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Really just looking for answers.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by whyamihere, Oct 2, 2018.

  1. whyamihere

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So, I’m not your average straight guy. No I’m not gay or bicurious or gender fluid, I have no question about myself being a straight man. I’m in my mid 20s, and it wasn’t until recently that I’ve had the strongest desire I’ve ever felt in my life to wear women’s clothing. I’ve always been attracted to skirts, I guess because growing up a boy, and knowing only girls are allowed to wear them made my morbid curiousity grow as I grew up. Now, I wear skirts and panties every chance I get in private, never been caught by anyone and I have no intentions of ever getting caught in the act of crossdressing. Not exactly what straight men do, but it seems like I’m just a straight dude who is a little bit seriously into crossdressing. With the Halloween season upon us, I was easily able to get my hands on some costume wigs to try on while crossdressing to make my reflection in the mirror look even more like a girl. And I’m not gonna lie, I’m really starting to like it more and more. Not so much that I wish that my reflection was real (that I was a woman instead of a man), but that I wish I could be ready to just go out looking like this and no one would think it’s such a big deal that an obvious man is walking around town in a blonde wig and socks right up to the hem of his pleated miniskirt. It sucks that I can only do this in private, and it sucks even more that I know for a fact that my loved ones will not accept it and judge me hard for it. I try to bring it up with my wife as a kink if I dressed up like a girl in the bedroom, but she said it would be really weird as she wouldn’t see me as the man I am. I secretly fantasized about putting on her wedding dress on our wedding night and it kept me aroused enough to keep me going the entire night. But enough about my sex life, sorry for grossing you out. I want to know what’s wrong with me, and what my options are. It’s exhausting doing this everyday, and if coming out isn’t an option, I would like to know what else I can or should do. Thank you so much.
     
  2. denouement

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Riften
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    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    From what you've said here.... sounds to me like you just enjoy some "women's" clothes. Nothing wrong with you. I have a friend like that; sometimes he wears skirts or a kilt. He's otherwise pretty unremarkable and wears t-shirt and jeans type casual clothes. As far as I know his fiancee doesn't mind, obviously our friend group doesn't mind, and he doesn't seem to care if he gets a couple second looks at the Starbucks.

    So... it seems to me your options are:
    1) complain about how stupid the gendered stereotypes about clothes are, and go back to pants, or
    2) talk further with your wife, let her know how you're feeling and see what she would think of your wearing a skirt sometimes around the house.

    It sounds to me like you're a bit stressed and unhappy about having to hide this preference... well, you're here, aren't you? And it's certainly understandable, it can be stressful to hide things like this. So my vote would be to talk with her and at least get it out in the open so you don't have to worry about hiding it.

    I think presenting it as a kink for the bedroom may not be entirely accurate-- since you said you'd like to go about your normal day in public dressed up. I assume that's not so you can be aroused all day, but because it's more comfy and you like how it looks from an aesthetic standpoint as well. It sounds to me like she's not attracted to you in a skirt, which is fair, but she might be open to you wearing one sometimes regardless. Worth a discussion? :slight_smile:
     
  3. whyamihere

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    T-shirt and jeans are pretty much my everyday work outfit. They say you know your life is pretty boring if you only wear work clothes and bed clothes, that’s pretty much me. If skirts (not kilts made for men, actual women’s skirts) one day become acceptable for men to wear in society I will never own a pair of pants again. But they’re not, and I actually recently had a really embarrassing encounter with a neighbor when he saw me wearing a skirt as I was walking to my car and I freaked out and immediately changed into basketball shorts that looked a little similar in color to the skirt I was just wearing. But I’m pretty sure he saw what I was wearing, but he never mentioned it and hopefully he forgot or didn’t notice. Long story short, I would certainly care if I get caught in a skirt by a random stranger. Society is still not at a point where it is acceptable enough, and the last thing I need is to be somewhere and have my picture unknowingly taken and before I know it, I’m the newest internet meme.

    Gendered stereotypes about clothes are stupid. Skirts were originally created for men and one day someone decided to make them girly and now they’re only for women.

    I feel like I’ve talked about it enough with her to the point right before she thinks I’m a total sissy. If I keep asking, or one day just do it in front of her, she will most likely have quite a few questions to ask, almost none of which I’m prepared to answer.

    It’s exhausting. I have a plastic bag that I keep my girly stuff in like wigs and clothes that I keep in my high school backpack in the trunk of my car that only opens with my one and only car key. My wife and I have alternate laundry days (one week she goes to the laundromat and does all of our laundry, the next week I will do all of our laundry) because we have busy work schedules, so when it’s my turn I’ll sneak what I have to wash into the machine and sneak it back in. It’s so tedious and really just dishonest at this point, with her and with myself. I guess I’m not ready to talk to her (or anyone) about it because I’m not ready to accept that this might just be who I am and maybe I should accept it or forget about it while I still have the chance. Who would have thought that talking about the clothes you want to wear on a regular basis would be such a life changing conversation?

    Well, if I get the same amount of attention in public that I get wearing jeans and a t-shirt as I would wearing a skirt then I would dress up in public all the time. It wouldn’t even be “dressing up”, it would just be me wearing my clothes so I’m not walking around naked like anyone else. It would definitely be a kinky turn on for me in the bedroom, probably not so much for her. Like I said, the day it’s announced that clothes no longer have a gender stereotype to them is the day I throw all of my pants to the side and make room for skirts in my closet. It’s not even so much that they’re comfy or that the look better to wear (both of which are true), it’s that if I could, I would. But as of now I can’t, so I don’t. At least not in front of people. I wouldn’t even know how to start that conversation with her so I haven’t even attempted it. I just keep hoping that one day I’ll have the guts to throw all of my girly stuff in the trash and never look back. Not exactly fair to me but it would be the cleanest way to go about it with almost no chance of anything going wrong in the long run.