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Anxiety About Sharing

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018.

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  1. Mia Mize

    Mia Mize
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    Today I dropped a class with a friend. For some reason I feel like I can open up to her. I have once before and it scared me. Today after we dropped the class we started to talk. For one I opened up because she asked me about myself. People never ask me about me even the one friend I have had since high school.I basically shared things I don't even say out loud. Things about mental health, my childhood and my family life. I never say anything about myself especially not my dark sides.

    Today I talked about so much. Now that I am alone, I have a lot of anxiety about it. That she really didn't care. That she might tell someone. That somehow my entire life will unravel because I had an hour long conversation exchanging bad parts of our lives. I'm shaking writing this and my mind is going a million miles a minute.

    What are things I can do to not be so terrified of sharing a personal story? What can I do to not be so scared that everyone wants something and no one is capable of caring about me?
    Even this post scares me.
     
    #1 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
  2. Alice89

    Alice89
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    I’m sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time with your anxiety at the moment. I know how hard it can be to open up to someone. You are lucky that you have a friend that is willing to listen to how you are truly feeling. If you ever need someone to talk to I would be happy to listen. :slight_smile:.
     
    #2 Alice89, Dec 5, 2018
  3. Mia Mize

    Mia Mize
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    Thank you so much. and the same for me if you ever need to talk. About ANYTHING!..
    But I have always had anxiety about sharing personal things. I find that I surround myself with narcissists and they never really ask me about me. That always hurt a bit but I was also happy I wasn't sharing my personal life with people I knew wouldn't stay around or who liked drama and couldn't keep anything to themselves. I have always been the person people like to talk to but I don't like to talk about me. Today I put a lot out there and rather than normal anxiety about being alone forever it's that M****a will repeat everything I say and people will find out things about me.
     
    #3 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
  4. Alice89

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    I know exactly how you feel. This is a safe place to talk openly in my experience. Everyone is so friendly and happy to help and talking on here is really the only true place I feel comfortable being myself. So how are you doing today?
     
    #4 Alice89, Dec 5, 2018
  5. Mia Mize

    Mia Mize
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    It was a good day actually. Good classes even that talk felt good even with the anxiety during and after. But now it's harder and I know on some level I am being silly, but a pretty good day other wise.

    How are you doing today?
     
    #5 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
  6. Alice89

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    That’s good to hear. And there is nothing silly about feeling anxious. Just try and concentrate on the good parts of the day.

    My day is ok feeling abit down but that’s probably just because I know that what I want just isn’t going to happen. I’m trying to concentrate on work
     
    #6 Alice89, Dec 5, 2018
  7. Mia Mize

    Mia Mize
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    I'm sorry that that is happening to you. is work helping?
     
    #7 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
  8. Alice89

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    Yeah it’s helping :slight_smile:. It’s nice and busy so lots to do before Christmas :evergreen_tree:
     
    #8 Alice89, Dec 5, 2018
  9. Mia Mize

    Mia Mize
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    Yeah, I get that. Are the holidays hard for you?
     
    #9 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
  10. Mia Mize

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    also may not respond for a few hours it's 4 AM where I am but will check back later.
     
    #10 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
  11. Alice89

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    Holidays are hard for me yeah. I find that when my family ask what I’d like for Christmas i always have to lie and not tell them what I’d really like. Plus my parents aren’t together anymore which can be hard to deal with. How about you? Wow you’re up early lol
     
    #11 Alice89, Dec 5, 2018
  12. silverhalo

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    I think it's totally natural to feel like this when you open up to someone in that way, especially when you are the kind of person that never opens up to anyone. Take some deep breaths and just try and keep busy to keep your mind occupied and prevent it from overthinking about the situation.
    I'm sure you chose wisely in opening up to her and hopefully she will keep the things you shared just between the 2 of you. If she shared things with you too then it's likely she will.
     
    #12 silverhalo, Dec 5, 2018
  13. Mia Mize

    Mia Mize
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    Not really up early more like not going to bed at a good time. And yeah my parents aren't together either. I am spending Christmas with my dad and step family for the first time in years. So excited to see my nephew. I love Christmas but it's different with me because I can stop and get lost in it.
     
    #13 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
  14. Mia Mize

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    And to SilverHalo Thanks the only thing is that she shared with me too but she doesn't really have a big issue with the whole sharing thing. We have similar issues but she has dealt with it better than I have and she is comfortable with all that stuff.
     
    #14 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2018
  15. Alice89

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    Haha you were still up at 4am? How? Lol. I love the excitement Christmas normally brings but this year I’m just not feeling it so much
     
    #15 Alice89, Dec 5, 2018
  16. silverhalo

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    We all deal with things differently, it doesn't make it better or worse, we all have unique personalities. I'm sure even though she doesn't share your difficulty in sharing she will still take care of your secrets.
     
    #16 silverhalo, Dec 5, 2018
  17. HM03

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    I used to have a very hard time opening up about anything. An depending on the person, I still do.

    While I'm still reserved to 90% of the people I interact with, I've found that after a couple of times of opening up it gets easier. I think I tend to handle things relatively well, and most of the things that upset me would upset most people, so my attitude is that y'all can judge as much as you want, but I'm getting stuff off my chest lol
     
    #17 HM03, Dec 5, 2018
  18. Mia Mize

    Mia Mize
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    Alice89 I tend to stay up all night and sleep most of the day. I remember how happy Christmas made me as a kid. Now it's got all these obligations and my abuelita and my mother are making a huge deal about me not being here only because it's my fathers house I'm going to. I hate that when it comes down to things that I have to be the adult.
     
    #18 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
  19. Alice89

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    My mum is like that she gets all funny about the fact that we are seeing my father in law on Christmas Day this year. What are you hoping for this year? Anything nice?
     
    #19 Alice89, Dec 5, 2018
  20. Mia Mize

    Mia Mize
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    silerhalo and HM03
    I just don't think I have ever opened up that much all at once is crazy to me. We talked for an hour and I have only ever told people one or two things in the course of weeks or even months. I'm not good at dealing with this stuff because neither of my parents understand mental illness and the things my mom says she doesn't even realize that I have the issues she calls "crazy". I know my dad deals with this stuff and he doesn't ever voice it out loud to himself much less anyone else. That's how I was taught to deal with stuff.
     
    #20 Mia Mize, Dec 5, 2018
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