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How do I make myself feel better while lacking options to express myself?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by MetalRice, Aug 30, 2015.

  1. MetalRice

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    Hello everyone, I just want to start off by saying that my dysphoria's been getting worse as of late, and my attempts to keep it controlled by distracting myself are increasingly becoming fruitless, but I lack various options to help relieve it or comfort myself (can't wear makeup or wear women's clothing, or do anything like that) for various reasons at this current point.

    Is there anything a young trans girl can do to make herself feel better about everyone until she can actually start doing more obvious things?
     
  2. GhostOfRazgriz

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    Do you currently tuck? It's a nice way, at least for me, to help deal with dysphoria. I'm pretty sure it's because I feel like I have control over my body, and it makes me feel better about it. Plus tucking's really not noticeable, and you can still wear any clothing you want. I started tucking without my parents or anyone knowing and nobody figured it out. The only way people will wonder/notice is if you wear like really tiny/tight clothing.
     
  3. Linus

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    Um. Well, I guess I have a few trans friends... I don't know much about how they deal with things, but with my being genderfluid, I know that what makes me feel better is doing stuff online, where people don't know your gender an stuff. I dunno, try out some girls online games? Then you can maybe make girl friends, and they'll never have to know. At least, that's what I'd do. Oh, and candy. That always helps. I like Skittles and butterscotch. :3
     
  4. MetalRice

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    I hadn't really tried tucking yet, mainly because I was afraid of getting noticed; and because I don't really have any of the kind of the tight clothing necessary to keep it place.

    I could always try it through, I suppose, see if I can figure out how to work it with my guys clothes and what not; through I was originally planning on waiting until I could get some more comfortable, female and tucking friendly clothes before I did.

    Candy is a good distraction I suppose; I eat alot of it.
     
  5. TobaccoFlower

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    Every so often I like to use a little perfume. Not enough to be noticed but I can smell it and it helps knowing it's there. And since I use one that's not super girly it kinda just smells like detergent I think.
    Also I like to wear jewelry. I wear things like stud pearl earrings instead of captive bead rings for insteance or a nice pretty necklace under my shirt or maybe if you find the money or if you can buy anything I suggest getting a bra and panties. It helps me from time to time. Panties can be super cheap to get a couple.
    Ummmm you can make your nails nicer and clear-coat them. I paint my toenails. I wear pants all day so I shave my legs now too.
    There are lots of ways. I have thick arm hair so I shave that too and it isn't really noticeable

    ---------- Post added 31st Aug 2015 at 08:46 AM ----------

    Oh! And I practice raising the pitch of my voice every so often. Just a little bit. Or softening it without raising the pitch. It's not nearly at noticeable as you might think. Worst case scenario if you do it over time is that people might see you as a girly guy. Gay perhaps. But. *shrug*
     
  6. confuzzled82

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    I see you are out to your parents and siblings. Perhaps see about getting more appropriate underwear. (Either buy them yourself, or have your mom buy them, however it works in your family. I'm presuming you are still wearing guys undies) This can also help with tucking. Your age is kinda tough on suggesting sizing - if you still fit bigger kids sizing, that's pretty much the same. Adult sizing is slightly trickier.

    And, don't worry about it being noticed you are tucking. Nobody is going to notice that a "guy" doesn't really have a bulge there, besides, most pants create one for you. (For the times you still feel the need to present male) Could also use clear nail polish on all your nails, or even colors on your toes if you don't wear sandals.

    You can also look up two groups that may be in your area that might help - a transgender support group, and RAY (Rainbow Area Youth). It's amazing what actually physically meeting people like you can do for your self esteem.
     
  7. MetalRice

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    I am out to my parents and siblings, yes, and yes I do still wear guys underwear at the current moment, but I unfortunately have no one who could buy me more appropriate underwear at the current time (either due to not being accepting, not wanting to start trouble, or just not being around to help), so that's not really an option, and neither is tucking with the guys undies that I have to wear. I thought about sneaking into my mother's bathroom and finding her clear nail polish through, and trying that; but I was afraid of getting caught.

    As for support groups, that's a no-go as well; since I can't drive and have no one who could drive me.
     
  8. Just Jess

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    I think especially early on the highlight of my day was when I could put on some music, light a couple scented candles, and just sit down for half an hour with a cup of peppermint tea. It's not always easy to find opportunities to do that or to get left alone long enough to do that. And it didn't always fix my dysphoria, it just helped me deal with the crap caused by my dysphoria. My problems would come right back with a vengeance right as soon as I got up. But boy did that help when I could do it.
     
    #8 Just Jess, Aug 31, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2015
  9. MetalRice

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    What I usually do is binge on gummi bears and watch stupid YouTube videos, but that doesn't always work for obvious reasons.
     
  10. Just Jess

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    If you're planning a transition and want to feel like you're making progress, you can always try working on your voice for a bit.

    If you just need to feel a little more feminine for a little while, you can hang out here young lady :slight_smile: Or just about anywhere on the internet with a female persona.
     
  11. confuzzled82

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    Is school back in session? Many schools have a GSA that may help. As far as support groups, maybe one is within a short bike ride or bus trip. The one I am in is on at least it's 3rd location. Currently, it meets at an arts center in the middle of a residential area. It was at a suburban church last, and an inner city church before that. RAY also meets in the same place.

    Http://transflorida.tumblr.com/support
     
    #11 confuzzled82, Aug 31, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2015
  12. MetalRice

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    I guess that's an option, but my voice is really deep as it is, so it may be hard to get progress on that front; I can certainly give it a try.

    And yeah, I've always solely adopted a female persona on all of my online accounts outside of my Facebook and Email; which I can't change at the current moment; it helps somewhat.

    I'm homeschooled; so that isn't an option