I don't know if I'm gay but I don't want to be

Gay conversion therapy according to facts never works don’t do gay conversion therapy I hear a lot of bad stories of gay people who went to it and never turned out straight.I wish I could shut down the idea of me questioning my sexuality but the thoughts always come back every 5 min.no matter how much I wish I could take my own advice you don’t need to know your sexual orientation right now maybe you’ll find it out in the future

 

Hey I can totally understand where you are coming from. I think there are very few people out there who want to be gay but if you are there really isn't anything you can do to change it. Accepting that can be tough but I promise you that if it turns out that you are the happiness of true love and finding someone that makes you happy is well worth the pain and upset of accepting that you won't be straight and be with a guy. Can I ask how old you are? You don't have to tell me exactly but just an age bracket will do.

 

Do you have research data on this Chip because I think I read it was about 50/50 as in 50 percent is gay in the end and 50 percent bisexual. I can be wrong. If you don't have research data on this I will try to look up the data myself. Because 50 percent is not that many in my opinion. That's a lot of people being bisexual in the end.

 

I can understand that, sorry I wasn't saying that you were definitely gay just that if it turns out you are then it will be ok. My advice would be to try not to worry about it (easier said than done of course) just try and live life and have fun and if you fall for a girl great and if you fall for a guy that's great also.

 

You've had wise advice already but I just wanted to say that I'm with you on this. It's overwhelming having this thing that you never had to think about before but suddenly is a big deal and you realise you have no control over. I think sometimes we just have to trust, explore our feelings and see where they take us.

 

Hey friend! I read the title of your post and it hit home for me because that exact thought used to run through my head all the time when I was your age (you mentioned just starting high school).

Have you been raised religious by any chance? I was, and your feelings or being scared of being gay and wanting to look up ways to change remind me of how me and some of my other queer friends felt when we were trying to figure our sexuality out.

Please don't look up conversion therapy. It doesn't work and you're not going to change. It might take a little while yet for you to completely understand yourself, but don't be afraid of your feelings. I can't promise that everyone will accept and support you but there will certainly be people who will! There's nothing wrong with being gay or pan or bi or anything else. You are who you are and I wish you good luck with accepting yourself on your journey! It took me a long time too but it does get better! I'm rooting for you

 

I'm really glad you have LGBT family and in your religious community. That helps so much, especially if you have some adult LGBT role models that can help you navigate this. I never had anyone like that and I think it would have been incredibly helpful and reassuring.

Just remember, I know you might feel like society is telling you that it's not "normal" to be gay, but it is YOUR normal. All sexualities are equally valid

 

People are going to see you differently. That's not inherently bad. If you can reconcile yourself to stop worrying about how others perceive you, then the problem goes away. The only real issue is your worry about what other people think. And they are going to think whatever they want to think - you can neither do anything about it or even know about it. So, this really is all in your head anyway.

You should also begin changing your own mindset about your sexuality. Internalized homophobia causes you to think that straight = normal, and therefore gay is abnormal. What gets taken away by being gay? A marriage? Nope. A wedding? Nope. Having kids? Nope. Having a good job? Nope. Having great friends and family? Nope.

Once you fully accept yourself, you will no longer care what other people think of you.

 

Hello there.

I feel you. I've been actually doing a DIY conversion therapy for years. I've been repressing, denying, shaming myself for same-sex feelings, trying to become more involved with the opposite sex, dating men and having a relationship. None of it worked. All it did was to create more anxiety and shame.

Similar effects can be produced by conversion therapy by 'professionals'. They call the not-gay action and the forced straight act a success, but how is unhappiness a success is beyond me. However, because these people have more access to one's psyche they can inflict much more pain and shame and that can lead to self-harm and even suicide attempts.

I'm struggling to accept myself sometimes as well. It's not something I am bargaining in any seriousness, but it's hard to be happy about when you're surrounded by negative messages about it every day. But hey, we're not alone. And like every struggle, it will eventually pass.

 

I've attempted DIY conversion therapy and I can tell you it didn't change me and just made me feel worse.