Hey guys, Am I the only one that still gets that "oh shit I'm gay" moment even though I already know I'm gay and am fine with it. Like every once in a while I'll remember a crush Ive had on a girl or some other gay thing ive done and then I get super terrified because I realise I'm gay again. It's exactly the same feeling I had the first time I realised I might be gay about 3 years ago... Is there anyway to stop myself from having these moments and if not does any once else exeprice this? I'm just confused as to why this happens because I'm fully accepting of myself. These moments are really annoying because I end up thinking about them for the rest of the day and I loose focus in class and in social situations because I'm thinking about it. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Probably because heteronormativity is so prevalent in our society. You can accept yourself, but it'll always come up again and again where you feel outside the norm.
Yeah maybe, I don't know a single out gay person in real life. I really wish I did everything would be so much better cause I would have someone to talk to face to face. It's pretty isolating actually. However it's awesome to have technology so we can connect to others we can relate to all over the world.
I understand how you feel. I don't really have any close friends in real life, period, except for some class acquaintances. Pretty sure they'll all straight, all they talk about is their boyfriends and husbands.
Same I have friends but don't really have a connection with any of them. They are all super homophobic and spend the whole day talking about "hot" actors when I'd really like to talk about the actors girlfriend XD.
Oh, I find the "girl talk" of hot actors to just get annoying after a while. I feel sorry that you have to hear it and keep quiet about who you like. That's why I think my first response is accurate. You sometimes feel like you have to come out to everyone new you meet.
I agree with creativemind, it's the socially accepted norm that keeps tripping you up...but at least in the u.s it's becoming more and more accepted, at least in a lot of parts of the country. Then there's also a lot of people who may not support lgbt people but just don't care one way or another. When it comes to friends, I really only hang out with one person and he's friends with a lot of gay guys but isn't gay. He doesn't know i'm bi and if I was gonna come out to anyone, it'd be him.
Sadly I'm not in the US, I'm in a county where it's illegal to be gay so that's not helping my case. ---------- Post added 13th Jan 2017 at 12:17 AM ---------- But thank you for the advice hopefully I can find a friend who will accept me.
I get that feeling when I think of girls I've had a crush on, I think oh man I'm so gay but then I think oh but how do I know I've never acted on it further than a kiss and I think I also get afraid because my family wouldn't like it - they're old Skool, fortunately I do have people who could relate but I don't feel comfortable enough talking to them - the one person I could ... were not close friends anymore :/ I'm fine in myself with it - it's just other people- I've always been afraid of what they think. Ps. High five for being a lifter!!
Yup we are pretty much in exactly the same situation. I wish I had someone in school to tell about this stuff. I'm also scared about what my family will think but sometimes I get into this "I don't give a fuck" mood and I almost tell them. good thing I haven't actually acted on that because it would be a shit show!
I didn't feel like this when I was at skool I dated guys and was happy because it was all fresh and new back then , yeah I remember being in a pretend social media relationship with a girl I used to have a crush on and my parents thought it was real and flipped out and one chick who's older than me and in a gay relationship questioned it and I denied everything - I want to be able to talk to her about it but we're not that close and she knows my parents very well so I don't want things I discuss with her getting back to them. I know she wouldn't be surprised if I turned out gay though. At the moment I've been hanging out with this guy ... and all I see is friendship... I don't know if it's because I don't think he's right for me or because my head is clouded at the moment.
Yup yup! I spend so much time with my friend group which is made up of allies and other queer people that I forget that heterosexuality is actually the accepted "norm" of our society.
Yes, I definitely still get these moments despite the fact that the last 5 ish months I've finally stopped lying to myself about my sexuality. Sometimes I feel so relieved but other times I feel an actual, physical weight on my chest. It's like I'm panicked. I've been trying to figure out why that is bedause I'm glad I no longer have this expectation on myself to find a guy. It can happen very suddenly; everything is normal then - BAM - there's that weight again. It's a very difficult process. I wonder if it ever fully goes away. I hope so.
Yeah same here, when I remember that I'm gay and I'm going to have to come out (particularly to my parents) my heart rate increases and I feel like I'm going to pass out. I've known for probably 2 years now and it's killing me. I just want to come out but at the same time I can't! I hope things get better for you.
I understand it .I too live in a not-so-gay-friendly country.Sometimes i wonder ,how my parents would react to "Mom,you are more likely to get a daughter-in-law than a son-in-law".I want to tell them but i can't and every time I stare at a girl and realize that i am not straight.I feel like an alien.
I know how you feel about being in a country where being gay isn't accepted. I get major crushes on girls and every time my mom asks me if i've got any crushes on guys I just internally cringe. I'm always the girl saying I never want to date or get married but in fact I do just not with a guy and I know that wont go down well at all.
