This question has been on my mind for years. I'm 19 this year, so it's too early for me to have couple of them. But I do think that I need to be prepared for the best kind of method to teach them in the future. So, haven't you?
I thought that if they had an argument, if it was violent, stop the violence, but then sit them down and ask them to 'talk it out' and I'll leave the room to the next one and make sure everything's okay. I'll live by the rule; the children are the future, the future of the construction of the already constructed society, you kind of got to let them construct it. They've still got rules, of course, but that's to protect them from anything 'adult' that they are not yet.
I think about that quite often actually. Sometimes I'll see a parent do something, or even just thinking about the opinions I value, and I think about how I would convey that to my children the way I want to. I think no one can be a perfect parent though and the preparations you make in your head, although useful, probably couldn't prepare you for exactly how it would be so I jsut try to keep that in mind and not stress about it too much.
I have 3 girls and my biggest goal is to teach them responsibility, tolerance and how to be independent. I suck at being an authority figure, however I try to stay pretty close to my girls and have open and honest discussions with them about any issue that pops up.
I think about that often. If I had kids I'd want to teach them to be tolerant, open minded people above all. Have no idea how I'd do that lol but I don't think you can plan exactly how you're going to raise a child, you'll just take it as it comes, and decide what is best at that moment, according to the values that you want to convey to them. Obviously everyone fails at some point, but I'd just hope to do a good job overall. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Demonstrate by example, be honest and open with them, encourage empathy and independent thought, and not indoctrinate them into a number of social problems like homophobia, racism, the gender binary etc. Not that I want children.
I'm 16 and I'm already worrying about my parenting skills. Mostly I've been thinking about how to raise my future kids in an environment without the traditional and old-fashioned gender roles and how to teach them to be open minded. I've also been wondering if families with same-sex parents are still gonna be a big deal in the future. I really hope they won't because it would be the coolest if I could raise my kids in a less heteronormative society.
Teaching them not to assume that what they think or learnt is always right will prevent them from being assholes I guess.
I remember before I had kids the ways I thought I would do it so much better than my parents. I've definitely succeeded in a lot of ways but there are just some things you can't get around. I've always tried to be honest and open with them but, honestly, kids are shitheads sometimes LOL. You can facilitate open caring communication between squabbling siblings at every opportunity only to have them continue picking on one another. Unless you have some special kid that represents the next leap forward in human emotional evolution you are going to take the toy from the big kid and give it to the little one just to make the screaming stop. I have always tried to be honest with them. Instill good morals. The big difference from how I was raised is I try to teach them to question and come to their own conclusion. My eleven year old is an athiest like me. The seven year old seems like she believes or wants to. This has been tricky as I'm an athiest and have had some interesting talks where I'm trying to support her. I even taught her to pray. My goal is to guide towards a healthy spiritual experience if at all possible. Don't worry too much about planning the details because much of it is going to be dictated by the child. And you get to ease into it. It's not like they're born and you have to teach them tolerance and morals and whatever else at once.
I couldn't help but laugh about your one child being an atheist. I got in shit with my ex one time because one of my girls told her I threw a bible away. Of course, I got accused of raising our children to be godless heathens. My two older girls are atheists, and my youngest seems on the fence some. I told her no matter what she believes she should stand by it and not sacrifice what she believes just to appease someone else. I want my daughters to grow into freethinking, independent young women.
All the time oh meh gerd!!! *nose bleed* I'm gonna be an awesome daddy one day and a killer husband!!! I'm going to teach my kids the 4 rules to live by in my house: 1. Love yourself 2. Follow your head and heart. They have to be in sync or else nothing will flow. You have to know when to be a realist and an idealist.. *I think they'll get their idealistic side from me tho XD* 3. If an altercation breaks out try and resolve it calmy. If the other person resorts to violence... don't worry.. all those mma and boxing lessons me and your other dadyour*by then my future husband * put you in will pay off.lolz P.s. my kids will learn some type of physical defense 4. You can stay at my house as long as you want. Just make sure you've a hobby to emerce yourself in.
I'd have to be extremely careful with what lessons I'd convey; because although I would want a very head strong and independent kid, that would open up doors in the teenage years for rebellion and constant clashing ... I'm not really sure how I would go about this. Guess I'll know if the time ever comes about. But my ultimate goal would be to make them better than me in every way.
I wouldn't teach them to be a good person. I'd show them the rewards of being good and the pain caused by being bad. From there I'd trust them to make the right decisions.