I'm tired. I don't want to be awake. But if I go to bed now, I won't be able to sleep, because my brain is a jackass. On a happier note, the Bundesliga kicks back off this weekend after a month's break, so of course that makes me a happy guy.
Yeah! I always end up pretending I didn't notice or just let it go because I feel rude interrupting them. On the bright side they at least don't call me a girl anymore? They say things like "Quiet is a boy now I keep forgetting" progress!
So at my gay group this one guy called me unerotic. I think he was kidding but I'm still kinda offended. Ugh I'm so sensitive! I need to stop being so sensitive.
"Conversation" between me and brain... Me: Hard time masturbating, thinking of him every day, recreating the impossible romantic scenario with him... Brain, pleas tell me you are not in love with that straight barista Brain: Me: YOU DENSE MOTHER<toooot>!!! You wanted to hurt your self again?! We have more shit to deal with!!! You just came out to your co workers and now they are talking behind your back! WHY?!!! Brain: Have you seen his ASS??!! Me:
So I got some really shitty news today. My entire department, of 30+ people, was outsourced. Starting Monday, we will be training our replacements and our contracts end April 1st, April Fool's! Like..really shitty. It's not absolutely terrible though, there is a silver lining in that there's a few different options for us, depending. Some of us will get a promotion to the Global Operations team, which would be a bonus actually and a pay raise. Some of us will move to completely new and random teams. Some of us will be demoted if we want to go to the help desk, and the rest of us are in the rain. So here's to hoping...so far 2015 ended on a shitty note, and 2016 doesn't seem to be getting much better.
Not sure what I'm thinking. I thought I wanted to be alone so I canceled my plans with my friend and now I don't want to be a lone but feel stupid asking if she would mind hanging out still. And yes she is pretty much my only friend.
The book was awful, but I blame Pride & Prejudice for being so boring not even zombies could salvage the story. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (another parody by Seth Grahame-Smith) turned out much better, but then again, the movie adaptation was awful... Anyway, hopefully the audiovisual feedback will give P&P&Z the kick it needs if it is to have any chance of being anything other than mind-numbingly boring. I'm not holding my breath.
How do I get past this mental barrier I have created in my head? I feel insecure too easily. Anything can set me off. When around mirrors I have to look at them to see if I'm ugly and check off what I don't like about myself. It's a constant struggle I can't seem to shake off. I'm looking for validation I won't get.
Me: *tells boyfriend about story idea* Boyfriend: WELL... Let me tell you why that idea SUCKS. You should do a Russian spaghetti western that's like Scarface but it's not cliche and maybe you'll get a movie deal. Me: Then why don't you write the goddamn book??
I've not read it, so can't comment either way. :lol: And to the rest of Snake's post, I'm not expecting much from the movie if I do see it, so don't think I could be disappointed.
Decreasing the amount of sugar I put in my tea every day; I'm proud. I think it used to be more parts sugar than tea.