Low-key homophobic behaviour from my brother

So, lil' background information. I'm 18 and I've been out for about one and a half years. Nobody who matters has had a problem with it (to be precise, nobody has ever had a problem with it). I've always known my family wouldn't give shit even if I said I wanted to date the neighbours' car, they're the best people in the world and I guess I should consider myself lucky to have been raised by about the most accepting family I can imagine. Nobody else has ever minded either, be it classmates, teachers or the people I hang out with on the web for gaming, I've always had people say "that's cool, be whoever you wanna be".

The one I've had the most worries about, after coming out too, is my brother. He's 15 right now, and for guys that age it's quite common to use the term "gay" as a slur or make jokes on gay people and such. I actually came out to him (was already out to my ma at the time) when he made a joke on gays and I told him to say it to the face of a gay guy (pointing at me) or to shut the fuck up.
So he says he's got no problem with that, and I'm sure that, given the way he was raised, he knows there's nothing wrong with it, but his behaviour still bothers me. While my father simply went from asking whether I had my eye on any girl to asking whether I have my eye on any guy, my brother almost freaks out if I even mention anything beyond holding hands. He says even the idea of two guys kissing makes him wanna throw up. He doesn't want to hear a thing about it.

At the same time, though, he sometimes shows me pictures of women, y'know, actresses he thinks are hot and such, and he's like, do you think she looks good. And since I'm gay but not blind, I answer, yeah, looks good, or, no, looks ugly. And every time, I feel like he's thinking "thank god, there's still hope for you." I feel like his entire behaviour shows he wishes I'd say "surprise! I was joking!", and that really bothers me.

Like I said, he's never openly minded it, but this whole low-key lack of acceptance is really grating on my nerves. It's one of the things that make me more and more withdraw and isolate myself from him (mainly though because he's often as much of an asshole as teenagers that age can get, immature as fuck). I don't think he even realises how much he subtly degrades everything gay, and if I confronted him, he probably wouldn't think of him in any way homophobic, but I feel his behaviour makes it clear he's basically "don't ask, don't tell" turned into a person.

Like, couple months ago, I mentioned this one singer has a cute ass, and he was like "that's so disgusting, men can't have cute asses. Women have." That's pretty much his mindset summed up pretty good: men can't, women can. Men may stare at women's asses, men may not stare at guys' asses (totally disregarding the fact girls stare at guys' asses too).

So. End of rant.

Anybody know that situation or has had to deal with it before? It's not as big as a deal to actually intensely bother me, it's not keeping me up at night or so, I've built tons of self-esteem over the past year, to the point where I pretty much tell anybody I meet within a couple hours or days, and I actually have a pin-up guy as desktop wallpaper (plan on printing that out and sticking it to my door to keep my brother outta ma room, because he can't respect other people's privacy and knock). It's just a permanent, subtle bother.

See you. Or rather, read you. Or whatever.

P.S: About "subtly degrading" everything, he's like, if a musician wears eyeliner or any kind of make-up, he's like "eww, that's gay." Pink shoelaces? Eww, gay. Long and properly taken care of hair, lipstick, emo music? Totally gay. And always in a voice that might as well say, "eww, that's slimy" or "eww, that's mouldy".

 

Haven't been online in a long time...

I talked about this with my mother and apparently my brother also talked to her. She said he's aware of this and doesn't really like it himself... not much comfort, but at least he knows he's got some sort of problem with me being gay (or gay stuff in general).

For this and lots of other reasons, I'm building up barriers between him and me more and more. We're growing apart and I can almost watch the distance grow...

There's situations when, while we're arguing over something, he says things like "oh fuck", and sometimes I sarcastically reply "gladly" or "later" or "not with you, thanks". And he always puts lots of emphasis on "I'm not gay" then. It sounds like he's fucking judging me for being.

I can already see myself in ten years (if I don't just OD in the meantime), being the kind of guy who never talks to his family again... as if I didn't fuck up bad enough already.

 

Sounds like I chose some easily misunderstandable words there, so lemme clarify.

My mother said my brother talked to her and he said that he knows he's got some problems with the topic of homosexuality. So he is aware that he, for some reason, isn't really comfortable with me being so openly gay, and he doesn't really like that but also doesn't understand why he isn't comfortable with this topic.

My mother doesn't have any problems with that at all, nor does my father. Their only response when I came out was "sure, that's cool and we're not really surprised (as I'd never shown any interest in girls AT ALL). Come over here and let's hug."

As for the OD part - I'm on medication to treat my hypothyreosis (my thyroid isn't working properly) and I'm also depressed six ways to Sunday, so I'm occasionally tempted to just take the entire box (which equals about 2000mg, I'm on 75). I wrote about that issue in another thread.

As for talking... whenever we argue about something, it usually leads to nothing and I doubt he'd even get why I'm upset by this.

 

So I finally talked about it to him. Turns out he didn't get AT ALL why I find things like "with your looks you could have all the girls if you were straight" offensive. He was "just joking". When I first told him it pissed me off that he made dumb comments about me being gay, half a year ago or something, I thought I'd covered every dumb comment and that if he'd continue, it'd mean he obviously didn't care.

Now he was like "why didn't you just tell me, I was just joking" and didn't understand that in my opinion, I HAD already told him and that he was just provoking me. I tried to make it clear to him that every comment that clearly treats being gay different from being straight is annoying the crap out of me, and that I find it homophobic how he always treats the topic as if it were a disease, but I don't think he got it. He even asked if I wanted him to stop talking about it altogether because he thought I thought being gay was a disease.

This is so pointless. He won't get it anyway. I can't fucking wait to move out in three to four years.