(##Detailed-ish##) I'm 15 (16 on March 15th) and since the age of 8-10(I'm unsure) I've been manually stimulating myself, although it has been from lying on my stomach and rubbing the palm of my hand on my penis. Whenever i try to masturbate the 'traditional' way I can last for hours but don't ejaculate. Its stressing me out and I would really like to 'learn' how to masturbate the traditional way as this is extremely embarrassing. I'm still a virgin so i'm not sure if i can ejaculate with that. The only reason I'am a virgin is because I'm too embarrassed to face it if i cant ejaculate, which i know sounds crazy but it is a real worry for me.Obviously I googled this and spent around 1-2 hours reading it, and none have answer. I've read that it is called delayed ejaculation, All of this started before me experimenting with drugs, so it cant be that. I really dread the idea of spending the rest of my life using this 'method', as it makes me feel like a freak of sorts. Any suggestions would be extremely appreciated, and i know my subject is extremely silly compared to some others that i have seen on here.
Hi, First, there's nothing remotely shameful about asking about this or talking about it, nor is it silly. Our sexual experiences are an important part of who we are, and our masturbatory experiences are an important part of our sexual experiences. The issue is absolutely resolvable, but it will likely take some time and practice. The first thing is you'll need to completely give up masturbating the way you have been. You've basically trained your body to respond only to stimulation by lying on your stomach, and the issue you're having is actually documented and relatively common among people who masturbate that way. The next thing is you'll probably want to avoid porn, and start taking time to engage in a more mindful masturbation practice. This could mean slowing down the stimulation, and allowing yourself to pay mindful attention to the sensation of touching yourself. It sounds sort of odd, but a lot of this is about retraining your mind and body. If you want more input on this, you can PM me and I can point you to some references and techniques and such. This is something that, with a bit of practice, you should be able to repattern fairly quickly.
@Chip - Perhaps you could post that specific advice in the forum as well? There's someone I know in real life who could use this specific advice. Or send to me in PM if you prefer, but there may be others out there who could use the advice.
Eventually, we'll probably make it an article, but the content is a little bit graphic, and rather on the edge for a nonprofit organization aiming for a PG-13 community, which is why I haven't posted it in the forums. I'll PM you.
Chip, could you please PM me the article as well? Thank you. Owen1999, You are absolutely normal and have nothing to be ashamed of. Every guy has a “way” that they masturbate, and these ways can change over time. It sounds like you simply started a particular way, and you can vary your methods over time. It’s not like you start one way and never change. It can be helpful to use a lubricant such as lotion or Vaseline for masturbation (but NOT sex, since these are not water-based lubricants that can be used with condoms). Using a lubricant, and wrapping your hand around your penis, may give you additional stimulation and shouldn’t irritate your skin. As a final note, “mindful” masturbation is all about enjoying the sensations and not rushing. Ejaculation certainly is a pleasurable thing, but imagine taking the journey as slowly as possible so you get to know your body along the way. When you learn what your body loves, your will be more able to please yourself and an eventual sexual partner. Good luck! Patrick
Since February I have been 'practising' and its paid off, I just had to get into the right mind frame Chip, if or when you create the article I would love to help people on it, so could you send me a PM when its up and running? Thanks again everybody I feel normal and have so much more confidence now!
