So, I asked on AVEN about whether or not I would classify as "Apagender" that being that I really don't care much for my gender, and that I'm indifferent to pronouns... Someone there said what I described could fall under the "Agender" identity... and when I googled Agender, I found this: Agender - Gender Wiki and what I described is listed there: Not knowing or not caring about gender, either as an internal identity or as an external label or in both senses. Deciding not to label their gender. Identifying more as a person than any gender at all. Is that post an accurate representation of agendered people?
Not really. From what I've heard from agender people, they want to be sexless and often treated neutrally. It's normal for cis people to just not care about their gender, it doesn't mean you're trans. And gender wiki isn't a very good source to learn about these things, just think about how you want to be biologically and socially.
Well I mean I have a gender days. I don't want to be sexless, I just don't want to be viewed as male or female. The last definition is the one that hits home for most a gender person I have talked to. We're people. Not a he. Not a she. Not a they. Just people. And on agender days I feel the appearance of a gender is just a gender expression.
So, with me not really caring much, being indifferent to pronouns, identifying as human, and not really claiming any particular gender identity, could I classify as Agender? ---------- Post added 29th Sep 2015 at 03:25 PM ---------- I don't know... most people I know who are cis care about who they are. They value their gender. I'm not sure if they're completely indifferent to pronouns like I am.
I'm not agender so I can't really speak to that, but to me those sound like traits a lot of cis people have. There are lots that care about their gender, but it's not uncommon for cis people to feel apathetic like that, I've heard it before. My theory is that because they've never had to deal with issues like dysphoria, there aren't really any reasons for them to have strong feelings about their gender or pronouns.
As this person says. I know many cis people who don't care about their gender. It is just something that simple is. They don't care about pronouns and will answer to whatever. But then I know some people who get offended as hell if someone mistakes them for a boy/girl. The thing about being trans (be that agender or whatever) is that only you know for sure. And it takes a while for you to figure it out sometimes. There is no one person in this world who can tell you what/who you are other than you yourself. Because you live in this body, you expreince it in ways that no one else can.
I'm not a spokesperson for all agender folk but I can personally attest to that, while I may be rather...indifferent to pronouns (for now), I am not indifferent to gender altogether. I really dislike being directly referred to as male or female(ie when someone says I've grown up to be nice young '(wo)man'; I seriously hate that). This.
I think it really depends on how you want to define it. Personally I identify as agender, and for me that does mean without sex or gender. But agender is a broad term in my view so that isn't the only right answer. I think if you like the term it could defiantly describe someone that is indifferent to pronouns. As long as the word makes some sense etymologically I think it is reasonable. So I think all of those definitions are reasonable, but that's not the only way the term agender can be used. Cisgender isn't one thing either - some cis people fit neatly into the stereotypes society has about them while others don't. That doesn't mean they can't identify with the term. Some for terms like man and woman. Obviously each of us has our own views on terms and how specific they are, but I sometimes wonder if we try to be too precise with labels. Eventually you need more than the label to describe who you are so maybe we just need labels that get people in the right frame of mind. Otherwise I wonder if, as labels are more and more precise, that each of us needs an individual label that applies only to us and then why not just use names? I found comfort in labels because it told me there were others who felt similarly, so I don't want it to sound like I don't think they are valuable, but I think there is a line where they become less useful. Sorry that got so long, but you've got me thinking.
^v^ I don't identify this way myself but I remember seeing a very well done comic about it. I'm a just leave it here. ChaosLife - Agender Agenda
Agender kid here, throwing some stuff into the ring. While I've never desired to be sexless or whatever, I do identify as agender in the sense that I just genuinely don't understand what "being a gender" feels like. Like I just can't conceptualize what feeling male/female/etc. must feel like. Gender isn't something I experience, sex is something I experience but that is wholly different from gender.
Well, for me, I just simply don't feel male or female and do not feel comfortable being identified as either, thus, agender.
I agree a lot with Jalo. It's less that I feel indifferent to gender, and more that I feel a definite disconnect with my assigned gender, and the idea of being seen as any other gender makes me pretty uncomfortable. At the same time though, reasons for identifying as agender can differ from person to person.
Just wanted to show up again to say that it is nice to see several other agender folk post here as well. Not long ago we almost seemed nonexistent and now here we are together. :surprised
I'm kind of genderqueer/fluid and I have genderless "phases" (for lack of a better word) where I can identify with all/any of these points, especially that last one.