I think I'm turning a corner?

Good morning, people...

Honestly, I didn't think I was drunk last night, but judging by how I feel this morning, I guess I must have been quite!

Anyhow..... I was soooo nervous to go meet these women. Like, I almost turned around and went home several times. But I made it. There were 8 of us. We started out with dinner at a Mexican place. I felt pretty at ease quite soon. I didn't think I was going bar hopping, but I found myself all swept up in everybody's enthusiasm. So, after dinner, we went to a lesbian bar for a drink, and after that to Stonewall. You might not know, but that is a very famous gay bar.

Honestly... at various points in the night, I was thinking, "how is this my life???" NYC, "the Village" on a Friday night with a group of gay women, after avoiding the hell out of gay women my whole life. And not just with them, but I'm one of them??!?! FREAKY.

OK, so throughout the evening, I was hitting it off particularly well with one of the ladies. J. But I swear to god, the whole time, I'm just thinking she seemed nice, and we had a lot in common -- very similar life story -- and I'd made a new friend. All OK. But, by the time we made it to Stonewall, she was flirting with me big time, and I could just see that she was so into me. Very weird feeling! But awesome. Soooooooo not used to this.

Anyway, everybody was teasing us that we were going to end up married, lol. It was funny. This group was hilarious, and they talked about EVERYTHING. They all asked me so many personal questions, and I don't know, but maybe because of my oversharing here, it felt fine to just spill it all out with them. But, I was definitely the newbie gay. Everyone there had had at least 1 girlfriend already. J broke up with her first girlfriend 6 weeks ago. They were all talking about sex, and how sex with men just doesn't compare, and once I have that experience, I'll never even look at a guy again, lol. I told them I already never looked at them before!

OK, so back to Stonewall... We were all on the dance floor as a group at first, but people kept on leaving one by one. And J kept NOT leaving. Even though others were going back to the area where she lives, etc. She was just kind of stuck next to me. Finally, the only one left besides us was the "facilitator" of the group. So it was the 3 of us dancing. And honestly, I don't know how it happened, but J and I kind of got some distance from the other lady, and just started making out on the dance floor. It was insane. Like completely crazy. So fascinating to be in a gay bar where all the couples making out were same-sex, and nobody gave a damn! We were at it for a loooooong time, when the other lady comes to find us to say goodbye. She was so pleased, it was hilarious. She said, "MY WORK IS DONE!" and took off. And J and I kept at it for quite a while longer. I was really lost in it for a long time, but finally my brain kicked in eventually, and I thought, "we have got to get out of here! What am I doing?!" So, I walked J out, and I hailed her a taxi and put her in it. PHEW.

And she texted me at 7:30am. LOL. Now what?!

 

Haha, you guys. So many questions!

I'm very attracted to her, but I have no idea if it was just that she was sooooo into me. God, I'm such a newbie. No idea what I'm doing. But now we are texting, and she obviously wants to see me again. There was so much chemistry, that I think I should see where it goes. She is rebounding from a year-long relationship, and I'm clueless, so who knows what will happen... I guess I kind of hope it will just be a physical thing with no pressure, but no idea if she will be OK with at least starting out that way. (OMG, I can't believe this is where my brain is at, because I *never* thought I'd be interested in sleeping with somebody I barely know. It took my ex and me MONTHS to get there.)

Was it different from my husband??? Hell yes! For one, kissing someone who is INTO IT is incredible. My ex was never into me like that. And I wasn't into him either. So, that shit was just terrible. This was epic. Really hot. Really exciting. Just really "right" and natural. OMG. After all the months of looking at straight women and wondering and pining... Such a revelation to just go at it with a woman as gay as I am. I feel like I will never look at a straight girl again.

L is DYING. All I told her is that one of the members of the support group was REALLY supportive. LOL. She can't wait to talk to me later and get all the details.

J is like 5' 2" or 5' 3", cute in a very normal way, quite feminine, curly brown hair, blue eyes, Jewish, 45 years old, mother of 2 boys aged 20 and 13. Lives like a 90 minute drive away. She was very curious to know if I had a car. LOL. I don't, but I use my brother's car whenever I want. My brother, the enabler. He is super excited, haha.

Now I have to teach for a few hours. With a headache. Joy... Talk to you guys more later.

 

Love you guys... What a world we live in, when a 44 year old grown-ass mom making out with another mom in a gay bar engenders so much interest and excitement among a bunch of strangers on the internet. I guess it is pretty wonderful!