No more gay people in gay clubs

I think it's less the number and more how they conduct themselves. Like, if it were up to me, she'd be tossed out just for being obnoxious.

Regarding your question... I don't know. Could have something to do with visibility, or social barriers falling down. In the past, where you could literally be thrown in jail for behaving a certain way, LGBT community was more tight knit and less accommodating to outsiders. Things could get pretty ugly, too. Think of the phrase "sleeping with the enemy".

It would have been unthinkable for large numbers of young people to call themselves "fluid" in the past, or be okay with no labels. Perhaps people are seeing that we aren't two opposing teams, but a part of a spectrum. Some of us can feel comfortable in multiple settings. Not that I can't sympathize. I think there is always going to be a chance for straight people to find their way in, and rude incidents have been experienced since the beginning.

 

You should've asked her "Why are you wasting your time chasing gay men? Will straight men have nothing to do with you?"

I know that sometimes straight women will go to gay bars just so that they can go out and have a good time without having to worry about being constantly hit on by men. As to why straight men are showing up, you got me. I'd think that most straight guys would want to avoid gay bars because they wouldn't want to be hit on by other men. But then again, like gravechild said, social barriers are gradually coming down with the younger generations and younger men these days are more comfortable with gay people then they were 10 or more years ago. Maybe we're seeing the beginnings of a less segregated social scene in regards to orientation.

 

Challenge or no challenge, she basically called your sexuality a lie, and I think you showed great restraint by simply laughing at it. I can see how it's annoying though, generally, just by statistics, someone is more likely to be straight than gay. So gay clubs are great because you can finally meet other lgbt folks, but if they're full of straight people you're a bit back to square one. Yet as you said it seems like discrimination to say no to straights. It generally doesn't bother me too much though, just so long as they accept a) you may get hit on, don't get offended about it. And, b) it's one thing to tag along with your lgbt friends, but don't come out of some perverse voyeurism.

 

I mean, one part of me doesn't see a problem with straight people going in general. Maybe someone gay wants to go but is terrified of going alone? And only has straight friends/family for support? In that case, it's whatever. But yeah, I can see how being dominated by straight people would become a huge issue. When it's 50% straight people, it's a problem. Gay people still have no real way to meet others, that was the whole point of these bars.

Also, disrespectful/homophobic straight people should be kicked out no matter what. I have seen groups for mental illness/rape survivors (not the same thing as being gay, but only example I can think of) and sometimes...people who are not affected were allowed to go as support for a family member. But if I went there and started victim blaming people, I would get in deep shit. Seriously, gay bars should handle it the same way.

 

Unfortunately, there are even some gay men who see as having had encounters with women as a notch in their belt. I think its stupid and harmful that men are defined by their sexual conquests. Gay bars should be places where we're shielded from that sort of bs. There have to be other places where classless people aren't so common.

See, now I'm feeling protective. Would she even care if she knew what you went through? Probably not. I'm sure she has her own skeletons that make her blind to the concerns of others. There's no way she could have known there would be men not interested in a gay bar. Maybe she figured you were straight. Maybe she did see you as a challenge. If she was drinking, it probably made her more pushy.

It's one thing to want to get away from creeps hitting on you, but when you turn around and do the same thing to another person... All I'm going to say is you've got issues if you take offense to a gay person rejecting you. Consider you just dodged a bullet.

 

I feel for you so much. I'm a lesbian and I get straight men doing the same thing in LGBT groups/meet ups, etc. It's so common too, like "Try my dick, I can turn you straight"....and I'm all NOPE.

I didn't realize how common it might be for gay men too, but I have heard of trashy straight women doing this at gay bars....guess it's just something we all have to experience :/

 

This makes me not wanna bartend at a gay bar anymore.

 

No but I have heard of this thing happening and "fag hags" trying to sleep with the bartender without even asking if they're straight or not.

 

The most ironic part about this....straight women complain about men "hitting on them in bars/clubs" yet they go to gay clubs to do the same exact thing they are complaining about.