So I feel I've seen this problem all over this website but i still haven't seen a definite answer. My problem is i'm gay but I only like straight boys or closeted guys. You know who i'm talking about, the guy who's in to sports and is just "one of the guys." But the problem with this is that those boys aren't gay. And even if they were gay they would never come out because they fear they would lose their friends. Now I know that there are gay guys that act straight like this, but how are you supposed to get to know them and get together if they aren't openly gay. So i'm asking you for your help, how do i date a "straight" boy.
Coworkers/friends of mine never suspected a thing when I came out to them. I haven't lost a friend for coming out as gay. If anyone losses a friend for something simple like that they weren't your friend to begin with. I've recently gotten back into hockey for the playoffs (joining the bandwagon!). I also played badminton and was in my highschool swim team. I also love cars. If you've met me in person, I would fit into your categories of "passing as straight". I'm open about my sexuality but unless people ask, I don't say a lot about it. I don't think it's necessary for me to bring it up. I also think it is unnecessary to say masculine gays "act straight". They aren't acting, they're just being themselves and it just so happens that they are more masculine than others. So to answer your question, you don't date a "straight boy". I'm not sure where this mentality is coming from. You date someone because you like them not because of how flamboyant or masculine they are. It may be hard for masculine gays to find a partner, but the same could be said for a male who is unsure whether a girl is interested in him or not. In the end you just have to ask, and be prepared for a yes or a no. Also, why is it do you think that you are only interested in straight males or closeted gays?
You ask me why I'm only attracted to straight boys or closeted guys but that's a question that has no answer. That's the same as asking why I only like boys. Idk it's just who I am and there's no changing that. Someone might come along and change it but idk.
I get that you like stereotypically straight acting boys, you are attracted to sporty, manly boys, but there are gay men like that. Sure they may be less obvious at first and it might be that often they come out slightly older than the gay guys who have a hard time hiding it but they are out there. I wonder if maybe you are attracted to straight or closeted guys as you are only partially out yourself and perhaps even subconsciously you feel your attraction to them is safer as being with them wouldnt out you unwantedly.
You only like boys because you're gay. However, it's a totally different comparison with why you are exclusively attracted to straight males or closeted gays. Straight males have absolutely zero interest in gay dudes for obvious reasons, and closeted gays haven't come to terms with themselves yet. Would it be possible that you are only attracted to this group because you have not fully come to terms with your sexuality? Just a food for thought. In response to your comparison above, a better example would be why you are only attracted to a certain ethnicity. That definitely has no answer and is a matter of preference at that point. If you like masculine gay dudes that's cool too.
I knew a guy who told me that he was really confused at the fact that he liked me a lot since he is only interested in straight guys. This response confused me more so because I never knew a straight guy who would have sex with another guy unless he is in the closet and is struggling with the fact of being attracted to guys. Straight guys that I know are attracted to women and only women.
I get that straight guys don't date boys like yeah duh I know. I also know that masculine gay boys exist to but that's not the problem. The problem is how are you supposed to date a masculine gay if he doesn't tell you.
Well if he is completely in denial and in the closet then its going to be impossible. My advice would be to try online dating or find some LGBT groups in your area and meet up with people, make some friends and whilst they wont all be your type if you meet enough people eventually you will find what you are looking for.
I think I know what you mean. Like me, being curious, but not telling anyone. I live a straight life and I come from the military, etc... but how do you tell who those guys are when they are not really looking? I had a guy pretty much attack me while drunk - that was the wrong way to go about things for sure. I think you have to be pretty cautious and observe how "homophobic" they my be or how defensive about personal space they may be. You would certainly have to gain their trust first.
Maybe it's safer to fantasize about 'straight' and strictly closeted guys.. Because then you will never have to act on it: you won't have to ask them out, you dont have to be in a relationship. You won't have to deal with people's reactions about it. So I wonder... Are you just scared to take things further then thinking about it?
I know how you feel, I'm in a relatively similar situation myself. I have a preference for straight/ closeted guys as I don't want to be outed by an open gay guy, especially that I'm not ready for that. What I recommend for you is to try to hang out with some of the people you have your eye on, and look for subtle signs. Not the stereotypical ones like appearance, but subtle physical contact and making eye contact. You could also try to initiate something, i.e. accidentally brushing your hand against his. If he's unresponsive then you'll know that he's not worth your time. It sucks, I know, but it won't be easy. Hope this helps, and good luck!
I'm not scared of being outed because everyone already knows. I can't/won't join a dating app because I'm only 15. And I'm not going to initiate and contact or conversation with other guys because I'm almost certain there not about that.
Unless you initiate something, there's not much you can do about it, I'm afraid. Since you are already out, closeted guys who are potentially interested in you would be afraid to approach you, i.e. due to fear of being outed or rejection. You're also still at a young age, not everyone is as certain about their sexuality at this point, I know I wasn't. If you're not willing to start something then you will just have to wait for the moment. Someone is bound to show up some day. Take care.
I think this is good advice. Knowing that you are 15, things will most likely be confusing for a bit.
It's not that I'm confused about anything I simply don't understand how I'm supposed to date a boy like this when I can't find him if that makes sense.
Hiya I just came to pop in that there's actually some LGBT dating blogs you can check out. I can relate though it just sucks when straight people (especially girls) are so attractive and I'm like screams whyyyyyy. It'd be nice to date a straight person but it's impossible both because they're straight obviously and also it's like "forbidden fruit" like how @andimon mentioned. You can also try going to local LGBT things around your area.
As far as I know. I'm straight, obviously i am here because I hit a snag and I'm a little confused. Anyways, dude, honestly you have to ask the guys you are into. I have been asked countless times, I declined but man honesty is the best virtue my friend. They didn't kniw, how would they know, so they asked. They all took the no and proceeded. We all encounter the nos man. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Good luck bro.
This is some good advice but I don't think it'll work for who i'm into. I've liked him since like the beginning of the school year and mid winter I asked my friend who's sorta friends with this guy what his snapchat was so she gave it to me and I added him. But you know how on snapchat it'll tell you how someone added you. Well it told him that i added him by using his username, so he obviously knew I was talking about him and added him because I was into him. Somehow he knew who gave me the code and he texted her and was like "i'm not adding him back if he's trying to get with me" sooooooo yeahhhhh he never ended up adding me back and even today he still knows i'm obsessed with him because he told my other friend that he always catches me looking at him. BUT I LITERALLY CANT HELP IT.......... so yeah i'm in a little bit of a pickle. I know the one thing I need to do is get over him but i just can't.
Maybe you could try thinking of something about him that turns you off. That sometimes works for me when I have a crush.