1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My son told me he's gay last night!!

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by HeatherAnn, Jul 17, 2017.

  1. dylanbpool

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2017
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Blackpool, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm very pleased you took it so well, I kinda always knew i was gay before i even had a word for it aged about 8 i dreamt about other boys in school, i didn't come out to my family till years after i did to my friends so you must have a lot of trust from him, i kinda wish i had come out much earlier to my mum but she was very old fashioned about it and said when i told her at 25 years old "Dylan we don't talk about things like that" and that was all that was ever said about it.
     
  2. JaimeGaye

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2017
    Messages:
    481
    Likes Received:
    156
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think you can answer your own question just by looking at the topic headers in the support section of this forum.
    People leave their formative years facing an adult life filled with anxiety, lies and questioning.
    Frankly I feel adults that reject their children's questioning, refuse to accept their children's self awareness, force or coerce to alter their life choices to better suit the adult's parameters or desires for that child's future life, ALL of this falls into the realm of the Child Abuse that so many of the adult's claim they despise yet in actuality they themselves commit.
     
  3. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Kind of crashed this post but see below - I'll get back on track. There is significance for HeatherAnn. How, why? Because it creates understanding.

    Yup, agree 100% (and have been thinking this way for some time now)
    Yup, agree
    Now you've got me thinking. This is an interesting perspective. An OMG moment.
    Child abuse. Bingo. When reflecting on the things that happened to me, starting at age 14, I now use the term "child abuse" primarily by my mom. (I''v been saying this way before this post.) And lately I use the word neglect, but will not elaborate why I use that word here on this post.

    And you see this is what drew me to HeatherAnn's post. Because her post has allowed me to "reflect" on my 14-16 years of age. HeatherAnn showed me what an understanding mom is like. It allows me to compare HeatherAnn to my mom - it's easier to see differences between black and white, rather than lets say two shades of gray. (try describing to someone the difference between two shades of gray)

    This post and the ensuing dialog is the frosting on the cake. This post brings all my theories, my wonderings, together and makes said theories more valid.

    This post also gives me great comfort for it lets me know that "this 15 old" person is probably not going to have the same "unfulfilling" life I have had.
     
    #23 brainwashed, Sep 11, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2017
    FluffyLightFox likes this.
  4. JaimeGaye

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2017
    Messages:
    481
    Likes Received:
    156
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You were never alone
    Millions of homosexual people have gone through it.
    To think the simple act of two people of any gender and any orientation having sex causes so many people so much stress and anxiety simply amazes and baffles me.
     
  5. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Still crashing HeatherAnn's post. Hopefully she'll be delighted her post has caused so much activity.

    Agree 100%. I've actually put a little thought into this subject, same gender sex, lately. Why would someone be concerned? I have reasoned its "want" of control of others. And who loves to control others? Religion. Then there's the need to judge. And who loves to judge others? Religion. Then there's the lack of seeing another's point of view. And who / what creates restricted outward thinking - think out of the box? Religion.

    Disclaimer: Im not against religion, just those that preach intolerance - via control, judging , restricted thinking.
     
    #25 brainwashed, Sep 13, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2017
  6. molly1980

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2017
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Central Coast
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    @HeatherAnn, like you I was commended about the relationship I was with my son that he felt he could be open and honest .. and that you've love and accept your son regardless.

    That said, I honestly cried ... for weeks! In secret obviously, I did not want him to know any but love and acceptance!

    I was raised in the church, and while my parents are recently deceased; I can't help but wonder if they would have accepted my son.

    Now, my son told me about 7mos ago and hasn't told anyone else since, including his father (we are divorced), siblings, and therapist.

    I hope you, your son and family are all doing well, just know you're not alone with your fears
     
  7. frappuccno

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2017
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Sydney
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm very happy for him that he has such supportive parents. As the only son in my family (asian), it also kinda stress me out that I feel I have an obligation to have children for the sake of family. I'm 23 and I haven't come out, and not going to in the near future as well. I have to wait until I become successful so that I could come out to my parents which their reaction are likely negative. I am not sure how much time of my life I will waste, but your son will grow up being who he is and happy with that. As long as he could endure in high school, he will be doing just fine when he's in college. but also as parents, you should give extra attention to his feeling if he gives any sign of depression or anything that you think is harmful to him. Also try to be as close as possible to his friends and his teachers, and see what kind of friends and teachers he has. When I was in high school, my mom would befriend with my head teacher and other teachers so that they can watch out for me. I know you already thought of this but hopefully what i said could spread some positive feeling to u :slight_smile: oh since you are living in a very religious community, your son should watch out who will come out to for his safety.