If your spouse came out as transgender...

Because I'm trans, I think I'd be able to empathize with them and continue to love them. Though if who I thought was my husband turned out to be my wife, it would be difficult to adjust to. I believe I would though, and if I loved them enough to marry them in the first place - I'd love them till the end.

For a lot of people, such a thing may be crossing the line as it could mean losing most physical attraction to the person.

 

Well, I'm pan, I think, so yeah, I'm quite sure I would. Especially if I was really in love with said person, of course.

 

Get a divorce. I'm gay, I'm attracted to men if my husband was unhappy being a guy and wanted to fulfill their change to female I'd remain friends and show support but I can't deny that I would probably be a little upset/heartbroken that they didn't tell me sooner

 

If I loved that person enough, absolutely. Even if they were transmale.

There might be some things I'd really have to get used to, but it would be nothing too strenuous to divorce over. The satisfaction of my lover means the most to me. ^___^

 

I would get a divorce. Just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean I'd still be attracted to my spouse if they were a different gender. I would still be supportive, though it might take me a while to reach that stage. I'd probably be really upset upon finding out.

 

Same. I'm a gay male, which means I'm attracted to other males. I'm my husband were to come out as trans, it would mean he would become my wife. I would actually feel a bit offended because they would have had a "gay identity" but not be comfortable to tell me they were really a transwoman. It's not like if marrying me would have been as easy as a pre-transition trans person to enter into a "straight marriage" for the purpose of appearances.

As a male who is attracted to other males, I don't even know how I'd process that. We could probably still remain friends, but, depending upon their sexual orientation, it would be in everyone's best interests to amicably separate so we could each be happy. Part of me also feels that for many persons (regardless of their sexual orientation), marrying someone who is trans would lead to question their own orientation (to a degree). If I were to marry a transguy, it would mean that this person's original birth certificate listed them as female (and vice versa for a transwoman). For persons of a more delicate disposition, this may be too much.

I just hope that as time passes on, people will not enter into marriages where their sexual orientation and/or gender identity would preclude them from marrying such a person. Sadly, I feel gender identity issues carry more baggage than sexual orientation and many people still face disproportionate stigma vis-à-vis sexual orientation.

 

Couldn't agree more with Alamo; it's very saddening when I read on here and other forums about how heartbroken people are when their relationship is ruined because their partner decided to get a sex change and it's not fair to them that they do that in the middle of a relationship.

By the same token, it hurts to see when people are in a straight relationship and then decide they like the same sex and break up with their partner, making them feel worthless, unlovable, and possibly even suicidal. If it happened to me, my self esteem would take a crippling blow, I would feel incompetent as a lover, and it would just be so unpleasant. This is 2015, and hopefully people can be more upfront about who they are. In the beginning when you're just getting to know someone, and if you're already trans, it would be ok to be secretive, but once you know them the right thing to do would tell them you're either trans or at least questioning your gender rather than dumping a bombshell like that in an established relationship.

There's also the issue of the difficulty trans people have in finding lovers, but that's no excuse to mislead someone on the pretense that you're the gender you appear to be, and it's really no better than the chasers who pursue and invalidate the identity trans people have, and it also tarnishes innocent, honest trans people with the same brush. Similarly, biphobia exists for similar reasons with people claiming to be bi, then dumping their straight partner and saying they're gay.

 

If I had a wife who transitioned, I would eventually get a divorce, except not while he was going through the struggles. Even though I would not be attracted to him any more, I'd still love him, and so I'd be there for him while he needed me. I think that by divorcing him, I would be accepting his gender more; I am attracted to girls, not boys. But I'd aim to stay close to him, as a friend, and act as a good friend whenever he needed me. I don't think that divorce is always an admission that you don't love each other any more, just that the marriage isn't working for you. And I'd hope that he finds a brilliant person to love him, because I expect that he'd be an absolutely amazing person XD

 

Pretty much the same except changing the pronouns since im a guy and they'd be coming out as being a female. Idk if I can have a relationship without any kind of sexual intimacy and not even just sexually but romantically im attracted to men...

 

Honestly I have no idea. I would have to reconsider how I identify myself. Could I identify as bi? I actually had this discussion (could I go back to calling myself bi for him) and it was an absolute no. It's been a long struggle with myself to call myself lesbian. I finally feel like myself, that I have found my place.
A partner changing gender would be very difficult for me. I've thought about whether I could be with a trans mtf and I have no idea. Post bottom op, i'm pretty sure would not be an issue. Pre-op? I dont know. And i know how horrible that sounds. I'm aware of that. The genitals might be a deal breaker. A trans ftm might just be a step too far for me. I know it would be the same person but, I can't see myself with a man again.
I don't know. I really don't.

 

I wouldn't personally have an issue with it. I even used to tell my partner that I'd be cool with it if he felt he identified as a woman (he definitely doesn't know). I'm not going to lie, even though I'm trans it would probably take some readjustment considering how I know my partner's how I personally perceive them. But I'd definitely stick around.

 

I would be surprised, for sure, but I would want my partner to live their true and happy life~ If they still wanted to be with me after their transition, why would I go anywhere? If they decided that they wanted to explore and such, which would be understandable, then in that case, we would have to divorce so that they could go find what they're looking for~ I don't want anyone to think I'm a ball-and-chain~

 

I might just mention that some trans or gay/straight people don't KNOW they are whatever they are when they first enter into a relationship. It might be that they don't discover themselves until several years into a marriage. If you then blame them for that they didn't tell you sooner - that's just cold. However, if they did know, then I agree, they shouldn't have gone so far into a relationship without saying anything.

 

I would stay married to them. If I loved that person enough in the first place to date them, then later on marry them of course I would want to stay with them. Though I have heard of peoples orientation changing when the start hormones. I do not know if this is true or not.

This is one thing my partner and I are worried about. I tell her that my orientation will not change once I start HRT but she does not believe me. There is a tiny part of me that also worries.

I guess where I am going with this is, if my spouse were to fall out of love with me while in transition then I would want a divorce. Or if they were to cheat on me.

 

This is a tough one...

... And unfair as well. If I was 100% bisexual, then the answer would be 'yes', but I am not 100% bisexual, perhaps not even 25%, so I wouldn't ask for a divorce, but I'd be very clear that our marriage would turn into something unconventional... And it would be pretty much 'take it or leave it'.

Still, I can't see myself leaving somebody unless I am sure I can't give them what they deserve. If my spouse is able to deal with an open relationship (on the sexual department), then it shouldn't make no difference to us, but I can see my spouse shocked, disgusted and running away.

 

After 25 years, I think I'd quite literally faint!

 

If my (not yet ex) husband had come out as trans, I would have completely supported the transition and continued the marriage, assuming sexual orientation remained the same. The only orientations I am not compatible with are gay men and straight women, so it would not be an issue at all. The person I married is still the person I married, and I married them as a whole, authentic person.

 

I don't think I'd end up falling out of love with them. Love doesn't really have a gender in my opinion. If I fell in love with them, it was for a reason and they're not a whole different person if they are trans.
However- my answer is I'd likely divorce them. That emotional connection isn't enough to keep a relationship going, honestly, and there is just something about girls I like, something about them that attracts me. I would not lose love for them, but I'd have no attraction to a guy in most cases. I feel like I wouldn't be able to truly respect their identity by staying with them. Im just not attracted to guys, at all. For one, there'd be no more sex, and physically- even kidding and cuddles and all wouldn't be enjoyable with the opposite gender. I wouldn't be able to give them my whole effort in the relationship and I feel like in this situation breaking up with them would be best for both

 

Of course I would, If i love someone then I love them that will never change because of their gender