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Scared of never finding someone?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Ameryllis, Jul 10, 2016.

  1. Ameryllis

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    Was/or is anyone currently terrified at the thought of never finding anyone? I'm always a little scared of ending up alone, single and lonely when I'm older.

    I don't want to be one of those people that lives alone in a house full of 38 cats and a couple of chatty parrots to keep them company.
     
  2. Andrew99

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    I feel this way. I sometimes worry that I'll never find Mr. Right. But don't worry I'm sure there is someone out there for the both of us. :slight_smile:
     
  3. kibou97

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    I feel like everyone probably goes through something similar to this, all you can do is try to be the best you that you can be and hope that you finally come across someone.
     
  4. ThatBorussenGuy

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    Nope. I have absolutely no interest in dating, marriage, or really any kind of a relationship. The idea has never appealed to me at all.
     
  5. peterw78165

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    ^^ This. I couldn't have said it any better.
     
    #5 peterw78165, Jul 11, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2016
  6. NoXsOrOs

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    I have a fear of finding too many people XD..
    what am I doing with my life...
     
  7. Ameryllis

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    That's awesome though! Imagine the selection you'd have.
     
  8. bookreader

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    Sometimes but then i can always get a cat
     
  9. DissonantMars

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    I'm already 26, virgin, have had only one relationship, and it was toxic and traumatic and only lasted a month. I live in the least populated state with the lowest percentage of lesbians, and I rarely ever go out to socialize outside work. I'm basically an invisible lipstick lesbian, and bar scenes make me uncomfortable. Yes, I'm very afraid of dying alone.
     
  10. RainbowGreen

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    I would not say that I'm scared perhaps, but I worry about it a bit.

    Being trans, I feel like I will be seen as ''less than'' in the gay community. I also don't want to date just anyone (I have standards, in other words). I haven't dated at all in my life either and I only find a select few attractive :/

    I try to keep an open mind and stay positive, though.
     
  11. aussielefty

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    I often wonder this myself, I hope I can find some one but who knows whats around the corner??
     
  12. 108

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    I don't mean to pry, but why subject yourself to these conditions? For many, finding a relationship, love, sex is essential to personal happiness. If your situation has too many roadblocks to finding those things to make yourself happy, why not change them? You can move. You can 'get over' uncomfort from bars. You can force yourself to get out more. It's hard but sometimes you have to put yourself out there to create a change in your life.
     
  13. Secrets5

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    I know it's for the best that I don't date somebody else, as I prefer to be alone a lot of the time and don't really like physical contact, but sometimes I am worried about a life completely alone - you know - when your friends get married and/or have kids and go to meet other people who get married and/or have kids. But anyway - I suppose if I keep focused on transitioning and being the best at my job that I can possibly be, then I'll stop being worried. I think the only reason I'm worried so much as it's normative to want someone, and I've internalized that, but between women not wanting to date me and women not wanting me to date men, and the very few non-binary people that I don't even know besides on line, I'd rather not worry myself with something that even if I find someone, I probably won't want to go further with. But yet I still worry about it [I worry about the future in general].
     
    #13 Secrets5, Jul 24, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016
  14. Blood Elf

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    I wouldn't say "scared" but I do believe that I won't. It could be because of low self-esteem or it may actually be true, no idea. Throughout my entire life, I've watched people close to me fall in love while I was always the third wheel. I mean, of 24 years, about four months of it is being in relationships, my 15 year old sister has waaaaayyy (by years) more experience than I do. LOL

    But, I feel like I have accepted how things are now better than I use to, because it doesn't really bother me as much like it use to.
     
    #14 Blood Elf, Jul 24, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016
  15. MagicPotato

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    You know there's nothing wrong with being alone. Society just likes to tell us that we have to always find someone to be happy. Saying that without someone else, you're incomplete. But really you don't need to have someone else to be happy. Being single does not automatically mean that you are sad and lonely.
     
  16. Jellyfish Clear

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    I don't know. For me the future of being alone is really appealing to me. I know that it would be nice to have someone beside you but really to me it doesn't sound like a necessity.
     
  17. Libra Neko

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    No. The only time I wish I could be in a romantic relationship is when I'm around my extended family because they're all paired up. I like being alone though. I just don't like being judged; they might think I can't find someone. I have had a few lovers but never anything very serious or long-lasting.
     
  18. DissonantMars

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    Well... Gay bars don't exist here, period. And there are rarely any LGBT community get-togethers, and when there are, it seems I'm always working that weekend. Even worse is that whenever the Facebook group posts an event I might want to go to, if I click 'Interested' to remind myself and get notifications, it broadcasts it to everybody else's Facebook wall. WITHOUT TELLING ME. I didn't know this until my mom sent me a disappointed message about my choice to walk down a path of sin.

    Plus, I have social anxiety and so tend to avoid situations in which I'm out of my element (being new to the LGBT community, that means everything LGBT) because it gives me anxiety.

    I've been considering moving to Rochester, MN, since working in healthcare there is kind of a bucket list item for me. I know Minneapolis is the place to go for lesbians, but I'm hoping Rochester has a nice community as well. Maybe then I could get out and meet people.

    The only thing is... I LOVE the people at my job here! I'm totally comfortable here and know what I'm doing. I get anxiety attacks when starting in a new job/new hospital, and I'm a real airhead especially when people first get to know me, and it would be a REALLY depressing first few months. Plus, hospital personalities can vary so widely--what if the hospital there isn't welcoming of me? What if they don't become family like my current work basically is? I'm afraid the grass will be less green on the other side, and I'll have abandoned everything that was working for me. My work values me here. All my foibles are forgiven. Then there's the arduous task of moving all my crap, and my house is an explosion of trash.

    So which is the wiser decision? Keep my work environment where people adore me and care about me, while probably staying single forever? Or move somewhere for the greater CHANCE of finding love (or heartbreak and disaster) and also risk work/life being a hellhole? I'm afraid of the unknown...
     
  19. Deinna

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    I have always thought about it. Few years back, I got bullied by both girls and boys, so I thought that nobody liked me. Maybe I still think like that, since almost everyone tends to ignore me, but not as much as then. But who knows, maybe someone actually likes me that way someday :slight_smile:
     
  20. L0ser

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    I wouldn't say scared, but with how I am I really don't see myself in a relationship anytime soon. I'd say my chances of never finding someone are pretty high, but I can't predict the future.