How much does personality affect attraction?

^ I don't think a single person alive thinks they are a 0 or a 10. We're all somewhere in between, and it's the people we meet who we think are either of those numbers.

 

^^^ I only used 0/10 to give a drastic contrast. I do not think that anyone falls into the 0/10 rating haha.

 

Ahem.

 

For me, there would have to be physical attraction from the outset.

I wouldn't date anyone I found ugly (we might as well use the word) because I wouldn't want to be intimate with them. Even if they were absolutely everything I were looking for, if I didn't find them physically attractive, I couldn't take the relationship anywhere.

 

Yes, I'd like it better. That way I get to see them for them without being 'manipulated' by the way they look.

 

Are you talking about me, or about you/people in general? It's also *not* personality alone. It is personality plus their physical person...there has to be a starting point. There must be something to build on. But there always is, of course (nobody *can* be a 0).

 

Looks aren't the be all end all in life, but they play a part that I'd put at equals with personality. I'd probably be drawn towards appearance, but if I discover a person is a total knob, shallow, whatever, I'd leave 'em.

I remeber doing some stuff on the computer while my mother was watching some film and it was about a guy who saw 'whats on the inside', i.e horribly obese people would become average and good looking... Just popped into my head...

 

Shallow Hal, I believe, is the name of that film. Jack Black is/was in it.

 

^
Sounds like the one.
I was kinda watching it on and off and it was almost entertaining.

 

Forgive me. I should have known.

 

Personality is extremely important. I couldn't be with someone I didn't find physically attractive though. Personality shines through to me and it definitely can make someone even more attractive, but it wouldn't make them physically attractive to me if they weren't initially. It can also completely turn me off. I couldn't be with someone with a terrible personality or I didn't feel an emotional connection with.

I want both in a relationship. Them winning over my heart is only going to make them a million times more beautiful to me. It works the other way around as well. I don't want the one I'm with only emotionally attracted to me. That's extremely important, but I also want to feel wanted/desired. The fact that I own their heart as well is such a huge turn on.

I do know that I have been more turned off by someone's behavior/attitude than I ever have by the way they look.

---------- Post added 28th Oct 2015 at 07:37 PM ----------

That was awesome :lol: thank you for that

 

The experts were people who authored books on relationships, admittedly in the pop psychology area of bookstores, and also people who were professionals or educators with doctorate level education who appeared as experts on talk shows, which I haven't watched in a long time.

This topic was interesting to me because I've had it happen to me and I decided the same way that was recommended, though prior to ever reading their books or listening to them, simply based on what were gut feelings and what I thought was common sense.

I do agree with you that some people can move up some in attractiveness, but usually not by leaps and bounds. If they don't quite hit the spot where they'd be attractive to you so that you could sustain a relationship with them, I see no point in pursuing in. Also, I would have to be attractive and interesting enough to the other party. I've been told 'yes, to some degree, but not enough so' in my life a time or two, and one learns there is nothing they can do about it. If a person is hurt by someone's rejection, there is no sense in sticking around for more hurt by trying to push it and change someone's mind.

---------- Post added 28th Oct 2015 at 06:02 PM ----------

They've also studied that the 9 and 10 crowd in looks (people who were very attractive, based on scaling by studies) doesn't develop their personality to its fullest potential because they are given a lot of leeway across the years. Their personalities would definitely be deal breakers. Also, a lot of 9 and 10 people in looks look like they try too hard to look good. Some can be 9s and 10s without much fuss while others primp and preen a bit much.

 

For me personality is everything. I've known people who are a 9/10 for physical attraction, but they had a horrible personality. They were jerks, rude, nasty people who couldn't hold a conversation. I'm not a person that bases everything on looks. I can't have a sexual relationship on someone that is only looks. Sorry, but I look for something more than just the physical when it comes to sex, its not fun or fulfilling if I can't connect with that person.
People who rate low of a physical level but high on a personality scale have been shown to actually start appealing more phrysically attractive as someone gets to know them more. I could see myself in a relationship with someone if they had a great personality over looks, because that is what is exciting about a relationship and what makes one. Them being nice to look at and fun to show off gets boreing after a bit if you can't hold a conversation.

 

Personality affects attraction by a lot. It is natural to gravitate towards people who are perceived to be attractive physically. There are a lot of factors that influence physical attraction. Biologically, we are programmed to look for a mate that can ensure the survival of our offspring. Males are more attracted to women with voluptuous bodies (not necessarily fat but "sexy") because it can withstand the consequences of child birth. Small women, if not careful, have a higher risk of complications during pregnancy. Similarly, women are attracted to males who have sharp and striking features (pronounced jaw lines. etc.) because it signifies strength, vigour, and masculinity. These are just a few reasons as to why people are attracted to certain traits and characteristics.

In human romantic relationships, besides physical attraction, character, behaviour, and personality play an important role. No matter how physically attractive an individual is, they will be unappealing if they displayed behaviour that is perceived as "not desirable". This is also true if one expresses interests that are not considered "significant" by the other person. For all romantic relationships, physical attraction should be present because this is also one of the reason as to why people would want to have sexual intercourse with their partner. That and love. A romantic relationship that does not have physical attraction is not romantic at all. It is generally just a friendship.

I have read though that physical attraction does not have to be present at the onset of a romantic relationship because it can be developed. I think this is already psychological.

 

While I haven't started dating yet, I would say it is pretty I,portant that they are good looking, and that they find me good looking. If you gag when you see someone your relationship will be awkward IMO lol

 

I have to attracted to their personality above all. Imperfections in appearance attract my attention, and if their smile makes it into their eyes. A bad personality is a deal breaker well before appearance.

---------- Post added 29th Oct 2015 at 02:50 PM ----------

And StevefS? Personality every time.

 

I can't be with a person who's nasty although a 6 on personality is pretty decent, there will be things that I know will annoy me while a person who's a 6 looks-wise isn't really bad too but atleast I don't have to deal with his hangups or whatever.. I'd rather tolerate someone who isn't as good-looking than tolerate a person's personality. That sticks for life while beauty fades.

 

For a relationship, or for an evening of fun?