Gay couples holding hands

I know what you mean, I live in a small town so I never see gay couples. I went to the coast last week though and saw a couple walking towards the beach when I was leaving and I gave them a big smile which they returned, it was really nice.

 

I recently had a debate about this topic with some people on facebook. A friend of mine shared a video showing straight men holding hands in response to a homophobic incident:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1685460941758860

There were mixed reactions to the video. Some straight men said they wouldn't do it, simply because they don't like holding hands with men. Some straight men joked that they would go all the way. Some straight men said they would feel uncomfortable doing it, but would do so if it meant showing solidarity with people who felt threatened because of who they love. Sadly, the majority of replies from gay men were that they don't hold hands with their boyfriends in public, because of the risk of being laughed at, and physically and verbally attacked. It takes a lot of guts for men to hold hands in public, whatever their relationship is.

 

This is actually one of the reasons why my husband and I will show PDA when we are out and about. Not only do I love it, but I remember when I saw my first couple showing PDA. It was such a feeling of just joy and hope. I just remember knowing that is what I wanted and hoped I would achieve at some point.

 

It takes a lot for me to just wear my pride hat in public.
Hopefully some day I'll be comfortable enough to kiss another girl in public.

 

Yeah... I have to admit it's rather intimidating holding hands in public. I did not realize that until trying it. My boyfriend and I did it last week in the downtown area of the city as a confidence-building thing, and it quickly got uncomfortable. When we were just walking around like normal friends for a while, nobody seemed out of the ordinary at all. As soon as the holding hands started, within the span of about 10 minutes, around 30ish people had given us the awkward and disapproving "Oh... so that's what you're into huh...." type of look as they walked by, including double-takes.

Amazing how something as simple as touching a person's hand can draw the attention of so many people so quickly.

 

I forget what I take for granted! People here (Nova Scotia), at least in the city, wouldn't even notice a same-sex couple holding hands. Completely unremarkable.

I wonder what it's like these days in my hometown, which is on the Prairies, and historically at least, a much less queer-friendly place. I haven't been back in a while...

 

I know that this is idealistic, but love is love and the world is only a better place when people can show it, no matter who they are.

 

Interesting. Smallish city here in Ontario, and people most likely wouldn't be aggressive or outwardly angry, but you'd definitely get looks and comments.

 

I'm quite comfortable when any couple is willing to display their affection for one another by holding hands.
On the other hand I am quite the prude and always taken aback and somewhat affronted when any couple begins sloppy kissing, groping each other or trying to suck the fleas from their partner's ear in front of me...

 

You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a gay couple where I live so this isn't really an uncommon occurrence but it definitely still makes me smile. I've never understood the problem some people have with PDAs. Like the world is so full of affection that outward signs of it is a problem...

 

I think we're making progress with PDA's. There are still places/communities where it might not be safe for two men/women to hold hands or kiss, but we're edging in the right direction and I think we will see more of it as time moves on. I'm guessing the guys at Heathrow felt reasonably safe/secure holding hands in a bustling airport terminal, but if they were walking through a dimly lit underpass a greater sense of vulnerability might have kicked in... and rightly so.

We are making progress, but we still need to exercise caution in some places. I'd love to advise people to screw opinion and go for it regardless, but I know that's not sound advice because it could lead to people getting their heads kicked in. Sadly, we do need to evaluate our surroundings before moving in for a kiss or holding out our hands.

 

In the gay community I run in we have a serious lack of couples, most guys are promiscuous. Relationships are considered a lesbian thing. We have plenty of public displays of grab ass, but couples and PDA's are unusual.

 

I have held hands on a second date while walking in a park it was empty thou the park did enjoy it felt so nice and would say romantic. Its shame we can’t do it everywhere but society is some quarters is still homophobic and it’s not safe yet to go them places and hold hands.

 

Good to know. I think if you went outside Halifax there might be a big difference, but in the city it doesn't seem to be an issue, at least from what I've observed (haven't had a partner to try with yet). I saw a female couple holding hands on my way here (the library).

Picking a time and place is always a good idea; isolated, later at night...definitely need to be more discreet.

 

I think gay men are more likely to be attacked or made fun of for holding hands than lesbians. Straight women often kiss and hug and show affection towards each other and nobody bats an eye lid. But men do any of those things, whether they are gay or straight, and suddenly its a big deal to some people.

I think its because as boys we're told to "man up" which normally means not showing your weak and sensitive side. So if a man turns to another man for affection, it's seen as admitting that you're weaker and allowing another man to be stronger than you. People are more used to seeing guys trying to be tougher than one another. They don't realize that it takes a lot more guts to show affection with another man, than to put on the tough guy act so you can blend in with all the "normal" guys.

 

I gave it a shot once, holding hands with the girl I was dating while going for a walk in the park. It was a college town, so no one batted an eye, but I was hyperaware of it and never felt as comfortable with it as I wanted. Of course, the relationship was in somewhat of a downward spiral at the time, so that may have been part of it. I definitely am cheered by the sight of same-sex couples holding hands and such in public.

 

I feel like serious PDA's are too much for me to handle. To me they mean love and maturity, and honestly I'm not ready to get older. I love grab ass games and stolen kisses because to me it's like "we're the boys and we're here to have fun".

 

It really depends on where I am, but in general I really enjoy PDA - handholding, a kiss in public, etc. I've done it with several boyfriends and it's never been a problem.

 

There is such thing as too far. I'm okay with seeing people kiss, but making out and beyond is too much, no matter who the couple is. I don't want to see that.