its been a couple of years now that I've fantasizes about women. I've had dreams about women when I've had sex with them, kissed them, held hands and hugged them. I've been on dates with men but they never seem to work out. I've kissed and made out with them but no attraction. I do find men attractive. I even get shy around them. But I find women attractive too. I want to go on dates with women but I'm scared of what I find out. Is this normal, for a curious person? And and I lesbian or bi?
You sound bi. And everything you described is extremely normal sounding. It's totally cool to want to date women, be with them etc. Are you out to anyone? Have you tried to meet some women to make this happen for you?
Hey it's tough for anyone here to say whether you are lesbian or bi, it might be something you have to figure out over time. I know it's easy for me to say and not so easy to do but rather than focusing on the label and what that might be focus on what you know for sure and that's that you would like to try dating women, whether or not you like guys you can worry about at a later date.
Oh so normal. I won't try to repeat what @Love4Ever and @silverhalo said (they're always right ). I'll just address something that I sort of read between the lines. Namely the feeling that you have to decide what you "are" (my quotes, not yours) before, e.g., dating a girl. That feeling is also totally normal, but if you look at it critically there's not much there. Because you'd have to wait your whole life just to be sure your attractions don't (or do) change, and then it 's too late. Maybe another way to say this is you can't predict the future. But it sounds like you might enjoy dating a girl. Remember that most girls who are interested in girls have gone through just the sort of questioning that you are — or maybe some different kind of questioning. Anyway, if you just explain your position (be brave!) the good ones (right for you) will understand.
