1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. Enea

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2017
    Messages:
    61
    Likes Received:
    43
    Location:
    Italy
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Well, the victory I'm about to tell you it's not mine, but it made me smile and I think it's worth sharing :slight_smile:

    It start with a sad news: last week, on the italian beach, four men raped a female tourist and hurt her boyfriend. Then, not happy with what they have done, they went away and raped a trans woman prostitute. When the italian news reported all this, they pratically ignored the trans woman: they only mentioned about her being another victim of the group and then misgendered her without shame :rage:

    The victory is that it turned out that the trans woman is helping the police A LOT, to the point that thanks to her now they know the identity of at least one of the rapers so they will probably be able to catch them :sunglasses: oh, and in the article where they reported about her being helpful for the investigation they finally talked about her using the right gender pronouns and word endings
     
    Mihael and BrookeVL like this.
  2. AlexJames

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    1,139
    Likes Received:
    226
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I tried on my black tee and grey button up with my makeshift unsafe binder and i liked it! The makeshift binder obviously isn't safe and its not as slimming as i hoped but i think it helped some. Just from my decade old locker mirror in my room it looked good. DIdn't have a safe chance to look at iti n the bathroom mirror. Need to buy my own back of the door mirror so trying on clothes with binding methods is easier. I googled some hopefully safe methods and i'm gonna go shopping before work and see what i can find. If i can find something i can wear late at night in my room for an hour or two a night, i'll be happy with just that. I've wrote down ideas like sports bras, compression bras, neoprene trimmers, and mens/womens compression shirts. And of course my list of mens grooming/hygiene products. I figure if i just use them on my off days, i might be able to get away with it. Hopefully.
     
    Mihael and looking for me like this.
  3. Kodo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,830
    Likes Received:
    849
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Signed up for insurance, and will have it in a week or two. Have been seeing a therapist on campus who has been immensely helpful, that I can comfortably talk to. He referred me to the clinic in this city who treat trans people. So maybe, in a few weeks, I will be taking real steps towards getting on T.
     
  4. BreakinDaylight

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2015
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    44
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm allowed to wear the uniform made for guys for all of my performances now, I'm so freaking happy.
    At the beginning of the season I tried to ask coach about this but she didn't seem very open to the idea, but yesterday she surprised me by giving me my new uniform and giving a speech to everyone on the team about how they need to be respectful of me and also stand with me if people start being transphobic.
     
  5. AlexJames

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    1,139
    Likes Received:
    226
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I know this isn't much, but i'm so excited and i wanted to share this with someone! Today i wore one of my two men's department t-shirts and because i bought a tail comb i was trying to style my hair. Failed, but i did succeed in doing a bit of a side bang fringe with my dumb schoolgirl bangs, and with the beanie i have on i really liked the look! I really want to see it with my hair cut and a binder on and see what i think. But the feeling of contentness and feeling relaxed looking at myself in the bathroom mirror instead of tense and uneasy...its reassured me that whatever i end up deciding i am, this is something that despite the fear of getting disovered and rejected, i need to do.

    At a user's suggestion, i'm gonna buy a binder through amazon. Bought a fabric tape measure so did all the measurements so i can get the right size. Testing it by buying dvds and manga first though, then when i'm confident mom won't open my packages before i can get to them i'll order a binder. I'll have to order it when i get two days off in a row though just to be safe. Eitherways, i'm so excited! This just feels right to me and its one step closer to my current goal. All i want is to be able to look in the mirror at my reflection and recognize myself, and feel content and happy and proud and whatever you're supposed to feel instead of uneasy and ashamed and shy for no apparent reason whatsoever.
     
  6. Chef

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2014
    Messages:
    465
    Likes Received:
    78
    Location:
    canada
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    talked to my doctor yesterday and she said if i quit smoking she will start me on estrogen
     
    newts, Mihael, BrookeVL and 3 others like this.
  7. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    good thing to quit anyway, but small price to pay for what estrogen will bring you.
     
  8. Crisalide

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2016
    Messages:
    624
    Likes Received:
    339
    Location:
    Italy
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You'll kill two birds with one stone :slight_smile: Estrogen and better health after you quit smoking.
     
    Mihael and Enea like this.
  9. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    woke up this morning with dysphoria kicking my butt. i couldnt just hide at home today as we had an engagement in the city where my son was getting a scholarship for University from Pflag so what to do? i said F* it, and put on a bra, that took the edge off and we went and surprised him with a large scholarship. so that's 2 victories i beat my dysphoria by under dressing more than usual and my son had a hugh leg up in his education
     
    Crisalide, Mihael and Enea like this.
  10. Bernice

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2017
    Messages:
    234
    Likes Received:
    57
    Location:
    Gloucestershire
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Just out of curiosity how did you figure out your skin tone. It always bug me that with so many shades I don't know what to go for. I did earlier in the year get the courage to ask the girl in Debenhams. She checked for me and gave me a sample bottle of what she thought would be the right tone. But now I can't remember the make only that it was pure beige. However different makes are called different shades so I'm no better off. A shame as I saw Avon doing a foundation I wanted to try but not sure which to order.
     
  11. BrookeVL

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2016
    Messages:
    2,157
    Likes Received:
    293
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You can find lots of tests to "diagnose" it yourself on the internet. That's what I did, but I don't remember the specific one I used.

    Victory; I wore a sports bra all day. That's the first time I've ever worn one for anything more than running, and I must say they are comfy, and it definitely does make me feel better to at least be dressed properly underneath. Plus, I have some serious development (I'm a full on A cup, but probably getting close to a B), and they're impossible to hide without one.
     
    #4111 BrookeVL, Sep 2, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    looking for me and Bernice like this.
  12. Kat 5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2014
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Oregon, 50 State Disneyland
    I bought a shirt in girls sizing. Yea boi.
     
    BreakinDaylight and BrookeVL like this.
  13. Mihael

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    3,049
    Likes Received:
    704
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I had a boys' night out with a friend :wink:
     
    looking for me, Enea and BrookeVL like this.
  14. AlexJames

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    1,139
    Likes Received:
    226
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Still don't know what I am. I have yet another possibility to ponder now cause Brad replied to a thread and explained what trans-masculine was. The only progress i've made physically is taking the steps i need to take so that eventually i can buy a binder sometime this month. I got a mirror for my door and i ordered a few things i wanted/needed to order to test my mom's reaction to me getting packages. And to get her used to me ordering stuff. I already picked out the one i'm gonna order.

    Other than that, I've just been trying to push myself to be more like myself at work with the customers. Well i'm labeling it in my head as acting like a guy but it feels like me, like me without being so keyed up and anxious. Simple stupid shit like being more polite, helping them with their bags, and talking myself out of taking something too personally and getting upset and letting it ruin my day. I think no matter what i end up identifying as, these are good steps to take, good changes to be making.
     
    Crisalide, BreakinDaylight and Mihael like this.
  15. randomconnorcon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Liverpool, England
    Currently on my way to stay with a friend because I've got an appointment with a gender clinic tomorrow afternoon. :grin:
     
  16. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    got my son settled in university, and wore my bra all day today. felt so natural.
     
    Enea and Mihael like this.
  17. Chef

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2014
    Messages:
    465
    Likes Received:
    78
    Location:
    canada
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    day 4 back on spironolactine
     
    looking for me likes this.
  18. Crisalide

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2016
    Messages:
    624
    Likes Received:
    339
    Location:
    Italy
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    A friend (a girl) complains about "how guys behave" and how they should behave, and inserts me in the cathegory, slipping with the wrong (right) endings before two people I'm not out to (but I didn't care xD), just for one minute of «wat» weirdness.

    That's not exactly a victory (?) but it's a little comic and reminds me of this tale (copied here from internet because it's phrased well):
    "Once there was a disciple of a Greek philosopher who was commanded by his Master for three years to give money to everyone who insulted him. When this period of trial was over, the Master said to him: Now you can go to Athens and learn wisdom. When the disciple was entering Athens he met a certain wise man who sat at the gate insulting everybody who came and went. He also insulted the disciple who immediately burst out laughing. Why do you laugh when I insult you? said the wise man. Because, said the disciple, for three years I have been paying for this kind of thing and now you give it to me for nothing. Enter the city, said the wise man, it is all yours"
     
    Mihael likes this.
  19. BrookeVL

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2016
    Messages:
    2,157
    Likes Received:
    293
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It really does. The only thing I don't like is still having to wear a sports bra to keep them flat....but hey that's temporary right?
     
    looking for me likes this.
  20. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    well i dont have much to show yet, but it really helped.