I'm still very hesitant about going out in public presenting female. Even waking outside in the daylight is like nope nope nope get back inside. I don't want to "out myself" and I also don't want to endanger myself if some hater picks up on me being trans. That having been said I'm feeling kind of suffocated that I can't present as myself when I want to, and that I have to shed what I'm currently wearing for something expected of me when I go out. What to do? I'm sure many of you can relate.
It's a lot more difficult during the summer (hot weather in general) for me for some reason. In the winter (colder weather), I can just throw on a hoodie and feel fine with everything else, not to mention I love hoodies (so plus). But, going out in general just depends on how I think I look, which is not good most of the time considering I'm pretty hard on myself a lot. I can't speak for every place and everyone, but I haven't had any run ins with anyone in public over it. People stare (probably also because I wear a lot of black), but that's about it. But yeah, the more you think you pass, the easier it'll probably be.
That's the tough part is passing. Which I'm already androgynous so that helps, but I'm also taller than most women, and like you said during summertime it's weird to wear something like a hoodie. So I still feel like I'm drawing too much attention to myself. Also my voice. I haven't quite gotten to the point where I pass in terms of that, so interacting with anyone is just a nightmare for me.
I'm always out in public. So I can't really relate to those who aren't beyond sympathy. Although I do know what it takes for some trans girls to go out in public. And that is being true to oneself at the expense of harassment.
She sympathizes to people who aren't able to go out in public as themselves even though she can't relate. It's a positive thing. I think it would be really nice to go out with friends and just blend in with them. Other than that, it's androgynous/tomboy mode for me.
You are correct. And yes, going out with friends adds to one's confidence about being accepted in public.
I guess I don't understand then. How can you not relate to another trans person if you are trans? Who can relate better? Cis gendered people?
My experience being trans is not the same as yours. I can be sympathetic to those in the closet but I live out in the open so I don't relate in that regard. To put it another way. I'm white. When people ask me, what kind of music do you listen to I ask them to guess. What answer do I get? Classic, country or rock. It is an assumption that since I'm white I listen to those music selections. Actually I grew up listening to rap. I couldn't tell you the name of half of the rock bands out there or what the latest country hit was. It is a small example but the point is I don't have the same experience as being trans as other people do. I don't know what it's like to fear being out in public. I can sympathize. I don't empathize because I have no experience in that. Please tell me you finally get what I am saying. I don't see how it was so hard.
So you've always been out as trans? There was a never a time in your life where people didn't know and it wasn't a secret? You've never had to come out to anyone because everyone already knew and you've always gone everywhere presenting female? Also back off with the shitty attitude. If you respond to me like that again we're going to have a problem.
xD sorry but this hit me in the ribs as hilarious... now that I'm on hrt I totally feel the same way.
For me it all depends. Sometimes the outfit feels right and I feel really confident and other times I just give up and present more masculine. That said I never feel good presenting masculine I just know nobody will notice me so I can at least be uncomfortable in peace.
I go out with other girls or my wife, like today we toured a little town eat lunch outside, and even went clothes shopping. As we were leaving the assistant said by ladies come again. Felt great to hear that, and I thought I wasn't passing well enough today