, and the doubts were just from fear of such a big step. For me personally, 100% worth it. My mental health is ridiculously improved, I've started to get my life together and be able to move on from being so focused on being trans and my dysphoria all the time. It's not a fix-all, I still have issues and some dysphoria even two years on, and like any puberty some things take a suuuuuper long time to show any progress. But I would never have imagined being this happy with myself and my body two years ago or even a year ago.
I think that we all have doubts. It's a normal part of the process. Deciding to medically transition is a big step, so I think it would be more concerning if you did not have any doubts about it. The journey can be really scary and confusing at times. There will be times where you love what is happening and there will be times where you hate it. You just have to roll with the punches really.