I posted on another thread that I wasn't sure whether I had ever been truly in love with my (opposite-sex) partner. I know you'll say if have to ask, then I wasn't in love, but I'm questioning everything at the moment, so please humour me. Also, does the 'spark' go for everyone? Maybe that's just what we're going through.
I sure wish I knew the answer to this. I feel like I fall for people easily, and give it my all, yet I don't get anywhere. Do I love too easily? Do I not know what love feels like? I have no clue.
Glad I'm not the only one who's unsure. I have the opposite feeling, like I hold back too much. (*hug*)
I fall in love too easily too, it can be a real pain in the behind! I have no idea how to explain how it feels though, NotMyName, I mean aside from the obvious that you probably already know. Butterflies in the stomach when you think of them, thinking about them all the time and doing anything to spend more time with them. This is actually technically infatuation and not love, but most people seem to refer to that when talking about falling in love (I do too). Real love takes time to build and feels totally different, it is also a much more stable feeling than infatuation (which feels like you are going crazy). Love is the feeling that that person is more important to you than you are, that you would do anything for them, that they are as much a part of you as the rest of you are. You can love friends and family like that too, also partners you are not sexually attracted to, but I suspect it is much deeper when you have found a partner that really is right for you. (I wouldn't know, I'm single! lol) As for the spark thing, I have been crushing on my best friend for a couple of years and it is only getting worse now that I realized I am gay, so the spark is just getting stronger. But I think it probably does go away quite a bit after the honeymoon phase when you are seeing someone, otherwise everyone would be walking around with their head in the clouds all day and no one would get anything done. :lol:
Thank you, HappyGirlLucky. As you say, I sort of knew all those things, but it is helpful to see them written down. I haven't felt all of them for my partner, which I kind of knew, and am not proud of. Is your best friend interested in women?
Oooh how I wish she were! :lol: She is straight and in a relationship, but try telling that to my stubborn heart. I just try my best to act normal around her, because I don't want to ruin our friendship with stupid feelings, but sometimes it is difficult not to get lost in her eyes...
Thanks!! (*hug*) I don't know, part of me thinks she must have because the way I feel with her feels like it must look super obvious. She hasn't said anything though, and if anything we are closer than ever, but I think that has more to do with me being more open about other things because I feel more confident now that I feel like myself.
If you've been crushing on her for a couple years, your behavior around her is probably consistent, so she might not of noticed. Like I said, must be really hard for you though. Was she surprised when you came out?
Well, since coming out to myself it has gotten a lot more intense, because I can't deny what I feel for her anymore. My behavior has certainly changed, but so has hers. Like when we were hanging out last week she said she didn't want me to go home and said she felt like paying for my train ticket so I could stay the night (we live in different cities atm), and then we spent a full minute hugging at the train station before I had to run off so I wouldn't miss the train. So she is acting weird too, but I have heard way too many straight-girl-acts-weird stories than end horribly to read into it. :eusa_doh: Besides, I would never do anything with her while she is in a relationship even if she were bi and into me in that way. Oh, and she was not surprised but I'm not sure she suspected it either. She is super open-minded and awesome and doesn't care at all whether someone is gay. I will stop jacking your thread now, this was supposed to be about you not my stupid crush! Sorry! :lol:
Oh, I see. That must be very confusing for you! Don't worry about the thread. I'm not precious about it.
Do you know the feeling when you get home after long time away? For me real love feels like "I'm home!!"
Shit. That is exactly how I felt about the chick I fell for. Second time meeting her, I remember saying to myself, "She feels like home." I dunno. I love my husband in a much different way. I think a woman for me, would be very different. With a woman, I get lost in the emotional connection aspect of it. I also don't think I've experienced true intimacy with a man. So, that's confusing for me. My therapist says that I picked someone very safe in my husband. He was a my safe and steady choice. It's very confusing for me, sorry. I just know it's very different, what I feel for a woman. Or it could just be the "crush" talking. Or a glimpse of something more: True intimacy.
I can understand the home reference. I've thought that. it's just strange for me, because I don't fall in love very easily and I haven't been in a relationship that was beyond a FWB for years. She does feel like home. I like that. We talk and we plan for our individual futures, but we think about each other when we do that. There is just such a "we" that makes me know that she is definitely going to be in my life for a long, long time. And...it feels easy, uncomplicated. I guess my feeling is that this is exactly how it's supposed to feel, if that makes any sense.
Trust me, you don't wanna fall in love. I've experienced it twice and it's always ugly when you fall from the clouds.
this.... but all the emotions that were attatched that i thought was "love" that i thought were 'real' i have to keep telling myself it was all bullshit...so...now i ask myself wtf IS love if all these false feelings never was...and then u get to the point to where ur done trying and u close ur heart off completely..sux...
I look forward to reading the replies to this with interest. I've never had the butterflies thing or any infatuation. Sometimes i feel as if I'm incapable of love
At first I didn't know I was in love, I thought of it as a very intense friendship. People, however, commented and joked about how I was talking about her all the freaking time, especially when I just met her. But anyways, being in love feels so light, like life becomes so easy and fluffy. Love is a very powerfull feeling. I could handle critical responses to my work, I could handle people being rude to me, because all I needed was her. As long she was happy, I was happy. I would go all the way for her, doing things that I would've never done for anyone else, just for getting her attention and receiving compliments. She could make me feel better about myself, if I was down. Not only by her words, but just by her being there for me. The person you love, is like that ''special'' person, the person you make exceptions for. The person you makes you smile and getting a rush in your chest just by sending you a heart emoticon via whatsapp. At first you can be literally blinded by love: You see them as the perfection itself. When you eventually see their little flaws, but still care for them, still wanting to go all the way for them, well then your screwed. You can literally watch them for hours upon hours. At their little details, their posture, the way they say things. And lastly, they feel like home.