1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How Offended Do You Get From LGBT+ Slurs?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SabreBear, Feb 14, 2016.

?

How high is your tolerance towards slurs?

  1. Very Low

    22 vote(s)
    32.4%
  2. Some Bother Me

    32 vote(s)
    47.1%
  3. Very High

    14 vote(s)
    20.6%
  1. Radioactive Bi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,339
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK Midlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Honestly, I don't give a shit about slurs as I'm not a child.

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
  2. Snow

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Yes.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    LGBT slurs show just how narrow minded some people are.
     
  3. imnotreallysure

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2013
    Messages:
    2,937
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Leeds, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not very. Depends on the slur more than anything, and the context in which it is being used. Also depends on how it is said and the person saying it.. like when my grandmother gets angry at me and insults me, my automatic reaction is to laugh because I find it hard to take her seriously when she acts like that. Laughing at someone who is trying to insult you or be serious is also a good way to make them angrier.
     
    #23 imnotreallysure, Feb 14, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2016
  4. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,759
    Likes Received:
    106
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, my computer seems to be up and running again fairly smoothly again.

    I voted "high tolerance" on the poll, because well, slurs like that used to affect me, but these days not so much. I think it only really affected me when I was questioning my sexuality, simply because I hadn't really given it any mind before.

    When I started questioning things, it was only then when I realised how much these kind of terms were being used regularly, and being in a teenage setting these words are pretty much used every second sentence. There's always that one guy who brings up random homophobic nonsense even if the subject wasn't even mentioned. :dry:

    Let's start with the obvious one- Faggot. Now it's shortened term "fag" doesn't bother me, simply because of the fact that "fag" tends to mean "cigarette" around 'ere so... yeah. Cultural differences and all that. "Faggot" can sometimes get to me I'll admit. At first, it didn't bother me. My primary school teachers would often use it in front of us- but they used it to insult the frail and elderly. I thought it just meant "moody old woman" or something back then, simply because I was a) not aware that gay people existed (well, vaguely knew in the later years around 8/10 years old) and b) the term had been described to us to mean such.

    I know one teacher who would call this woman a "miserable old faggot" behind her back. And I mean, she's not wrong. When I got older, I got confused because the people around me were using the term rather differently to how my teacher used to use it- so I looked into it.

    Turns out, there is some reasoning to my teacher's use of the word after all. It was hard to track down one singular meaning to the word "faggot", as there were quite a few meanings to the word, from types of pudding, to cigarettes, to even a type of dish roasted upon a stick, to a bundle of sticks, to even the term "faggoting" or "to faggot", which was a common practice in old all-boys English boarding schools in which the older years would look after the younger years and help them change, wash, feed themselves ect. They were referred to as "faggots" since they had the job of "faggoting" in the school. Of course, they were often rumours set against these boys who held such positions- as you can imagine.

    BUT I did finally manage to find the meaning to it. Now most people only find part of the meaning to it, the "bundle of sticks" part. And they're not wrong, and that's usually when people ask "Well, what's so offensive about a bundle of sticks?"

    Well... back then the travellers would often have to travel long distances with a rather heavy stack of firewood carried upon their backs, only held together by some string. These stacks of firewood would often be considered a "burden" to carry upon their backs, and it would often cause them discomfort and back-pain carrying such amounts. In the traveller's inner circles, it started to become popular to imply that someone was a "burden" on the group by calling them a "faggot". The term was first used toward the Elderly, because they were often seen as "unnecessary", "useless" and well, otherwise a "burden" on society, a waste of space. The elderly weren't treated as they are now, they were looked down upon for their lack of physical prowess and handiness to have around. They were seen as expendable, "a burden" that would be better off used for its intended purpose, firewood. Something that would be better off burnt therefore taking up less space and less of a burden to carry. I mean, they didn't go around burning elderly people, but the implication was still very much there.

    Well, at one point in history they did go around burning elderly women at the stake if they were thought to be a witch. Especially if they were caught hanging around with a cat, especially a black cat.

    But, I digress. Over time, as society's views changed, the term moved from "elderly people" to "physically disabled people" and then to "mentally disabled people" until it eventually landed on "gay people"-specifically gay men, who were seen as effeminate,useless,and well impractical to have around. It was then later expanded to include lesbians and other LGBT identifying people, usually towards a person holding a non-straight identity.

    Therefore- "Faggot"= a burden on society, that would be better of... yeah.

    But don't hold me on this, since the internet isn't always the most reliable source of course. But yeah, that's what I found when trying to research into the word.

    During High school, if someone called you that it meant that they were going to come beat you up, for even the smallest of things. I saw some guy get beat up for wearing pink socks. So for me, faggot was always a word of fear. It was something that struck fear in me.

    As I got used to the word however, I became desensitised to it. Perhaps too much so. When someone says it in front of me, my friends tend to give me this look like "aren't you going to say something?" and then move on when I don't and I feel kind of bad. I just.. never know at one point I should speak up.

    "Dyke" I wasn't aware was even a slur up till recently. With Adrianna and Sarah (from "pillow talk" (unsolicited project) on YouTube) using "baby dyke" frequently, I just presumed it to be a friendly term people use, until I found out about the ways it can be used negatively against people. I've only ever been called a "dyke" like two times in my life at this point, and personally it has no effect on me.

    "Tranny" comes up alot along with "Lesbo", but neither effects me personally, but I can see how both terms could be offensive.

    "Queer" is one of the lesser used ones here, maybe because of the effort to reclaim it perhaps? I still hear it being used negatively from time to time though.

    "Co:***:ks:***::***:ker" is a common one, along with well he can just "suck my :***:" and its less used counterpart "M:***:mu:***:her". I am less open to these terms, and I hate how often they are used.

    And the whole "that's so gay" thing, that's just plain funny. The mental images I get when a girl complains that her hair is "just so lesbian today". :roflmao: Oh, my mind. :lol:

    But the thing that get me the most is when people wish "death upon gays" and that they wish that gay guys "would die of AIDS". I have to sit in an entire freaking classroom full of ass-holes who share this view, and boy are they vocal about it. You've no idea how tempting it is to punch some of them in the face sometimes. :tantrum: I'm almost tempted to get up and go find someone to give them a freaking lesson on sexual health and perhaps show them some of these forums.

    But no, I just have to sit there and listen to this sh:***:t day in, day out and pretend I don't hear it. I find it funny how they ask "Hey (my name), do you think there's anyone who's gay in this class?" and they ask me, the girl with the rainbow bracelet. Ugh. Why do I even bother?

    But yeah, I'd say I have a fairly high tolerance for such terms being used, but it really depends on the how bad it is. Most of the time I can sit in that classroom and it won't bother me, but sometimes I just go in then and I just...ugh. :tantrum:
     
    #24 Canterpiece, Feb 14, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2016
  5. Libertino

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2016
    Messages:
    1,195
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    This Side of the Enlightenment
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I wouldn't say I'm offended by these terms, but some of them, including "faggot" and "tranny" just make me cringe when I hear them. I won't get offended to the point where I'll tell someone not to use it or support publicly shaming someone who uses such a word, but they cause a visceral cringing reaction in me when I hear them, and I chalk that up to being raised to not use these terms.
     
  6. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,759
    Likes Received:
    106
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Damn, sorry for writing a freaking essay on this before. I have a tendency to do that. :eusa_doh: :icon_redf
     
  7. Andrew99

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,402
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Milwaukee
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Some bother me.
     
  8. biAnnika

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,839
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The crime, dear, isn't posting a lengthy essay...the crime is posting a lengthy essay, and then *re-posting* that essay in the name of an apology for the original posting. Silly. *smile*
     
  9. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,759
    Likes Received:
    106
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    :lol: Yeah, I didn't really think that one through. I should probably get some sleep, I make terrible decisions when I'm sleep-deprived. *cough* then again I make terrible decisions anyway *cough*

    :grin:


    :sleep:
     
  10. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    934
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New England, US
    I would never use LGBT+ slurs myself and I don't appreciate the fact that they exist. But I personally don't take much offense. I don't get upset easily over things in general.
    It's more if the person using the slur is being a jerk. Whether or not the word existed, that person would still be a jerk with the same opinions.
    That's just how I feel about it anyway.
     
  11. RavenTheRat

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    29
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Eh. When people make fun of me I tend to just laugh it off. I spent too many years letting bullies make me cry. I'm done with that.
     
  12. guitar

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,062
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Southern Ontario, Canada
    If a friend says as a joke "don't be such a fag" vs. someone hostile saying "f*cking fag!" are two very different situations. Outside of a religious nutter yelling things at no one in particular, I've been VERY lucky in that I haven't really encountered outright homophobia or slurs.
     
  13. state-champs

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2016
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Union City
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I couldn't agree more! The phrases themselves don't really bother me. However, when someone uses it to bring another person down/make them feel inferior/degrade them then I have to say that's when I draw the line.
     
  14. iiimee

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In my imagination.
    Erm, I accidentally voted very low, because it asked how high is your tolerance... X_X I should've put very high...
     
  15. Skaros

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,254
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I don't like the use of the words "faggot" "Tranny" or "dyke", but I do love gay jokes and laugh at those kinds of jokes. As long as it's not meant in bad way, then I really don't mind them at all.
     
  16. LogicNoSense

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2015
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Singapore
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Suuuper low.

    In general most insults just fly over my head. I only pretend to be insulted in front of people I'm not that close to, mainly to point out that 'I'm bi, so shut up.'

    However, if it's by my godmother (a hardcore Christian who's very insulting) I get insulted really easily.
     
  17. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Some as a whole just piss me off, and some offend me if they're aimed towards me.

    For example, I explicitly got called the "d word" by a relative a few years ago, and it triggered me deeply. Context is important, but I generally have no tolerance for some of them; especially the "t word" no matter how it's used. The only slur I don't get too upset over (mostly if it's aimed towards me) is faggot, since at least the person is gendering me correctly.
     
  18. Southern Stoic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2016
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lurking on the dark underbelly of the web
    Not much of anything offends me however the intent is often a little saddening. What a sad life one must lead to get joy from trying to tear others down.
     
  19. the haunted

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2014
    Messages:
    789
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    I don't get offended by slurs. Words are just words. Yes, some words aren't very nice ones, but I've got thick skin, so I can handle it. If someone is trying to get to me with a slur, I'd be upset that they are disrespecting me and not the word itself.

    The "worst" slur for me is "tranny". I just think it's so incredibly rude. I've actually met people who still think it's an appropriate word to use for someone who is transgender. Yikes.
     
  20. Agent 47

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2015
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Being called gay is annoying, as it is neither an insult nor true. A true issue was when my friend said 'tranny' to describe transgender people without understanding the negative implications however it was out of ignorance not hatred or fear. At my school 'faggot' isn't used that much and when it is its not homophobic but as a general insult, anyway there are no openly out people.