Disclaimer: Facts skewed a bit to protect privacy. At the doctors office yesterday. The doctor was talking about a movie he had watched the past weekend to a technician. blah, blah, blah, the plot, blah, blah, the parents were "over bearing", towards their children......" Hum, the words, "over bearing", a little internet searching on my part. Reading top traits. YES thats it. My mom was OVER BEARING, basically destroying all her kids. She ran all her kids lives. She did not let them make their own decisions. You will choose this career path. On and on and on. Ya hoo, do a little dance, shake my butt, clap my hands, do a little dance! I love how info and thus understanding comes to me.
With reference to controlling dad. Oh bad news. When you get PM you will have to tell me about it if you want. On my side of the fence it was my mom who was controlling - over bearing. Could actually be mean at times. You should read Farm Boys by Will Fellows.
Protective is ok to a degree. But then parenting strategy should shift from protective to catch ya when you fall. Let the offspring be independent. Thanks for the reply.
My mom and I were/are subject to what I consider "long term emotional abuse" my little brother just got the belt for things like not being fast enough to the barn for chores. I was big enough to stop it, I heard it and I didn't do anything, and that makes me very sad now....He still tries to be verbal with me but I don't let him. His cancer has spread to his colon and liver...I don't know how I feel, I just know I'm not gonna cry for him, I did enough of that when I was young. Thinking of what my aunt said she felt when grandpa died, "the monster is dead" I am sure it was learned behavior. If I had come out to him I am sure I would have got the belt also...... Conflicted Dean