Biting my tongue

Some people have a way with words, and others have not a way.

I stay away from most religious topics. Luckily there’s not very many here.

 

Definitely.
I’ll make comments in real life before arguing about religion with someone online.

 

I avoid all sorts of comments pretty much because I find the idea of arguing with people I don't even know exhausting. Sometimes you have to just step back and take a break...

 

I do think you should share your opinions. I think there’s no sense in denying that unfavorable opinions or truths exist simply because one party dislikes them. But I do think you have to accept that regardless of how you state your opinion, people may still take offense to it.

Even if you don’t intend it to or think it will offend people, it still might, and that’s not because they are over sensitive or easily offended or immature, it’s merely because they have different experiences and perspectives than you. Just as you wouldn’t blame yourself for offending them, you shouldn’t blame them for taking offense to your statement.

 

I don't have issues with most of the things on here, but there are some topics/discussions where all I can think is 'no wonder the world doesn't take the LGBT community seriously, we can't even decide things ourselves' and like you said those are the ones I just don't comment in or only make very small comments. If I say more than that it inevitably upsets someone and then I end up in a 10 post back and forth debate with them over it where nothing is further clarified.

 

I have a pretty dry and dark sense of humor and text does not convey sarcasm at all. You pretty much have to type out that the previous sentence was sarcasm in order to make it clear.

That being said I try and be tactful in most of my posts, as I accept most don't have as thick of skin as I. But yes there are some topics I avoid because my view of the topic is so completely different that trying to have a civil discussion is pretty much pointless. Life experience has more weight to me; than reading articles designed to support and reassure the way you think is right.

I have found on the mess that is facebook, I can quite easily post something that will upset both sides of any argument.

 

I hate arguments too. But I also fundamentally disagree with certain things I can't just can't seem to stop myself. I try to resist the urge but, sometimes I just can't. I guess I just feel sometimes if I stay silent then the person who maybe asked for advice won't be getting all sides of an issue and if I were that person I would want to know? I try to be polite but people often take offense anyway when you disagree with them.

 

I find this alarming.

I teach writing, including argumentative writing. For the record, argumentative writing is not what people think it is.
I first teach students to think about their audience and from there tone. Writing is incredibly difficult since it requires a tremendous amount of awareness. How does one come off? Most people don’t realize words have an impact. John Milton, for example, thought about this and played with it in his pamphlets in order to appeal to his audience. Threatening has different connotations than harmful. Same with this sentence: You threatened me in comparison to I feel threatened. It’s a simple analogy, but the differentiation of the subject changes the tone and can have lingering consequences. Psychologists teach “I” speak as opposed to “You” for example since it deflates tension and teaches accountability.
If something bothers me, I tend to turn inward and ask myself: why does this bother me? Of course, that’s me since they’re my emotions and only I am affected.

Lastly, conflict teaches growth and can enhance worldview.

 

I myself like to give my opinion regardless if it's disagreeing with someone, it's an opinion. I do sometimes get responses that I feel are just rude and cruel, if someone is being too outlandish I just skip over them and don't reply. I like to think I'm adult enough to handle negative responses, I also don't mind a disagreeing response and/or debating an opinion as long as the person on the other end is mature about the conversation. Not to mention this is a forum full of opinions and is technically kind of based upon opinions and it's anonymous.

 

Well it does happen to me but I usually don’t keep quiet.

 

If everyone’s opinions were the same, then wouldn’t that be boring? Maybe it’d be correct, but still boring.

Opinions are a person’s viewpoint. One they are completely entitled to, regardless as to whether someone else disagrees or gets offended by it.

I have a different political preference to PatrickUK, but never argued.

As long as it doesn’t become too heated or personal, then it should never be a problem.

 

Much of what I say is not popular. I don't have beliefs and opinions that are terribly predictable; there aren't nice, concise labels that can summarize and reduce my philosophy and outlook. You may find yourself nodding along to something I write in one thread and shaking your head in dismay in the next. If I concerned myself much with how popular my responses would be, I doubt I would post at all. I never hesitate to challenge a popular opinion, no matter how that challenge may be received. Now I study philosophy, which imparts a duty on me to question, challenge, and argue everything--no opinion is too sound or comforting to resist my scrutiny.

In all, I think an open forum would have a banal dullness to it if only popular opinions were reinforced and abetted (a "circle jerk", to put it crudely). I haven't been posting here much lately, but I am familiar with some of what you have posted here, BiGuy, especially as one of the few outspoken religious members. I would hope that you would not be averse to posting your opinion if you truly wanted to. It's your choice if you'd rather avoid an argument, but I would trust that our more mature members can differentiate between disagreement/criticism and hatred. Perhaps in the volatile climate of discourse we find ourselves in, people are more likely to internalize their opinions and those of others (and thus take a disagreement or a critique as a personal affront). So I can understand why you might not want to share your unpopular opinion, but no one learns anything if we only say what's safe.