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Confused

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Dodds, Mar 2, 2018.

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  1. Dodds

    Dodds
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    No i lack self confidence and self esteem I camt go it alone
     
    #181 Dodds, May 15, 2018
  2. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Have you always lacked self confidence?
     
    #182 silverhalo, May 16, 2018
  3. Dodds

    Dodds
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    I've never really thst confident
     
    #183 Dodds, May 16, 2018
  4. silverhalo

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    Would you like to be more confident?
     
    #184 silverhalo, May 17, 2018
  5. Dodds

    Dodds
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    Yeah In a way . I do let people take advantage of me others hsve said it. I allways used to over compensate my lack of confidence by acting silly in my group of friends just to make sure they liked me . During my 18 to 20s I was allways the 1 getting drunk dancing on tables and getting my boobs out as it made people laugh
     
    #185 Dodds, May 17, 2018
  6. confused04

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    Hi Dodds. I understand you feeling not strong enough, I do. I don't think my mother EVER felt "strong" enough, but waited until one kid graduated college, and the other was in high school. She did not do this consciously I don't believe, but I think it played a part sub-consciously.

    It did not help my dad deal, by waiting. It did not help me or my brother deal, by waiting.

    Not to mention, even if you came out, it doesn't mean you need to break up with your family. My mom lived with us for over a year before she moved out. Also, there are famillies on here that DO try and work things out, despite sexuality differences.

    What is your greatest fear if you came out? I am genuinely curious, as I can't even define MY greatest fear, despite having a mother who is a lesbian and basically "broke the mold" for the family if I ever did.
     
    #186 confused04, May 18, 2018
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  7. silverhalo

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    Do you have any close friends?
     
    #187 silverhalo, May 18, 2018
  8. Dodds

    Dodds
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    I'm scared of rejection worry people will judge me and i will lose family and friends. I would like to think I had close friends but sumtimes i dont feel i have
     
    #188 Dodds, May 20, 2018
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  9. silverhalo

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    Have you spoken to anyone in real life about how you are feeling?
     
    #189 silverhalo, May 20, 2018
  10. sparki

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    Been lurking not knowing what to say. Just want to say that you are not alone in your struggle. This is very scary as the world you know will never be the same even with acceptance. I engaged in self destructive behaviors when I was struggling with my sexuality and trying to conform to social norm. I am out to my husband, some family and my closest friends. I get to be me now. I don’t know how your husband will react to finding this out. This something you would want to discuss with a therapist and get advice on how to approach it. Also knowing what community resources are available and your legal rights is important.
     
    #190 sparki, May 20, 2018
  11. Dodds

    Dodds
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    Well done you it must be good to able to be you and live how u want to
     
    #191 Dodds, May 20, 2018
  12. sparki

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    Thank you, it is good. It is a step in the journey of life. There are other complications that arise. I am better able to handle things now. That doesn’t mean it is clear sailing. The storms of life can toss us about when we least expect it.

    You are very brave to share your story and I am glad you found a safe place to do so.
     
    #192 sparki, May 21, 2018
  13. Dodds

    Dodds
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    So the lady who I have feelings for wants to go out for tea on Thurs so be spending time 1 on 1 her outside off work .I'm really nervous I know there's nothing in it just 2 friends going for tea
     
    #193 Dodds, May 22, 2018
  14. silverhalo

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    Do you think this will make your feelings worse? I can understand how it would make you nervous. Does she know you like girls?
     
    #194 silverhalo, May 23, 2018
  15. Dodds

    Dodds
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    No she doesn't know . I'm not sure it will help going out wit her just me and her 1 on 1 but I so enjoy my time wot her
     
    #195 Dodds, May 23, 2018
  16. silverhalo

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    Is she someone you would consider talking to about the fact you like women?
     
    #196 silverhalo, May 23, 2018
  17. Dodds

    Dodds
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    No i worried she woukd treat me different
     
    #197 Dodds, May 23, 2018
  18. silverhalo

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    Is she homophobic? Doesn't she ever talk about LGBT topics?
     
    #198 silverhalo, May 23, 2018
  19. Dodds

    Dodds
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    No she's not shes quite open minded
     
    #199 Dodds, May 23, 2018
  20. silverhalo

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    Would you like to tell her? I mean not about being attracted to her but women generally? Are you out to anyone?
     
    #200 silverhalo, May 23, 2018
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