1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do I find the confidence to flirt?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Assassin'sKat, Feb 13, 2018.

  1. Assassin'sKat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2016
    Messages:
    645
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Your head, zombie.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I get crushes on girls and am too shy to do anything about it. I am afraid that if I act at all interested in them they will get uncomfortable because another girl likes them. Even if I know they're gay too, for some reason I am too shy to express that I am interested.
    How do I become more comfortable with at least sending signals?
     
  2. Confoozed

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2018
    Messages:
    265
    Likes Received:
    33
    Location:
    South Africa
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I understand you I'm the shyest person I know yet I am the biggest flirt online because it's just easier I guess...
     
  3. JaimeGaye

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2017
    Messages:
    481
    Likes Received:
    156
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Shyness is not an indication of your true nature but rather an inward fear of rejection.
    Realizing and accepting rejection is part of the game of love we all play will release your inhibitions.
     
    Confoozed likes this.
  4. Jackie Ray

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2017
    Messages:
    499
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    You could show your availability by sending passive signals. I like to preen and act pretty while make eye contact with my intended. Other members might say its degrading to yourself to batt your eyelashes and pout but if you are more shy and submissive it is a valid technique in my opinion.
     
  5. Humbly Me

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2017
    Messages:
    2,072
    Likes Received:
    311
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    If this is directed at me I would just like to say that the phrasing and your thought process around it is more demeaning than the action of trying to look appealing.
     
  6. Jackie Ray

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2017
    Messages:
    499
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I meant no offence and it wasnt specifically directed at you, but if the pump fits? Some of us aren't thuggish alpha jock's and we have trouble communicating availability. In my experience a cute smile, giggle or playfully bitten lip can go a long way to saying "Im available and I think you're cute". Being a bit of a tease never hurts, if words escape you.

    Whats so demeaning about posturing? Its no different than maybe you standing up straight and puffing out your chest when you see a cute guy. Im a shy, small, submissive and femme. Do I have self-esteem issues? Yeah maybe, but Im doing my best. If Assassin likes my suggestion she can take it, or not, Im just giving her one possible option.
     
  7. Humbly Me

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2017
    Messages:
    2,072
    Likes Received:
    311
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I did specifically list in my comment that making yourself look appealing is fine. Teasing etc... Im not a super macho dude, you would think I'm wimpy if you looked at me because my frame is so small and I don't have puffy muscles. Obviously I smile at people I like too, and try and project my interest and the ways you listed here are fine, I just think you need to address your personal issues with how you value yourself and how much you care about yourself.
     
    #7 Humbly Me, Feb 14, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2018