If you talk about everything, I would hope that your crush on her would be at the very least an acceptable thing to confide in her.
Hmm, well I'll have a think and hopefully the others will have some ideas. I understand about not wanting to tell her so maybe for now the situation has to stay as is it. One thing to think about is that however you do it you risk being turned down - it just goes with the territory. It sounds like you already spend lot of time together so you can't really try and spend more time with her I'm guessing? And you've asked her if she is interested in anyone directly? It's the only way I can think of right now that you might be able to bring it up without having to tell her how you feel - but it's tricky because she would be justified in asking you the same. Sorry for being so unhelpful. I'll try and think your situation over.
@Barbatus You are very helpfull. Yea we spent much time together and I asked her many times if there is someone she likes. She said there isn't but she never asked me the same question. And she is just so confusing uhhh
Well at least you know it is unlikely she will ask you if you aren't ready to tell her. I know this is probably not what you were looking for given your post but would you let things stand as they are for now? Maybe until you feel comfortable/confident enough to tell her how you feel? You could try writing out a letter about how you feel, one addressed to her but not one you send - that might help you feel more certain of what you would say to her. Maybe help clarify things. Of course the other option would be to try and give up your feelings for her but would entail spending time apart from her - I don't know if that is an option for you or if her friendship is a big support for in which case it would not be. Just thought I'd mention it. Glad your finding EC and my comments helpful.
@Barbatus Well actually I want to wait till I begin transition. I think it's better this way anyway. I just wanna make sure she suspects something. I would really love to tell her but I just can't do it as a girl you know. That letter is not a bad idea, however I would just say that I love her, it's enough. And yea since she is my best friend avoiding her wouldn't be good idea. Yea it's complicated.
@DarkWhite Yeah, I get that. You want to tell her when you are are you rather than as you seem to people now. The letter idea was more to help clarify things in your mind or as an exercise to act a substitute for expressing your feelings to your friend. You know so you don't keep it bottled up. Perhaps for now it is best to leave things as they are and rely on your friend for support when you start transitioning? Then, once you've started that it might easier / you might feel more confident speaking to her?
@Barbatus Yea that's what I'm planning to do. I can't push it forward anyway. Also I guess the letter is a good idea when you think about it this way. Thanks for help
@DarkWhite Glad you feel like you've got a plan. I know it's not really changed the situation but hopefully it's maddest clearer for you what and how you are going to go about it. That's a really big step and can give you the confidence to know how you are going proceed. Glad it helped, and keep posting if you feel the need/find it helpful. Even if it's some time from now. All the best.