What are some misconceptions people have about you?

The most common misconception is that I am a friendly warm person. While I may come across this way, it is because I try to be. But naturally, I am not. Idk why, maybe I get it from my dad but it has it's benefits.

Another one is that I rely on other people. This is far from true and I hate relying on others and have done for years. I am a very independent person xD

 

I'm sure you have your unique strengths to bring to the table, and I personally believe that whilst people may have slightly skewered or not completely correct opinions of you, it doesn't change your value or worth in any way, despite feeling like you might be disappointing people re: what you wrote in your post. Anyhow to answer your questions:

Misconceptions:

That I'm quiet or don't have much to say. I actually am happy to contribute a lot to conversation I'm interested in and make loads of jokes if I'm comfortable around the person/people I'm with- but that can take a while.

That I focus most of my attention and values on academic success. I think it's just because in front of people in class and in those kind of environments I do my work properly and I normally get the grades.
But usually when I'm more in my own space and in my own time I have far more interests that I focus on, and my values extend much further beyond academic achievement despite it seeming like academics is the only thing about me. I just don't openly and constantly show a lot of my other interests that are important to me, unless you care enough to notice.

That I'm a straight girl. That is just incorrect on more than one front. Friends who have known me for years still assume this.

This also reminds me of the time my friends and I were chatting and one of them asked me why I never talk about my own struggles/whatnot ("you must have something you aren't talking about!") because I always am pretty objectively positive in conversations and not so open about my personal life around people. Stemming from that I guess those who aren't close enough to me to make that observation just assume that I don't have those struggles or that I'm naive with the more serious issues/have no experience with any of that, which isn't really true, at least not across the board.

And there are more examples too.

I guess it doesn't always feel that great to have a perceived identity formed from others' opinions/impressions that is so far from my own actual identity. Sometimes there's not a lot of obvious, forseeable solutions to some of this, apart from coming out in the future to correct that straight girl misconception.

 

For some odd reason, people tend to think I'm cold or a b*tch because I don't talk to people or say hello. I tend to prefer being silent because people tend to want to speak to my mum when we're out and I don't want to butt into their conversation.

 

...That I'm straight.

It's a struggle.

 

I'm pretty and feminine, and therefore I must be straight and shallow.

 

When I came out to a friend of mine I also told her a lot of other personal stuff, including that I'm a lot of times confused and insecure. She was so surprised, she was convinced I'm this confident person who has the right answer for everything. Which is very far from the truth. At least until recently.

Also people seem to think I'm very serious which is strange, because a lot of times I feel like a child inside. I'm also making a lot of stupid jokes and being ironic all the time, so not sure why do I come across as a "serious" person...

And of course people think I'm straight...I like to wear skirts but otherwise I think I look pretty gay, in the nerdy-artsy way...:icon_bigg

 

That I'm loud talkative and an extrovert. I'm actually a really shy person I get nervous in crowds of people and actually can go a few weeks without talking to anyone due to my shyness.
That because I'm quite flirty in groups of people I know that I find it easy to ask someone out or explain my feelings to them, I've lost friends and potential partners because I don't have courage to speak up

 

That I'm stupid. Sometimes my social anxiety makes me appear dumb, not have much to say when in actuality, I do have things to say and I'm a lot smarter than I appear to be. I look rather naive and ditzy, and while I am rather naive in some aspects, I'm more experienced and intelligent than I let on. (Offline, I mean)

 

I have medium hair and although my clothes are kind of baggy, everyone thinks I'm 100% straight. Even after I tell them I am simply gay, nothing else, they still think I am not. They can accept the possibility of me being bisexual or even straight but not fully lesbian and it's frustrating. Yes, I've been with guys in the past, but I had my last serious relationship with a guy a year ago. I had another one 5 months ago, but we didn't even speak. It was the perfect excuse for me to use when my mum wouldn't shut up about getting in a relationship or guys shamelessly hitting on me.

I am not attracted to males. Yes, I can acknowledge when someone looks good regardless of gender, but that doesn't mean I want in their pants. I don't even talk about guys to be fair, so why can't people actually understand that I like girls?

2. My mum thinks that in a lesbian relationship one has to be the boy and the other the girl and no matter how many times I try to explain that it doesn't actually work like that, she still won't get it. I don't know why.

3. She's so shy and quiet. No. Actually, you just don't know me well enough. I can be funny, random, relaxed and talkative, but I don't do that with just anybody.

4. For some unknown reason, some people think I'm intimidating. I don't see myself like that?? Like, I am pretty anxious sometimes and when I am not I am either staring into space thinking about pretty much nothing or just weird stuff or I'm just relaxing with my friends. Nothing scary about me. Unless I get angry. That doesn't happen too often, but, boy, when it does...

 

Everyone assumes I'm super shy and quiet, but I actually love to talk to people. I just like talking to the right people. For example, last year in spanish class, I met a girl who I am best friends with now. For most of the year, I wouldn't speak at all in that class, but I found myself talking nonstop with this girl who is amazing. A girl who sat behind us looked at me and said in shock 'so you do talk!'.

Also, people see me as innocent and sweet and, while I can be, if I hate someone, I hate them with a passion. People might also see me that way because I don't curse out loud, though...

 

People sometimes think I'm a snob or stupid because I don't say much. I am just shy and don't just talk to hear my head rattle. (That was not meant for anyone here.)

 

Some think I'm a bit cold and not emotional and sensitive. They can't see past the outside but that's the wall I've built to protect myself. I seldom let people in to see the real me.

Happy days

 

I was the target of some horrendous gossip years ago, none of which was true but it still makes it very difficult for me to make friends. I'm a very private person, except for, apparently on here lol, so I appear standoffish and aloof. In reality I'm shy (yeah I know, not on here) and I struggle to make conversation with people I don't know. I'm actively working on that, but the gossip still lingers in some people's minds.
I'm a different person online. I'm the person I want to be in real life but who very few people get to see.

 

I tend to be the kind of person that can be quite shy, but at the same time, outspoken and this is where I seem to be quickly judged as a fair few things I'm not. I may be shy and rarely initiate conversations with people but it certainly doesn't mean I don't want to talk. I enjoy talking to a variety of different people, I just find it hard to start a conversation. I may be outspoken but there's a difference between speaking whatever's on your mind and speaking your thoughts tactfully. I may say what I think but unless someone really rubs me the wrong way, I'll tell them what I think in a respectful, tactful manner.

 

That... I'm sensitive and prideful, or, an elitist.

In the past - yes - I was a conceited little brat, unfortunately. I'm afraid that has been a hard label to shake off, but I'm really trying to work on humility now. However, the notion that I'm an elitist is ludicrous. An elitist, by definition, has very high standards which they hold themselves and others to, and if others fail those standards they are deemed "inferior." While I do have high standards, I don't care if other people don't meet my standards. I believe everyone should develop their own standards - ones which best fit them personally and give them fulfillment.

As to sensitivity? Ha! I'd be surprised if someone could actually, genuinely offend me (and no that is not a challenge).

 

I think people think I'm just all innocent and sweet all the time, that I don't really deal with serious emotions deep down. I think that's due to the fact that I'm very private and always try to act like I'm okay. Not that I'm really depressed or anything usually, I think people just don't realize how much there is to me.

 

Perceived as aloof, shy, and a bit of an oddball and a punk.

I'm actually really highly educated and if you warm me up, I'm funny and nice and caring (forreals. I'm not just saying that.))